I just gave birth and I feel sad. What's happening to me?
The delivery is over, we have our son or daughter in our arms, everything has come out to order and around us everyone is happy and only sees reasons for celebration. However, we are not so clear about it. We are tired, exhausted, we feel somewhat sad and nobody understands what is happening to us. But is normal? What's happening to us has many explanations.
After childbirth, a period of change and learning begins. It's a necessary time to get to know, adapt to, and learn how to care for our baby. It's a time of change in every aspect of life. It's a vulnerable period, a time of emotional instability and physical fragility in which fears appear, insecurities and doubts related to baby care, about our parenting skills… We need to give ourselves time to get to know each other and adapt to the family change we've just experienced. And we have to understand that a change in our family model It's stressful enough in any situation, so how could it not be when we welcome our child who needs us for everything?!
On the other hand, until now we felt the baby inside us, we communicated with him through his movements, caressing him through our skin, talking to him, singing to him… And that feeling of having our child inside us is something incomparable now that he has been born We miss you very muchso much so that sometimes the feeling of pérdida It is so intense that we may find it difficult to recognize our own child in the baby we are now holding in our arms.
Sometimes also our expectations They are too unrealistic, and we dream of a perfect birth and an ideal baby, but the birth may not have been so perfect, and we may have difficulty understanding the baby. adapt to a new being who depends for everything on us, whose needs limit our life and mark our day to day.
Nor can we forget that we have gone through pregnancy and childbirth, we are tired and will surely have anemiaSo it's normal not to have much energy.
Postpartum blues or maternity blues: what it is and how long it lasts
La postpartum blues (also called baby blues or maternity bluesThis is a very common experience in the first few days after birth. It usually appears around the second or third day and it can last a few days to two weeksDuring this period it is common to notice humor changes, urge to cry, mild anxiety, irritability, difficulty sleeping and feeling overwhelmed.
These changes are due to a combination of hormones in sharp decline, physical exhaustion of pregnancy and childbirth, and the adaptation to a new role and intense responsibilities. The most characteristic thing about the baby blues is that It resolves spontaneously and it does not significantly alter self-esteem or the ability to enjoy small moments.
During these days it may feel strange not to feel an immediate connection with the baby. This is also within the realm of what is expected: a bond is built with contact, time and daily care.
Differences between postpartum blues and postpartum depression
It is important Distinguishing the baby blues from postpartum depressionwhich is more intense and longer-lasting. While postpartum blues improve within a few days, postpartum depression persists and it can begin in the first weeks, months, or even occur within the first year after birth.
Signs that point to postpartum depression if they appear with relevant intensity and duration: depressed mood Most of the day, frequent crying, difficulty bonding with the babysocial isolation, marked changes in appetite, insomnia or hypersomniaextreme fatigue, loss of interest in activities, intense irritability or anger, continued fear of not being a “good mother”, feelings of fault or uselessnessdifficulty concentrating or making decisions, anxiety noticeable or panic attacks, and thoughts of harm to oneself or to the baby.
When postpartum depression is left untreated, it can last for many months. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but an essential step towards recovery. watch over you and take care of your baby.
Postpartum psychosis: a rare warning sign
Postpartum psychosis is rare, but it constitutes a urgencia of mental health. It usually appears in the first week after childbirth and manifests as confusion and disorientation, delusional ideas or hallucinations, obsessive thoughts about the baby, severe sleep problems, intense agitation and paranoia. Requires Inmediate attention.
Causes that explain what you feel
There is no single cause. After childbirth, there is a marked drop in... estrogens and progesteroneand other hormones, such as thyroid hormones, can also fluctuate. This hormonal fluctuation, combined with the sleep deprivationPhysical pain and the demands of caring for a newborn contribute to mood swings.
In the mother's brain, circuits related to the sensitivity to baby's signalsThis is adaptive for parenting. Added to this are contextual factors (support, employment and economic situationfamily dynamics) and emotional (identity changes, feelings of loss of freedomunrealistic expectations) that can amplify the experience.
Risk factors to consider
You can experience postpartum blues or postpartum depression even without risk factors. However, the likelihood increases if there are. personal or family history of depression, Bipolar disorder or previous postpartum depression; if you have experienced stressful events recent; if there were obstetric complications; if the baby has health problemsIf there are difficulties with breastfeeding, multiple pregnancy, little support network, relationship problems or financial pressure; or if the pregnancy was unplanned or unwanted.
