Are the needs of boys cared for differently from girls? It seems that even today there are some thoughts that make it clear that with the education of children it is necessary to be 'harder' so that they do not become spoiled children. It seems that children 'do not cry' and that they must be educated on the basis of this obsolete and traditional thinking. But this is already out of place and it is also a serious mistake.
Anyone who thinks that a baby boy should be allowed to cry because he is a boy or that he should be roughly educated will be in grave horror. Boys and girls alike need good physical and mental health in order to develop properly. They need sensitive care from babies alike, a nurturing of attachment that provides security and protection both physically and emotionally. This will help them get to know each other better, get to know others and have good communication and control skills in the future, as well as empathy, assertiveness or emotional control.
Male children
There is a research : Our Male Children: The Developmental Neurobiology and Neuroendocrinology of Children at Risk, published by Allan N. Schore shows how parents should care about their children equally, but we should even take special care with boys since it seems that in our current society they are treated more harshly in a 'normal' way.
The vulnerability of children
Boys mature more slowly than girls, in all respects. In addition, they are more vulnerable and can be affected by stress from pregnancy. Instead, Girls have other internal defense mechanisms towards stress and are more capable of being resilient than boys.
Children are more vulnerable to their mother's emotions when they are in the womb, to parental stress, to separation from the mother at birth, when they are not properly cared for ... This can generate emotional disorders that affect their brain development , affecting their emotions, self-control, empathy or relationships with others.
Furthermore, baby boys are able to show higher levels of frustration than girls and even show more aggressive reactions to non-positive stimuli. Boys seem to be more demanding than girls and that is why they have more problems regulating their emotional states, something that will make them need more guidance and support from their parents, to understand their emotions and seek better action and emotional regulation solutions. .
The study data
It seems that children are more vulnerable to neuropsychiatric disorders that can occur in the early stages of development, thus enhancing autism, schizophrenia, ADHD or behavior disorders in the future. This has been increasing for a few decades until today, taking into account data where children have been enrolled in nursery schools early because of their parents' work or personal reasons, having a separation from their attachment figure and also, suffering stress early.
The brain maturation of the child, therefore, needs the mother as an attachment figure and to help him control himself emotionally, she needs your affection and above all, this is necessary for good brain maturation and successful social and emotional development.
Brain differences
It is not new that boys and girls have different brain development and that is why some differences can be understood in the social and emotional spheres in boys and girls. Let's say that these differences are genetically programmed, but that in addition, the social environment also has a direct impact on them since human beings are beings who adapt to the environment. ThereforeIt is important to keep in mind that both boys and girls need attachment nurturing in order to grow successfully, but that the education of children needs a certain extra sensitivity so that they are able to regulate their own emotions in the future and thus have a good social-emotional development.
Care in the early stages of life
Boys (and girls) need their parents to rely on attachment nurturing as well as positive discipline so that boys (and girls) are able to regulate their emotions and understand others as well. They will also be able to grow with confidence in themselves, with greater awareness of action, as well as a good self-esteem and a well-developed personality. On the other hand, if children grow up with abuse and attachment trauma, the little ones will believe with stress and negative consequences on their mental health that can even lead to emotional disorders.
The slower maturation of children's brains will be even more vulnerable to environmental stress and need sensitive compensation to balance social and emotional functions. They need a secure attachment during their brain development, the first three years of the child's life being the keys to good social-emotional development. Likewise, emotional regulation strategies should be modeled and taught throughout life.
The importance of emotions
Children do cry, and they should. Children must also understand their own emotions in order to understand those of others. They must put words to what they feel and their parents are their greatest guides to do so. A child does not have to behave aggressively in order to have greater social acceptance, the roughest children are not the best.
A child needs emotional regulation so that he can develop properly and that his feelings are taken into account since they arrive in this world. The upbringing and education of children must be accompanied by an extra sensitivity, so that they learn empathy, assertiveness, and self-control. and thus, have greater confidence and security in themselves, thus enhancing good self-esteem and emotional regulation. Children must understand that aggressiveness is not the best path for proper communication.
Hello María José, it is very important to talk about this topic, because unfortunately, and as you say in the post, there are still many erroneous beliefs about the upbringing and education of boys. They are still treated much more rudely than girls, they try not to express their emotions ... and that only leads to great confusion, and in the worst case to emotional disorders. I have a boy and a girl, and now that the first is a teenager, I see how the pressure of the environment confuses him and makes it difficult for him to find himself, fortunately at home he finds the understanding he needs.
A abrazo.