In abandonment in children it produces indelible sequelae, especially if they occur in the early stages of their development. Lack of care and displays of affection is considered abandonment. What happens in the first years of our life will mark our beliefs, memories, memory and how we interpret reality.d. It does not matter if the child is still very young or not, the information is stored even if it is unconscious. Let's see what are the consequences of abandonment in childhood.
How does abandonment affect children?
Abandonment affects many areas of development in the smallests. It is not only about physical abandonment by one of the parents, but also that it can feel abandoned by being physically but not attending to their needs. An authoritarian father, a mother who does not listen to the needs of her son, a demanding father or a mother who puts her relationship ahead of her son. It is a heartbreaking situation for any child. The psychological consequences associated with the abandonment of children are very serious. Let's see what they are:
- It affects their social and emotional development. The hurt of abandonment is reflected in relationships with others. If the person who should give us his unconditional love abandons us, establishing healthy relationships will tell us more. Will be insecure adults with feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. The fear of abandonment will be present and this lack will be very difficult to fill.
- Fear of rejection. Just as the fear of abandonment is present, the fear of rejection will affect your relationships throughout your life. So as not to repeat the feeling of abandonment of his childhood it will cost you to establish stable relationships when he becomes an adult so as not to feel vulnerable. It will be difficult for you to trust others, you will feel insecure and also make decisions.
- Sense of responsibility. Children do not understand what is happening and blame themselves for the departure of their paternal or maternal referent. They believe that it is their fault for something wrong they have done, and they feel responsible.
- Dependent personality. They need and seek the approval and recognition of others. They can choose the tyrant role not to expose themselves and have control, or they can also opt for the victim role. They tend to give a lot to receive a lot, and when they don't get it they get frustrated.
- Feeling of not being worthy of being loved. When you do not feel entitled to be loved, you usually boycott relationships where it may seem otherwise. They will not know how to manage the feelings received and will perceive them as vulnerability to future abandonment.
- Psychomotor retardation. In studies in children who had been in orphanages with lack of physical and emotional care, and a higher proportion of cases of autism in these children and psychomotor delays in children and adolescents between 6-15 years were found. This delay was compensated for as an adult, but instead more emotional problems appeared.
- Affects your idea of family. Although we are too young to remember it, what we are experiencing is kept in our minds. From our experiences and experiences, they will shape our beliefs and ways of interpreting situations.
The trace of the trauma
Not all children who had been abandoned by their father, mother or both necessarily have all these consequences. Not all of us express and suffer pain in the same way, although there will always be a trace of the trauma.
The wounds of abandonment in children are difficult to heal. With therapy with a specialist, you can treat damaged self-esteem, work on self-worth, associated negative beliefs, free yourself from the past, express your feelings and emotions, and alleviate emotional damage. It won't erase all the damage suffered by neglect, but you can learn to live with it.
Because remember ... children need love and care from their parents or people of reference. In case of not receiving it, the damage will be for life.