Being a mother is an intense and wonderful experience. It makes your weaknesses become strengths, and that you understand that every day is new, and that it will subject you to a challenge that you did not expect. You grow up being a mother, new roles are acquired but also, it forces you to reformulate many things that you had not even considered before motherhood.
These are many of the things that vindicate us ConstanceHall. If you have never heard of her, we will tell you that thanks to her profiles on social networks she has made many of her words go viral. His recommendations, which more than advice are "battle cries" to The woman who is a mother, the woman who fights to raise her children and who enjoys every dayAt «Mothers Today» we want to tell you about her. We are sure that you will be interested.
The claim of being a mother and being a woman
When someone's words go viral, it's because there's some nuance that sparks controversy or that She speaks out what many keep silent about.In this case, Constance Hall achieved it thanks to the following phrase: "Being a good mother doesn't mean spending eternity cleaning."
Something like this makes us smile, but it also stirs something within us. However, behind this phrase lies a whole plea for women who, above all else, chooses to prioritize, take care of their personal development leading their children by the hand in that fascinating but complex daily path.
Constance Hall is 32 years old and lives in Australia. Through its P you will see A young woman who doesn't hesitate to show her body, her cesarean scars, and her stretch marks.She always takes her babies everywhere and enjoys a social life with friends, relatives, walks on the beach, meals, meetings…
Your message connects It resonates with thousands of mothers because it breaks two deeply ingrained ideas: that a good mother must do everything alone and, moreover, that she must do it perfectly. Instead, she normalizes chaos, a messy house, the real body, and the right to continue having leisure time, friendships, and personal interests.
The letter she left on her profile, which became one of the most viral regarding motherhood, Summarize with these main phrases and ideas:
«To the woman in the park, looking at her phone, ignoring her children. I'm saying hello. Instead of being glued to technology, you should connect with the world, with your children, and not with those groups of mothers who only talk through social media. Because remember, you shouldn't care at all what that 'little group of mothers' thinks.
The woman who piles up stacks of unwashed dishes and still grabs the door and goes to have coffee with her friends. I salute you. Being a good mother or wife or a good human being does not mean spending eternity cleaning your house. If you get too obsessed with it, your friends will start to make a living, but without you.
Listen to me in something else. The woman who waits for antidepressants after childbirth. I salute you. You will still be dealing with it when your children grow up, do not confuse depression with not fighting, you are the queen of your life and you will be able to do it all. You are in the best moment of your life, enjoy what you have in your arms.
Sometimes we confuse strength and weakness, but strength is always within you, and sometimes it's as simple as daring to ask for help. Keep in mind that Many women are going through the same thing as you, they just don't dare to talk about it..
To the woman who has not lost all her weight after childbirthI salute you. Being a mother is a new job that requires your attention 24 hours a day, but it's unpaid and won't end for another 20 years. So, go ahead and eat that cake if you want. Your postpartum body is not public business, so forget the comments people make about it: nobody cares.
With this letter, Hall sends a direct message: You are no less of a mother for needing rest, help, or time for yourself.Nor are you a worse mother if you don't fit the mold of domestic perfection that society often demands.
The importance of our personal growth
We may agree or disagree with many of the words spoken and published by Constance HallIt is clear that every woman experiences motherhood and raising children in her own way, and it may also be that you are one of those who leaves her dishes clean and her house tidy and also meets with her friends every day without any problem.
However, the essence of this viral letter that has circled the globe is much more than that nuance; it's much more than associating motherhood with being a slave to the home and the task of caring for our children. Therefore, it's important to consider these aspects and rethink our priorities.
Being a mother doesn't erase your identity as a woman, partner, friend, professional, daughter, or sister. Each of those roles is part of your identity and It needs space to developWhen a single facet takes over everything, exhaustion, a feeling of enslavement, and often guilt appear.
Integrating motherhood into your life means allowing yourself to continue growing, studying, working, or dreaming of new projects. From the experience of many women, It's not about choosing between your children or you.but rather learning to add and ask for support to make that addition possible.
The importance of our social circle
Whether you're a single parent or have a partner, you have people who support, love, and understand you. This circle can include family, friends, other mothers in the neighborhood, parenting groups, or even online communities where You can share your doubts without feeling judged..
Remember that your partner also experiences parenthood with you every day.So don't hesitate to involve him in every aspect, let him help you, and enjoy your leisure time together. Sharing caregiving and household chores isn't "helping," it's co-responsibility, and it greatly eases the mother's mental load.
- You know what Being a mother forces you to take on new responsibilitiesBut that doesn't mean cutting ties with your old life overnight. Your friends are still there, as are your coworkers.
- It's important to avoid being alone at home all day. This is something many women experience during the first few months: partners return to work, and we spend a lot of time on childcare, falling into a routine and often even into a progressive state of sadness or helplessness.
- Avoid it, go for a walk, sunbathe, join swimming courses with your babies, early stimulation or even yoga. There are many activities you can do with your children during those first months or years. and they also allow you to meet other mothers.
- If you are a single mother, your support network is even more essential. You are no less responsible for asking someone to look after your child for a few hours. to go to the doctor, to work, or simply to rest.
The environment also needs to change. It's crucial that we stop judging mothers who go out to dinner, who go away for a weekend with friends, or who share a photo enjoying themselves without their children. Taking care of your social life doesn't make you a bad motherIt makes you a more balanced and happy person.
