The 'age of the turkey' is quite stigmatized, it is an age in children in which they are indiscriminately labeled about immature and irrational behavior ... But it is normal behavior and it occurs because of the development they are going through. Adolescents are on the road to adulthood and this involves a series of important hormonal, physical and emotional changes that will change their lives.
Adolescents seek to establish their identity and they need the adult to guide and guide them, and to be told that 'they are of turkey age', it really does not help them at all. Many parents know that this phase or stage begins between the ages of 10 and 13 and usually reaches its peak during adolescence until maturity, which can reach between 16 and 19 years of age.
In this stage, adolescents, wanting to mark their identity, try to separate themselves from their parents as much as possible and establish more relationships with their peers. But this does not mean that they stop needing their parents, far from it! They can show that they do not need them and that the most important thing is their friendships, but the reality will always be quite different. Although it is not possible to generalize, what is more widespread is that girls mature before boys.
The brain is developing
When puberty arrives, the bodies of boys and girls change, they become adolescents and their physique resembles that of adults ... and their brain also looks much more like that of an adult. The brain is the last organ in the body to mature and maturation is not complete until approximately 24 years of age. The chemistry and structure of the adolescent brain is only about 80% of its final form.
Adolescents, thanks to their brain structure, can learn more and better than adults because they reach the maximum of their learning thanks to synaptic plasticity. Brain cells communicate with each other and this is how you learn. Synapses get bigger when something is learned. The proteins and chemicals involved in the construction of learning synapses are very high at this stage of development, although as adolescents get older they decrease and are reduced in adults. For this reason children can learn two or three languages ​​perfectly. An adolescent is not as effective as a child but is better than an adult in terms of speed at which they can learn and absorb information.
The paradox to all this is that while adolescents have a greater capacity to learn, the connections between the different areas of the brain are still developing and that is why they can have an attitude and behavior that is too unpredictable in many cases.
The frontal lobes are still developing and are responsible for vision, judgment, impulse control, empathy and other aspects that adolescents have trouble controlling. The adolescent brain is very active on the one hand, it is capable of learning very effectively but at the same time it is being led towards behaviors that slow down this great capacity.
Important aspects in adolescence
Bad habits and IQ
Drugs and alcohol can have a more serious impact on the adolescent brain than the adult brain. Your IQ may change and go up or down between the ages of 13 and 17. Although it is not really known what can cause the IQ to decrease, it is clear that exposure to some drugs can lower the IQ. Likewise, stress can also be a problem because you are not able to handle problems as effectively as an adult can, but you must learn to do so.
Multitasking and sleep
There are recent studies that reveal short-term problems for adolescents: multitasking. It is a sensory overload that can hinder your ability to remember words or other concepts.
Sleep is very important for learning and memory in adolescents ... but they may not get the hours they really need. If a teenager remembers late or wakes up late in the morning, it is possible that parents think that this happens because they are lazy ... but the reality is that they are simply being adolescents, their biological clocks are programmed for that. But what cannot be forgotten is that they need 8 or 9 hours of sleep in order to have healthy brain development.
For a teenager to get up at 6 in the morning to go to school is like an adult getting up at three in the morning. This occurs because adults usually receive an increase in melatonin - the hormone produced by the brain to produce sleep - from 8.30pm, whereas in adolescents it does not occur until approximately 11pm.
How to connect with your child in 'the age of the turkey'
- Trust must be earned.
- Negotiate and set limits
- The alternatives can be your best ally so as not to argue unnecessarily
- Your child's attention to you is based on your confidence
- Establish open communication so they know they can count on you
- Spend quality time with your children
- Do activities together
- Give them space and responsibilities
- Measure your words, the best intentions can be misinterpreted if you use the wrong words
- Be interested in everything your child wants to explain or say to you
- Learn to listen effectively
- Control your anger
- Be the best example
- Learn to be flexible
- Listen to their opinion and give them value
Your teenage children need you, they need your guidance and your guidance. Avoid accusations, judgments, or hurtful words. Empathy and assertiveness should be the bases of your communication from now on. Your child should feel that you listen to him and that you trust him. The 'age of the turkey' is nothing more than a transitional process.