Sometimes when we become parents we want to give everything that we did not have as children. This gesture that seems unconditional love can turn against us and that of our children. Allowing them to do whatever they want and have anything just by asking is doing our children a disservice. We comment on the risks of spoiling children.
Permissive parents, spoiled children
Nobody teaches us to be parents, and in that mission e intention of wanting to give the best to our children we can get lost along the way without realizing it. That is why I wanted to make this post so that parents can analyze themselves in their role as parents, see what their behaviors are with respect to their children and how they want to educate them.
In another post I was already talking about a trend that is booming, which is the protective parents or also called hyperparents. They are parents who with all their good intention, overprotect their children, preventing them from getting frustrated, assuming their mistakes, taking care of their things, fulfilling their obligations, making decisions ... spoiled children with no resources for life. You can read the full article in this link.
Risks of spoiling children
The fact that we allow children to always get their own way or to get everything they want instantly and effortlessly takes a toll on their development. It is not pleasant to see our son cry or kick when he wants something, and the easiest way to end the tantrum would be to give him what he wants, but you have to know the risks that it brings.
The children who are spoiled They do not know how to value things, they get frustrated very easily, they do not know how to face life problems, lack of management in their emotions, they are intolerant and disrespectful, authoritarian, self-centered, with little empathy, self-esteem problems, aggressive, prone to anxiety and depression. By not facing the "no", when they jump into real life they do not know how to face it, they don't understand why they can't have what they want like when they were little.
Considering the results of spoiling children is very important to analyze our parenting style. Children need to have limits set by adults, which must be respected. To prevent him from suffering is to mark a lifetime of suffering. There is a different way to educate, with much better results for your present and your future.
Educate from love but with limits
It is possible to educate from the deepest love and with limits. Give them tools so that they learn to manage their emotions and express them in a positive way. What they learn to make decisions and assume the consequences. Let them face their mistakes to know how to fix them.
This will allow them to gain in autonomy, self-esteem, security, independence and empathy. When you love someone you want the best for that person, and towards our children love is the greatest. Giving him everything so that he does not suffer, does not get frustrated or because we did not have so many facilities, is to turn him into a despot and tyrant.
We must see what education we want to give our children and how we are educating them. If they are not tuned we will have to re-educate ourselves ourselves so as not to transmit our doubts, fears and insecurities. We will be depriving them of a healthy development, without resources or good attitudes. Going through uncomfortable situations is the learning that we need from a young age to learn to manage emotions and express them appropriately.
In the article "How to respectfully handle tantrums" We left you some keys to not lose your nerves in these situations. On many occasions for the show to end we have the impulse to satisfy their desires, but there is another, more appropriate way of actuality.
Because remember ... you can show love equally and better without giving all the facilities to your child. Otherwise they will be lost as people in real life.