Being a mother is learning to be stronger and freer every day
It might seem like a paradox: to be a mother and to be free? Absolutely. Just reflect for a few moments on these ideas and how Motherhood can also be a process of empowerment..
- Raising a child will teach you incredible things every day, you will discover all your strengths, your ingenuity to attend, negotiate, distract, take care of, watch over, teach and have fun ...
- You will walk hand in hand with your son while you progress as a womanThis applies both to your relationship with your partner and to your career. Many mothers discover new talents or make career changes thanks to what they've learned during this time.
- Day-to-day experience will teach you which paths to take and which to avoid. Everything is wisdom, which you build yourself, and this, knowing what your priorities are and what you deserve, undoubtedly offers you more personal freedom, more satisfaction.
- A happy and satisfied person is able to offer the best of himself to othersAnd therefore, all of this will benefit your children, their growth and maturity.
- Being free is also learning to set boundaries: to the family that gives its opinion without knowing your reality, to the partner who does not share responsibilities, to the job that does not respect your work-life balance, or to the guilt that tries to take hold every time you think about yourself.
You are not a slave: motherhood, mental load and exhaustion
Many mothers express that they deeply love their children, but at the same time They feel trapped in a tiring routineIt's not that they don't love their babies, it's that they experience motherhood as an endless day without breaks or recognition.
Mental load refers to everything you organize and think about in silenceMedical appointments, vaccinations, shopping, meals, clothes, birthdays, school schedules, extracurricular activities, as well as the emotional management of the children and the family. This burden falls, in most cases, on the mother.
When the partner also disengages from childcare or considers it occasional "help," the situation can become suffocating. Phrases like "I work outside the home, you stay home" or "daycare is for people who can't stay with their children" are examples of how It is justifiable that all the weight falls on a single person..
Feeling overwhelmed, irritated, losing your patience, or dreaming of some time alone doesn't make you selfish. They're signs that you need real rest and effective supportIt's not just pills or quick diagnoses of depression when what's really there is profound exhaustion.
Postpartum depression, exhaustion, and asking for help
Constance Hall's letter also mentions women who expect antidepressants after childbirthIt is important to differentiate: postpartum depression is a serious reality that needs professional support, but not all tiredness or sadness is depression.
Many doctors and specialists point out that, sometimes, what exists is a Extreme exhaustion due to lack of rest, support, and personal timeWhen a mother doesn't sleep well for weeks, takes care of several children alone, recovers from childbirth, and also runs the household, her body eventually says "enough."
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, Admitting that you can't do everything is an act of strengthThis includes talking to your partner to renegotiate tasks, to your family to get them involved, to other mothers to share strategies, or to a professional if you feel your mental health is deteriorating.
If those around you minimize your discomfort or label everything as "depression" without exploring other causes, you may feel misunderstood. That's why it's key that you yourself assess your real needs for rest and independence and defend them firmly.
A mother's body is not a public matter
Another of the most powerful points of the viral letter is the defense of woman's body after childbirthStretch marks, belly fat, extra weight, or scars often become the subject of comments, jokes, or criticism.
Society sends a contradictory message: you're expected to recover quickly, be available for everything, take care of your baby day and night, and also... Get your old body back in record timeThis aesthetic pressure adds to the existing emotional burden.
Your body has conceived, given birth to, and nourished life. Change is normal. You are not obligated to hide or justify your appearanceNor should you subject yourself to extreme diets or impossible routines while you're raising children. If you want to improve your health or exercise, do it for yourself, not because of other people's judgment.
As Hall recalls, Your body is not a public matterYour worth as a mother, woman, or person does not depend on what the scale says or how your abdomen looks in a photo.
Being a single mother is not being a slave
In many homes, the father figure is absent, whether physically, emotionally, or financially. Despite this, Society often places the blame on single mothers.questioning their decisions, their social life, or their ability to raise children alone.
While single fathers are applauded and hailed as heroes, women in the same situation are judged more harshly. Comments, memes, and jokes reinforce the idea that "If she's a single mother, she must have done something wrong.", making the lack of paternal responsibility invisible.
Furthermore, when a single mother goes out, dresses up, or shares a photo of herself enjoying herself, many assume she's neglecting her children. Rarely is consideration given to that woman's right to... to rebuild, rest, go out and continue developing their personal and professional life.
Being a single mother doesn't mean giving up on your dreams or living chained to guilt. Everyone has the right to choose. How many children to have, with whom, and under what conditionsas well as to rebuild their lives if a relationship breaks down or becomes harmful.
Right to a life of one's own beyond children
Motherhood shouldn't be a prison. It's an important part of your identity, but not the only one. You have the right to study, work, fall in love, travel, read, play sports, or simply do nothing for a few hours..
That right remains even if you are a single mother, even if your children are young, or even if there are people around you who don't understand. Reclaiming your time and your individuality doesn't mean loving your children any less; it means to love you too.
When a mother feels free to breathe, ask for help, and make her own decisions, she sends her children a powerful message: Love doesn't have to be confused with absolute sacrificeHe also teaches them, by example, to respect their own boundaries and to build healthier relationships.
Free from imposed guilt, you can gradually create a more conscious motherhood, more yours, where being a mother doesn't make you a slave, but a woman who chooses, makes mistakes, learns and moves on with dignity.
Do not hesitate, you also have your principles and your values, your own demands like those of Constance Hall. Make them your flag and Experience motherhood and raising your child your way.Taking care of you every day of your life, defending your right to rest, pleasure and personal growth without anyone being able to call you a bad mother for it.