As a mother you may feel selfish every time you think of yourself, but you need to do so if you really want to be a better mother, a better wife, and a good friend. Perhaps you have felt that motherhood has murky waters or that you feel in a desperate world trying to live up to the expectations of society, your family and your own expectations.
When this happens, there will come a day that you will look in the mirror and wonder who that person is who is staring back at you. Where is the woman that you were and that you are? Where has he hidden? You realize that you don't know what happened to you, nor do you know where that woman you once was is. But That woman is still with you, she has fallen asleep ... and it is time to wake her up again.
Do you put yourself at the bottom of the list?
Mothers (each and every one of us) have a tendency to put ourselves at the bottom of the list, it seems that this is what good mothers do, right? Nothing about that. It is not necessary that you stop buying clothes -which you need- because your children need 3 pairs of shoes, maybe 2 looks like shoes is enough for them and you can have the clothes you need.
You probably don't have time to go to the gym because you don't want to waste time with your children, but why can't you be fit? Play sports with your children or when they are in after-school. Have you ever had to dine standing up because you prioritized your children's dinner before yours? Badly done, dinner is everyone's time, not just your kids.
Don't you have time to wash your hair because you have your schedule full of activities for your children? Where is your priority? I'm not saying that you forget about your children or that you use all the time for yourself, but I do say that you prioritize some time in the day to be you again, to take care of yourself, to be able to be a better mother and have greater emotional well-being. Sounds good? Make it happen!
You want to do it all
Many mothers have a tendency to want to control everything, to have everything under control because they think that that way everything will be fine. One of the reasons why mothers want to have everything under control, because they love their children enormously, more than themselves ... and it is normal, quite natural. Also, the media bombard us for mothers to be perfect. It seems that women must learn to bend over and over again, but what happens if you fall over so much bending over?
What happens if you bend over to the point of falling?
If you fall, you will feel bad, you will think that your life is disgusting and you will cry, you will cry a lot. You will have done it for your children, for your family ... you will think of other obligations and you will not think of yourself. Until you fall and feel the pain of being collapsed. Your body will be in a different world than your mind, because your mind just stopped thinking a long time ago.
In order not to fall, you must walk with your partner as a team, but also as a couple. If you are not emotionally well, your family can break down, your job can break down, passion can be lost… you will feel like you are drowning, your health will begin to deteriorate and you may even begin to question your daily purpose in life.
After spending a few years running without thinking about a ghost world, you should know that you are destined to lose. The extra stress you put into your life won't benefit you, and neither will your family. If you really want to be a good mother, a good wife, a good friend and also a good person ... then you must be your priority. You need to reconnect with who you are and what you want to be. Write down on a piece of paper what you want to achieve, how you want to see yourself in a month ... and start changing things in your life until you achieve it.
Put yourself first
Yes, put yourself first and both you and your family will be happier. Once you realize there is a problem, you are the only person who can fix it. So this is exactly what you should do. Seek a goal first, and yes… you can put your family and your children first, but you won't have to put yourself under them, but next to them.
Your children can be just as happy doing one activity with you instead of three… you can set time limits for your work, you can disconnect from the phone when you feel saturated… set limits. Find a job that fits your life better, even if you earn less and adjust more. Connect with your partner and have intimate nights and moments where you are not only parents, but also couples and lovers.
Begin to prioritize a moment in the day so that you can all eat together as a family, either at lunch or dinner ... to work on uninterrupted conversations, without TV ... or telephones. Take family trips ... commit to yourself and your family, do things together two or three times a week and soon it will be routine and you will also be able to find time for yourself. Take naps on Sunday afternoons without remorse ... The goal is that when you spend time with your family you are present, that you enjoy it ... and they will enjoy it too.
Your happiness is very important
You deserve all the happiness in the world just because of how fighter you are. If you do not have a support system - partner or family - you may think that these changes are impossible. The reality is that they will be more difficult, but they don't have to be impossible.
You can talk to friends, neighbors or relatives who are in the same situation as you. You can take turns taking care of the children, you can cook a little more at night so you don't have to cook so much during the day, you can meet friends while you are with your children… think about how to get it, and then do it.