Your child can feel and have control of his life again after being bullied. When a child is bullied, they will feel that their life is out of control, that others have the helm of their life. The most common thinking trap in which victims of bullying when they suffer these attacks is that they are powerless in the situation in which they find themselves.
It is very important that children do not adopt the victim thinking to feel that they are in control and have it. If a child focuses on regaining the power of his life, he will feel that he can go faster out of that situation. If you want to help your child regain control of his life, don't miss out on these strategies.
Take control of your thoughts and attitude
Remind your child that his attitude does not have to come from his circumstances but from how he interprets what is happening to him. Although it is true that the aggressor is responsible for his bullying, he is not responsible for the attitude that your child has in this situation. He is the one in control of how he responds to that bullying. Encourage your child to take responsibility for his feelings and the perspective of the situation.
If you are able to have a positive attitude despite the circumstances, the bullying will have less of an impact on your life. When the aggressor sees that his bullying does not have the desired impact and that he is not in control of what his victim feels, then the harassment is likely to stop.
Your thoughts are reality
Most children don't realize that the way they see the situation is ultimately how they will feel, too. In other words, if they insist on the humiliation of being bullied, they will feel humiliated.
On the other hand, if they think about how they can use self-defense or how they change their perspective in the stance against the bully, they will feel satisfied. The key is for the child who is a victim to be able to reframe their thoughts about bullying. Make her focus on the positive and avoid dwelling on only the negative.
Seek learning from bullying
Whatever happens, there is always something to be learned from a bad situation. It may not be clear to your child at first, but in the end, they should be able to look back and see what they learned from bullying. You may find that you have many more strengths than you originally thought ... You can always find things you learned despite the pain you felt.
Allow the feeling of anger
Too many times when children are bullied they try to mask their feelings. Remind your child that he has every right to be angry because he is having a hard time and that situation must stop.
You must make sure that you are taking the appropriate measures so that the situation ends as soon as possible. Instead of getting carried away by anger, Your child must accept that he feels that emotion, acknowledge it and seek solutions to be better later.
Be proactive and not reactive
To take control and have the power of the situation you must be proactive but not reactive. You need to have a plan of action that reduces the chances that you will be attacked again. This may mean being accompanied at school, avoiding possible trouble spots, being close to professionals from the educational center ... If you are experiencing cyberbullying it may be a good idea to change your passwords for social networks block the accounts of people who are bothering you on the Internet. Another option is to avoid the use of social networks.
Focus on the future and be authentic
Encourage your child to set goals and work towards things that really matter to him rather than getting stuck in negative feelings that can cause bullying. It is important that your child knows that it is not necessary to like everyone and that this is okay.
You should not waste your time or energy trying to please everyone or trying to please other people. Instead, you need to focus on your integrity, being a good friend, and being authentic to those who truly deserve it, whether they are family or friends.
If your child focuses on becoming a better person rather than trying to gain the approval of others, his friendships and good relationships will automatically appear in his life. Trying to adapt or change to fit the expectations of others is never the answer. Your child should know that even if an aggressor attacks him, the problem is with the aggressor and not with him. Bullying is about the bully's poor choice. It is not an indicator that there is something wrong with the victim.
Real friendships
There is an old saying that people become like the ones they spend the most time with. Encourage your child to think about the people in his life who get the most of his time and attention. Tell him to reflect on how those friends make him feel and ask him if those friends are supportive, if he can trust them. Then tell him to delete from his friends anyone who is not a good friend or who shows no real interest in him.
The value of responsibility
If your child is stuck in the routine of blaming others for how they feel bad or for their unhappiness, then they are handing over control of their life to others. But if your child learns to take responsibility for their feelings and hold the bully accountable for the bullying, they will feel like they have more control in their life. This responsibility also builds confidence and a strong sense of self. This will help you learn to accept responsibility for the things you have the power to change ... and to differentiate from those things for which he can do nothing.