Being overprotective with children has its consequences. All parents want to protect their children, it is something instinctive. We want them not to suffer, not to have problems, to be healthy, to feel loved and for their needs to be covered. But when we cross the border and overprotect we are doing them no favors children even with the best of intentions. Their correct emotional development is at stake. Let's see what are the consequences of overprotection.
Overprotection
It is one thing to protect and quite another to overprotect. To protect is to ensure that our children have all their physical and emotional needs covered. Instead overprotecting is solving their problems and mistakes, making decisions for them, anticipating any need they may have.
Children need to make mistakes, fall, get up, set goals, fail, and succeed. What life itself has been. They must know what the low moments are so that they know how to manage and overcome them.
It is necessary to face the problems of life
Traumatic events leave their mark on us and we can carry them throughout our lives. But facing day-to-day problems, in addition to the fact that we cannot avoid them, are necessary to be able to learn to manage them. We cannot put a bubble in our children so that they do not suffer the consequences, or do not have to face the difficulties of life. If you are always taking chestnuts out of the fire he will never learn to do it himself.
Parents cannot and should not avoid the difficulties of life for our children, but what we can do is offer them tools so that they can face them. Without them they will feel insecure, fragile and will not accept their consequences. When you have the resources to face life, if you know how to do it. But if we remove all the stones from the road, those resources will not have them and they will be emotionally lame.
Thanks to the problems, they will know how to interpret the risks and consequences of the events, they will increase their self-esteem and self-control, they will know how to assess possible solutions, they will assume their responsibilities and have greater confidence in themselves. Namely, thanks to being able to face life's problems, your emotional development will improve. So even if you have the best intentions in the world to overprotect your child, the only thing you are achieving is that he does not develop properly. Let's see what are the consequences of overprotection.
Aftermath of overprotection
- Inability to solve problems. How are they going to know how to solve them and face them if their parents are always there to solve them? Dependency, low self-confidence, and low self-esteem will increase.
- Problems of adaptation. Faced with problems, he can behave in an indifferent, aggressive or negative way. As they have not learned to face unpleasant situations, they do not know how to manage their emotions either.
- They do not take into account the consequences of their actions. Their parents have been to clean up their faults and mistakes, how are they going to learn to assume their behaviors? They will blame others for their mistakes and failures. There is no other way than assuming the consequences of their actions, and overprotected children do not know how to do it.
- They are vulnerable, fearful and manipulable. They will not have their own opinions so they will be easily manipulated and dependent. They are also usually shy and introverted.
- Insecure and immature children. They have not gained in security or in their decisions, their own reflections and actions. They have not been able to do it because their parents did it for them. They will have a hard time making decisions and will prefer that other people do it for them.
- Low self-esteem and emotional dependence. Self-esteem is related to the feeling of worth, of confidence, of security in oneself. If these skills have not been worked on, they have not been able to be developed, leaving low self-esteem and emotional dependence. They will depend on other people to value themselves and to decide for them.
- Tendency to depression and anxiety. Especially when reaching adolescence. Time of changes and insecurities, added to low resources before life creates important emotional problems.
Because remember ... we are responsible as parents for the correct emotional development of our children. There is a lot at stake, if you think you are not doing well ask for professional help to guide you.