I remember when I studied Sigmund Freud's Oedipus complex in college to explain a stage in the child's development. Sigmund Freud took this name from an ancient Greek play called Oedipus the King. In this play, a fortune teller predicts that the baby Oedipus would kill his father and marry his mother. To thwart this fate, Oedipus' mother gives her baby to some shepherds with orders to kill him.
These shepherds take pity on the baby's life and raise it and finally the destiny is fulfilled without the young man knowing anything about the destiny that protected him. Freud looks for similarity in this story when he explained in his theories the stage of the child's development when he has devotion to his mother. But, What are the symptoms of the Oedipus complex?
What is Oedipus syndrome?
The Oedipus complex usually appears between 3 and 7 years in the child and is a normal stage of affective development of the little one who must pass it. The little one begins to feel a desire to be more with the mother and can generate some hostility towards the father.
This stage just as it begins, must disappear. The fact that the child does not overcome it adequately can lead to an unhealthy relationship with the mother. This can worsen over the years and even generate emotional dependence in the little one.
If this emotional dependence occurs, it will not allow you to develop properly. But over time this rejection of the father disappears and little by little he begins to identify with the father and focus on him as an adult role model.
The Oedipus complex: the Greek myth and psychological disorder
In Greek mythology, King Laius discovered through the oracle that he would be killed by his son once he was older and marry his mother. That is why the order is for them to kill the baby, but this did not happen because the shepherds saved his life and when the King's son returned to Thebes he fulfilled the prophecy without knowing it. He killed his father and married his mother without knowing that she was his mother.
When we refer to the development of a child, the Oedipus complex can occur during the first years of life. The child will feel rejection by his father, a rejection that will be overcome when he identifies with the father without feeling desire for the mother.
Oedipus and Electra
In addition to the Oedipus complex, the Electra complex is also known. It is the same type of complex but in women. It was drawn up by Carl Gustav Jung and it is understood as when an adult woman with the Electra complex has a strong bond with her father, which resembles that of a romantic attraction. At the same time, these women also have a strong rivalry with their mothers, because they perceive her as a rival.
Symptoms of the Oedipus complex in children
The child tends to be attracted to his mother and begins to show hostility towards his father. The symptoms in the little ones are:
- The child demands attention from the mother.
- He says he wants to marry Mom.
- He feels possession with his mother.
Oedipus complex symptoms in adults
However it is also important to know if it is happening to an adult. To know this, do not miss which are the most common symptoms or characteristics:
- Much closeness to his mother and admiration for her
- They give priority to their mother over any other circumstance or person in their life
- They always ask their mother for advice and consent for everything, they do not know how to make their own decisions
- They have sexual problems with partners because they have unconscious and repressed sexual desires by their mother
- They tend to have toxic personal relationships and relationships do not last long
- They tend to fall in love with people who are unattainable
- Sometimes they depend on the mother, even economically as an adult
- They never manage to feel the feeling of fullness
- They tend to have partners older than them
- They may be afraid of being intimate with another person
The negative Oedipus complex: when it is not overcome
There are children who remain anchored in this stage and are not able to overcome it. This means that with more than 30 years, for example, they remain anchored in the stage of their life where they feel devotion to the mother and disgust for the father. When this happens it must be treated to prevent it from becoming pathological.
Consequences of not having overcome the Oedipus complex
It is essential that it is treated from childhood to avoid the consequences mentioned in the previous point. Otherwise, the consequences will be present in the life of the person affected. In addition, he will have mental problems that will prevent him from maintaining a normal and full life. It can affect one or more areas of your life.
In fact, will be an immature person with a weak character for always depending on his mother. You will never be a self-sufficient person and you will not have your own financial resources. You will be a person frustrated for not knowing how to lead your life correctly. Also, if you have a partner you will have conflicts continuously. The goals or objectives that you set will not reach them and you will feel bad in all aspects of your life.
It will be a person with instability and emotional vulnerability, emotionally immature… but he will also have psychological and sexual immaturity. All this, without treatment, can cause severe emotional problems, even suffering from some type of mental disorder in the future.
If the problem is deeply rooted, the solution will take longer to arrive, but with willpower and consistency it is possible to achieve it with the help of a good professional that provides the guidelines to follow on a day-to-day basis. The first step is to recognize the problem, stop wanting to be a child and take charge of your own life.