Son I love you so much that I tell you NO. The importance of setting limits for our children.

The need to set limits in childhood and adolescence is of vital importance for proper family, social and emotional functioning. When we talk about limits we mean to establish clearly and openly what our child should or should not do. The rules must be logical, reflected and agreed upon when possible.

The limits are not fixed, they are flexible rules that have to be modified depending on the particular situation of the family, as well as the age of the child. But the most important thing in limits is the need to establish them.

Parental overprotection makes it difficult to establish clear limits. The appearance of vague and diffuse norms that are more adapted to the momentary needs of children than to the logic of parents is frequent. This excessively protective vision is highly detrimental to the development of children. In this way, behavior problems can appear in puberty and adolescence, on numerous occasions.

When we say “no” to our child, we give him a message of love. "I love you so much, I want a future of personal and social acceptance for you, that I have to teach you to tolerate your frustration." This is difficult for parents, as it is much more painful to see anger, sadness and crying appear. But we cannot forget that the appearance of negative emotions are as important as moments of joy and happiness. Throughout life we ​​have to learn to experience all emotions. The management of anger and frustration is necessary to manage it properly from childhood.

Fathers and mothers, let's say no to our children when necessary and say yes when it is also necessary. Let's say no with love, affection and affection. Let's encourage them, let's motivate them, let's make them feel capable of facing any difficulty. All of this will allow us to control the difficult moments of "noes" that will come throughout childhood, adolescence and adult life.