No father or mother gets up in the morning with the intention of yelling at their children, but without a doubt there are many who fall for it, regardless of the age of the children. When there is nerves or tension, there is usually screaming in homes. We can't deny that parenting can be really stressful and that children can do things that make parents angry, disappointing, or even worrying.
The trick is to respond effectively. In this way, when children reach the age of adolescence, parents will have already trained their emotions to avoid screaming, because they only cause harm to children. The problems associated with physical punishment are well known to all and many parents would never think of hitting their children, but ... why then do they resort to yelling at them and emotionally pushed to the limit?
The harm that screaming causes to children
They feel bad about themselves
Fathers and mothers yell at their children to try to get them to stop doing the things we don't like and in this way, with the yelling, children are made to feel bad about themselves for what they are doing. This verbal abuse has negative consequences, far more serious than parents may suspect. Parents who regularly yell at their children need to use coping strategies. positive discipline.
A vicious circle that does not educate
Yelling is not educational, and parents start yelling at their children without realizing the consequences. Screaming usually begins when children 'misbehave' or when parents do not take their children's emotions into account. In these cases the parents react with this type of inappropriate verbal discipline and the result is that the behavior of the children worsens and the parents increase the yelling… There is a vicious circle that gets out of control.
Children's behavior problems create the desire to yell at children, but this will only make behavior problems worse. Screaming represents a psychological force that causes emotional pain and damage to children, with the effect of correcting or controlling misbehavior. That is, children are yelled at to try to get them to stop doing the things they do not like, making them feel bad about themselves for what they are doing.
The cries of parents to children
The screams can take several forms:
- Parents can use verbal bullying in the form of yelling
- They try to get the attention of the children by cursing in screams
- They can use humiliation and insults
A study showed that 90% of American parents reported yelling at their children. Parents often combine physical discipline, hitting or spanking with verbal abuse as their children enter adolescence… and both methods are not correct and in many cases can be a crime.
Yelling at children will make them feel that they do not have the love of their parents and worse, that the most important people in their lives do not support them as they should. Verbal abuse and yelling is linked to an increase in conduct and behavior problems, which increase levels of aggression and interpersonal problems in children. When parents yell at their children aggressively, children and adolescents feel rejected and feel that their parents do not understand or want to understand them.
Emotional consequences
There are serious emotional consequences that children suffer from being yelled at by their parents. Yelling is current in a hostile way towards children. Children of any age will feel more angry, irritable, and emotionally unstable. Instead of feeling good they will begin to have more aggressive and rebellious behaviors because they have the need to defend themselves: misconduct is served.
It is necessary to take into account a positive parenting style in families to avoid these consequences. Another emotional consequence of yelling is depression. Adolescents may be more likely to suffer from depression due to verbal aggressiveness received from their parents. This may be because children believe they are just as 'useless' as harsh criticism from their parents say. This can start a pattern of poor decisions regarding behavior or choosing friends.
Positive parenting has nothing to do with verbal aggression and much less physical. In positive parenting parents express warmth, comfort, concern and affection towards their children, taking into account your physical and emotional needs. These behaviors encourage children to interact more with parents with children and to increase their feelings of warmth and love for their children. Positive parenting is associated with fewer behavior problems, so negative parental behavior can also decrease.
The screams do NOT educate
Yelling does not educate and is not effective. In reality, yelling only makes things worse and can create psychological problems for children, damaging parent-child relationships that can last a long time, or even a lifetime. When you yell, you cannot undo the damage, but you can be responsible for your actions and ask for forgiveness whenever necessary (to your children). Using harsh words and yelling will only make a child's self-esteem look resentful and therefore, that their behavior is not appropriate because when a child feels bad, he behaves badly.
Good communication and positive discipline are essential to improve relationships with children and prevent yelling from becoming a routine at home. It will be up to you as a parent to recognize this and end this unstable and vicious cycle that will only harm you all as a family. This negative attitude must end forever.