The gift of highly sensitive children (PAS): How to educate them?

Since Elaine N. Aron published "The Gift of High Sensitivity" in the 90s, this topic has only grown and helped many people get to know each other much better.. It is said that almost 20% of the population identifies with this type of personality, which has nothing to do with introversion. Highly sensitive people (PAS) see and understand the world in a different way, from a sensitivity so special that it does not always offer them true happiness.

Their empathy is very high, they feel the pain of others and they are more fragile when facing a disappointment, a deception or a simple lie. Thus, it is very important that we know how to identify this characteristic in our children. If we guide them, we will get them to see life from the heart, but always having good strategies to be strong. In Mothers Today we explain it to you.

How to Identify Highly Sensitive Children

Every child is special to his parents. Now, something that we are always aware of and especially if we have more than one child is that each one has needs. There are more mischievous, others more introverted and still others, who seem to realize much more things than their brothers.

One aspect to consider is that the fact that a child behaves differently from the rest should not necessarily be a problem. Seeing and feeling the world differently is not bad, it is a gift, but a gift that must be understood, especially by the child himself. That way they will become more confident adults.

Let us now look at the characteristics of highly sensitive children.

• When they are just babies, they react a lot to changes in light and even sounds. They usually cry about anything.
• As they get older you will also notice that even the friction of their clothes hurts them.. Their pain threshold is very low, so they may complain about wearing a certain type of socks or underwear.
• From a very young age they can be attracted to art and music. They are very good at drawing, and represent aspects that go out of the ordinary. They go beyond what meets the eye.
• Highly sensitive children they are much more mature than children their age. They will realize things that will surprise you, and the most striking thing: they realize your worries, when you are sad, disappointed, restless ... It is something to take into account.
• Something very common is that at school, they usually have some other problem. Lies, criticism, being rejected or even seeing how they hurt other children is a problem for them. The world of children, as you know, can be a bit "cruel" at times, and these kinds of things affect highly sensitive children.
• The questions they ask you usually have a very particular moral and philosophical depth. They worry about things that go beyond their closest circle, they watch television and do not understand why certain situations occur, and why there are people who have to suffer.
• Another very characteristic aspect is that they like to do things alone. Now, this does not mean that they are avoiding relationships, but that sometimes, they enjoy more doing things alone, such as drawing, playing games, listening to music ...

How to educate highly sensitive children

It's funny how for a long time, until all those books were published as a "wave" of books on high sensitivity, many people did not understand why they felt so different. Why they were more sensitive to the most everyday things, and why they saw life in such a particular way to the rest of their acquaintances.

Today high sensitivity is accepted as another type of personality, and that it would be within the area of ​​introversion, but without fulfilling that withdrawal. Therefore, it is worth knowing a series of simple strategies to know how to guide our children on a day-to-day basis. Take note.

Boosts their self-esteem

It is a fundamental pillar that we must not neglect. Seeing the world differently makes them feel different, and seeing themselves different makes them see themselves as vulnerable.

• Rate every reasoning, every word that your child makes. Make them see that being more sensitive than others is a gift, and that it will allow them to enjoy life with a unique intensity. Art and music are two good modes of expression where to find power, make him see that being more sensitive is being smarter because he understands people more.
• Make him see that if his classmates do not behave or feel the same things as them, it is not bad. Each person is unique, and this is something very positive.
• They must learn that receiving criticism, accepting that someone from the school rejects or deceives them is also something normal that they should not internalize. Having had a bad day does not mean that tomorrow will be too bad. Just because a child has lied to you does not mean that they are all liars.
• Make him see that he is strong, that he will be able to do many things as long as they want and value themselves.

Respect their moments of loneliness or independence

You will want to do things on your own, and you will need to be alone many times. Allow it but supervise as long as you don't overdo it. Solitude will allow you to get in touch with yourself to settle ideas, feelings, experiences.

Later, never hesitate to talk to him or her. The questions you ask should be as deep as their reasoning or concerns. It is about asking to empathize with them, but without ever having the feeling that you are controlling them. We give you some examples, where we are going to prioritize the positive and empathic contact.

• Has something interesting happened to you in class?
• Today you seem somewhat sad. People have good days and bad days, life is sometimes somewhat capricious. Mine has been very good ... How has yours been?
• I am reading a very interesting book. What topics are you most interested in when choosing a book?
• I also like to be alone from time to time, I think about my things and what I would like to do tomorrow. And you ... what would you like to be when you grow up? The most important thing is that you are always happy, so tell me ... what would you like to do to always be as happy as possible?

Structure your day to day and avoid sources of stress

This advice is not only useful for highly sensitive children, it is actually useful for most. However, in those children who are more sensitive than normal it is not worth subjecting them to sources that may cause them more disquiet than stability.

Never make the mistake that "it must be stronger and smarter", and that for this it is worth pointing it to certain sports or camps. Talk to them beforehand, be aware that highly sensitive children do not like to compete, or do things in groups, or situations with a lot of agitation, screaming or noise.

Establish good trust with your child and understand it. Parents do not have the function of changing the personality of our children, but to guide them every day so that they are as they are, they find happiness.