I remember as if it were yesterday some words (very wise to me) that my mother said to me when I was in the third grade: «daughter, whatever grades you get, don't forget that above the number you are a person. And people are more than a grade for a subject. This week, the teachers give the students the bulletin with the school grades. A week that for some creates anxiety, stress, fear and rejection.
A part of society (more than many of us would like) is obsessed with the approved and the failed. With the nines and with the eights. There are teachers who only give importance to school grades and that is the basis for their dealings with students. In other words, if a student has obtained a ten he is a brilliant student, while a student who has obtained a four and a half is not so brilliant and does not deserve so much attention.
But what can we say about the reactions of fathers and mothers?
Well, like everything in life, there is everything. There are families that get angry because their children have failed one and proceed to punish them for "bad school grades" (curiously, the bad reactions of parents is on many occasions what causes anxiety, discomfort and overwhelm of students) . And there are families who dialogue with children or young people, who communicate assertively with them, listen to them and try to understand them.
Precisely, in today's post it occurred to me to talk about the reactions that should not be had when seeing the school grades of the students and child compared to those that should be had. Let's go for it!
Educating in fear does not work
What I mean by this? Well, there are parents and teachers who threaten "Well, if you don't pass all the subjects, you're going to repeat the year." "Well, if you approve everything you will have more gifts" "Well, I'll see if you've been studying when you bring your school grades" "Well, if you have a subject left, we're going to get very angry with you." Those phrases are threats. Threats that make students learn forcedly and not voluntarily. Threats that, as I said before, create anxiety, discomfort and overwhelm in children and young people.
However, if families and teachers forget about these threats, we can get them to student learning flows actively, without fear and without any pressure. It is about supporting students and children in their journey, not about putting more obstacles in their first fall.
Yelling and getting angry over school grades is not the solution
There are parents (and also teachers) who get angry with students and children for having gotten bad school grades. What's going on? Who scream and speak badly. In this way, students become frustrated, disappointed in themselves, saddened, and highly doubtful of their abilities and capabilities. Namely, They lose confidence in themselves, their self-esteem lowers and the positive energy they could have before is gradually diminishing.
If parents and teachers maintain assertive communication and dialogue, a positive attitude and active listening, both students and children will feel safe, comfortable, relaxed and free from anxiety. It is time to support students to improve and to foster their spirit of improvement. Personally, I believe that with anger and yelling absolutely nothing is achieved other than creating unnecessary discomfort and a tense school and family climate.
Focusing solely on one number is a mistake
School grades always evaluate a single aspect and simply two intelligences: the intellectual and the logical-mathematical and linguistic intelligences. In educational centers, the emotional-social and personal side of students should be taken into account and also the rest of the intelligences to fully train the students.
When I go around educational forums or listen to conversations from some parents, I almost always come across this phrase: "well, if you got a seven in math and a four in art education, nothing happens." In this way, you are putting students and children in a bag of obsession for unbelievable grades. What's more, giving more importance to one subject than another seems to me personally a mistake.
However, if students and children are aware of the support of parents and teachers and know that they are people and not just numbers of school grades, They will have more motivation to strive to do better, their self-esteem will remain balanced, and their self-concept will not become poor.
Base learning on school grades
"You haven't learned anything by getting a four!" "I see that you have understood everything because you got an eight!" On many occasions, I have had to listen to those phrases. Really, Getting a ten or a nine does not assure parents and teachers that students and children have learned since memorization and repetition are the order of the day. In fact, there are quite a few students who say that after a week they forget what they have learned.
The most appropriate thing would be to encourage active and meaningful learning in the classroom. And above all, not to believe that by getting a good grade the student has understood everything perfectly. Parents in turn should not be obsessed as much with what they can find in school notes. Keep in mind that neither exams nor grades fully evaluate students. Therefore, if there is any suspense in the report card, do not get nervous or upset. We must not forget that both children and young people are learning and each learning rhythm is different and unique.. You just have to try to respect that.