These factors are not determining factors. Many women with some of them experience a stable postpartum period when they have adequate supports and professional follow-up.
When to seek professional help
Contact with you matrona, family doctor or obstetrician if:
- Sadness, anxiety, or discomfort They don't improve after two weeks.
- Symptoms they get worse or they prevent you from taking care of the baby or yourself.
- Ideas emerge from self-harm or causing harm to the baby.
- Notes marked confusion, hallucinations or strange ideas.
If at any time you have thoughts of death or of doing harm, seek help. urgent help: notify a trusted person to look after the baby and call the emergency services in your country or go to the nearest emergency department.
Treatments and support that work
In selected cases and under medical judgment, there are specific drugs for the postpartum depressionWhichever option you choose, it's crucial to carry out pursuit narrow and adjust the plan to your needs, your context, and your preferences.
The other parent may also feel this way
Parents and other caring partners may present postpartum depressionSadness, exhaustion, anxiety, changes in sleep and appetite. They are at greater risk if they are young, with background depression, relationship conflicts, or financial difficulties. Detecting and treating it protects the relationship and the baby's development.
Prevention and self-care in the postpartum period
If you have a history of depression or postpartum depression, inform your healthcare professional so they can arrange treatment. screening Early detection and preventive support. During pregnancy and after childbirth, systematic screening helps to act quicklyTaking care of the basics also makes a difference: fragmented but prioritized rest, eating sufficient hydration and rest periods.
My advice
- Understand that you have just gone through a pregnancy and childbirth, it is logical that you are tired and in poor shape, rest what you can and do not demand to be one "Supermom". Ask for help
- Delegation In other people, all the tasks that you do not have to do, breastfeeding the baby is already demanding enough.
- Control the visitsPossibly you will not be in a position to organize them but your partner will surely be. Everyone will want to go to meet the newborn and sometimes, more than a pleasant company they become a reason for fatigue and added stress.
- Take care. Eat properly and don't skip any meals.
- Drink plenty of fluids, you should be fine hydrated to cope with breastfeeding.
- Dedicate some time each day to yourself personal careIf you look good, you'll be doing your part to improve your mood sooner.
- Dress up and go for a walk As soon as you can, the open air and the sun help us to find ourselves better.
- Share the tasks and care of the baby with your partner, it is important that both of you become aware of the change in your way of life that the arrival of the baby implies and the father will be your great ally for breeding.
- Pact With your partner a free time for each of you, it is important that both of you can rest from the feeling of being "mom" or "dad" full time. You can organize a "free afternoon" a week for each one, or just half an hour each day to read a book or surf the net ...
- Consult with your midwife and your doctor to evaluate your condition and the needs to give you a vitamin supplement.
- Take time to adapt to the new situation, it is normal that, at times, you feel overwhelmed by circumstances.
- Sign up for some postpartum courseIn your Health Center you will find infant massage workshops, postpartum recovery courses or breastfeeding support groups. In all of them you will find other moms who will understand your emotional state and your problems very well because something similar happens to them.
- Try to ignore the Reviews that everyone around you will give you, you will see that everyone seems to know what to do at all times, but they are only their experiences and opinions and they do not have to serve you, when you have a problem better consult with a specialist .
- And remember that the state of puerperal sadness It is normal after childbirth, but it should not be very long-lasting, in a few days you will begin to notice little by little that the episodes of dejection are less and less and you begin to have more moments of tranquility, if not, consult your doctor, no let it pass.
- Organized by postpartum checkups Early consultations with your healthcare professional to review mood, rest, and breastfeeding; the sooner it is detected, the sooner action can be taken.
- If symptoms last longer than two weeks or interfere with your daily life, ask for helpPostpartum depression is treated and improves.
- Remember that your partner may also need Emotional SupportSharing care and talking about how you feel reduces family stress.
You're going through an intense and transformative time; feeling sad, irritable, or confused can be part of adjusting. Asking for support, resting when you can, nourishing yourself, and seeking help if you notice any warning signs are decisions that protect your well-being. mental health and strengthen the bonding with your babyYou are not alone: there are resources, treatments, and a community ready to support you.
