Attachment is the attitude or pattern of behavior that you tend to when you relate to others.Your early interactions with your parents shape your attachment style throughout life. Depending on how close and responsive your parents were, your attachment style could be secure, anxious, disorganized, avoidant, or something else.
However, even if your attachment style is avoidant, you can change to a secure attachment with the help of professionals. This will make your personal relationships, in any field, improve significantly. If personal relationships improve, there is no doubt that any facet of your life will be greatly benefited..
What does avoidant attachment mean?
Avoidant attachment is an attachment style that a child develops when their father and/or mother fail to show care or responsiveness beyond providing essentials like food and a roof over their heads. The child thus ignores her own struggles and needs to keep the peace and keep her parents close. As they grow they continue to fight and feel anxious or sad, but they keep it to themselves and they deny the importance of those feelings.
When a child wants or needs support, avoidant parents may downplay or ignore their problems. This encourages them to develop an avoidant attachment style. East type of attachment it often stays with one person well into adulthood, which can affect their romantic relationships, friendships, and any other kind of connection.
Causes of avoidant attachment
Let's see some examples of parental behaviors that encourage the development of this type of attachment:
- Not responding when a baby or child cries
- Actively discourage their crying
- Not externalizing emotional reactions to problems or achievements of the child
- Failing to address medical issues or nutritional needs
- Avoid physical contact
Parents are more likely to display these behaviors if they are very young or inexperienced in raising children. It is also common in parents who have a mental illness. Children can also develop avoidant attachment styles due to adoption or to a disease they suffer from. Other reasons may be due to the divorce of their parents or the death of the parents.
Avoidant Attachment Signs
People of any age who have avoidant attachment styles may show symptoms of depression or anxiety. Children of avoidant parents may not know how to externalize the need for affection or care. These people are likely to:
- Avoid physical contact
- Avoid eye contact
- Do not ask for help, or if they ask for it, be an exception
- Eat abnormally or disorderly
As avoidantly attached children grow older, may show signs in later relationships and behaviors, such as:
- Trouble showing or feeling your emotions
- They feel discomfort with physical closeness and physical contact with other people
- In romantic relationships, they accuse their father of being too clingy or clingy
- Refuse help or emotional support from other people
- Fear of being hurt by their partner or someone else if they open up too much
- The sense of personal independence and freedom is more important than relating to other people
- Not trusting their partner in times of stress, and not allowing their partner to trust them
- Appear calm and collected in emotionally charged situations
Treatments for avoidant attachment
Avoidant attachment can prevent people from having healthy and satisfying relationships with their partners, family and friends. But it is possible to change the attachment style through therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy works by identifying harmful thought patterns and behaviors, understanding why and when they happen. It is possible to get rid of these harmful thought patterns and behaviors through role-playing, problem solving and developing self-confidence.
For avoidant attachment, cognitive behavioral therapy can address avoidant thoughts and beliefs, and work to build secure attachment instead. Finding the right therapist is an important part of treatment. The patient must feel comfortable with his therapist and must trust him. With therapy, consistency is key, even if you feel like your thoughts and behaviors are improving quickly.