Sometimes it is not easy to convince or motivate children to do things at home or school tasks, but the problem is in that: you try to convince him to do something and he feels obliged to do it. Children (as well as adults) to be able to do things well need sufficient motivation for them to do it. That is why convincing children to do things can be a challenge and to stop doing other things that they want to continue doing can be even more complicated.
But if you want your children to improve their behavior and start doing the things that until today it is very difficult for you to convince them to do ... Keep reading, because things as necessary as brushing their teeth, taking out the garbage, doing homework or other things, They will no longer be a problem at home or a reason for discussion.
Rewards or bribes are often not a good long-term option
The rewards
They seem the same but you have to differentiate them, at first you may think that they are very important so that children can carry out the tasks that are entrusted to them willingly and that little by little they create the habit of doing it without the need to reward them (instead with the bribes will always demand more and more of you). But be careful, sometimes the positive effects of rewards are short-lived.
Children may have reward-dependent behaviors and therefore will not perform the desired behavior if the rewards run out. It is as easy as understanding that in your job (as an adult) they stopped paying you to do your work tasks, would you go to work for free?
Bribes
The use of bribes is the same as with rewards, in the short term it is not a bad thing for example if you want your child to stop having a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, but that will not form the character of your child nor will it help him to understand that he should have a tidy room, for example.
What is to be done?
It is necessary that for your child to feel motivated to do things he feels good inside. That is why the right environment should be created so that you feel the satisfaction for having learned a new skill and for a job well done. It is important that you feel happiness when doing things, not just when reaching the result.
When a child learns a new skill like playing spinning top, they can feel very good about having achieved it and will want to do it and repeat it. The feeling of mastery and getting a new skill is what is most motivating.
Accept their imperfections and their rhythms
Most young children enjoy doing homework if they are not imposed on them and especially if you do not pressure them to do them well or to do them quickly. It is very sad to see 3-year-old children lose love or the desire to do something just for fear of the reaction of their parents. Sometimes a child who wants to learn to dress himself may give up when his parents are too demanding or are always in a hurry ... he will not see the opportunity to do it right. The child needs time and patience on the part of the parents to learn new skills.
In the tasks that they do like to do ...
If you want your children to feel motivated to carry out the tasks, you should make sure that you praise their effort more than the final result and that if they need help, give it to them ... but do not do it for them just because you are in a hurry or because you are running out of energy. patience. Also, if there are tasks at home that your child likes to do, why make him do only what he does not like? If he wants to take out the trash or do the dishes… let him do it if he's old enough to do it. It's a win-win!
In the tasks that they do not like to do ...
If there are tasks at home that your children do not like to do, you will have to think outside the box to make these tasks attractive to them and that they can do them willingly. For example, if your child does not like to make the bed, you can have a competition to see who finishes before making his.
Also sit would be a good idea to offer alternatives, For example, you can offer him two alternatives of tasks to do (which they know he does not like but what he should do) and that he does the one he prefers. As he is the one who chooses the task to be carried out, it will cost him less to do it and he will feel more motivation since he will not feel it as imposed. Another idea is that if you have to do a task, yes or yes, you are given time optionsFor example, if you have to take out the garbage you can decide to do it before or after dinner, or if you have to brush your teeth you can do it before or after bath time.
Avoid power struggles
Fear, power struggles or a strong hand will never be good options to motivate children. For a child to do something out of fear of the consequences is not an adequate way to motivate him since you will only get that when he sees that he can get rid of the consequences, he stops carrying out the desired behavior. Power struggles are unnecessary and always end in words that you most likely regret having said.
Nobody likes to feel controlled, least of all young children! They must explore their world and learn what behaviors are appropriate, but without pressure or force. From positive discipline great results are achieved. Young children like to grow up knowing that they have the power of their choices and that no one is imposing anything on them.
And of course, you cannot forget that if you want to motivate your children to do things ... you will have to be the best example and role model.