The term "high demand baby" may have surprised you on more than one occasion. However, we will understand immediately if We define them as creatures that demand more attention from us than the rest, who cry a lot and in a very intense way, which costs a lot to calm them down and generally, they hardly allow us to rest.
We must understand that not all babies are the same, just as no one person has a similar behavior. Each of your children can be very different from each other, so much so that even you are surprised by yourself. However, high demand babies always put a high level of stress on mothers. We do not know what they want, what happens to them ... And this can be exhausting. In «Mothers Today» we want to give you some guidelines so that you do not "You fail in the attempt"
Characteristic of babies in high demand
As we have pointed out at the beginning, the first thing we must understand is that each baby is going to have needs. The second thing to keep in mind is that babies cry for some reason and the last thing we should do is not attend to them. It is a mistake that can have serious consequences.
If your baby cries a lot, do not hesitate to go to the pediatrician for diagnosis and guidance. It is necessary to rule out any physical problem. Once it is clarified that our child does not suffer from any disease, that receives the right food and that grows as it should, it is also necessary to know the characteristics that define babies with high demand:
- Intensity: Everything that our baby does is done at great "intensity." Their cries are not soft, but rise up like real "sirens" that scare you, that sometimes break your heart wondering what will happen to them. When they get angry they do it in the same way: intense, breaking things, throwing objects ...
- Hyperactivity: his restlessness is very characteristic. They rarely stop still, and this can be seen in their difficulty in falling asleep, in not wanting to take naps, in wanting to touch everything, in realizing many aspects that surround them ...
- Contact need: the high demand baby will need you at all times. He may find relief when he is in your arms, but it is to put him back in the crib and start crying desperately. You have the feeling that you cannot separate yourself from him. And that generates anxiety, worry ...
- They suckle frequently: Do you get the impression that they never seem satiated? They are babies who appreciate that moment, which relaxes them a lot and that always comes in handy that moment when you breastfeed or bottle them.
- They wake up every moment: you could almost keep track of the number of times he wakes up during the night. And that is something you notice since he came from the hospital, since he was born. They are children who sleep at intervals and never "on the flip side."
- Dissatisfied and unpredictable: Anything you do to distract or relax them doesn't seem to have an effect. They get bored almost instantly and you never know what reaction they will have. It is very difficult for you to go out for a walk with them, they tend to attract a lot of attention with their tears, with their sudden tantrums ...
- Hypersensitive: sometimes you find that the simple touch of clothing makes them cry. Noises wake them up instantly and they also have a hard time accepting new flavors in their meals. They have a "hypersensitivity" that encompasses much of the areas of everyday life.
- Sensitive to separation: this aspect is very common and is something that many mothers tend to suffer from. They not only notice and react if you decide to leave them in daycare, or with other people. The simple fact of putting them to bed at night and turning off the light implies that they immediately demand your presence again.
Parenting Strategies for High Demand Babies
The first aspect that we must be clear about is that we are not to blame for anything. Many mothers come to believe that if their children demand so much of them it is because there is something they are not doing well. And it is not like that, it is necessary that we eliminate this restlessness from our mind, or the stress and anxiety that we suffer will be greater.
To do this, you need to take these tips into account.
- Your son has no problem: his emotional intensity works in another tune.
- High demand kids want it all, and everything gets their attention. They see the world in a more intense way because they are more emotional. And that's not bad, properly managed can bring good benefits.
- A child with more emotions is a child more interested in his surroundings. High demand is sometimes associated with high capabilities.
- What they need is that we know how to understand them and not intensify their negative emotions even more.. If he cries, never yell at him or you will transform that demand of the baby to capture your attention into fear, and fear into mistrust.
- Offer him security and understand that your child feels the day differently. He fears that you will abandon him, he feels the lights, the noises more intensely ... Fear and emotion combine in him in the same way.
Offer calm and manage negative emotions
If a child is restless, if he cries often, if he has unpredictable reactions, The last thing we have to do is also transmit our stress and anxiety to them. Children, believe it or not, are very sensitive to our own emotions.
- An angry face, dry words and raised voices generate in them the same anxiety, and even fear and insecurity. The most important thing is to always act calmly, serenity and with that affection that knows how to set limits.
- Faced with an inappropriate reaction, such as throwing an object or pulling your hair, he points out that what he has done is not right. You must understand it, and in the face of bad reactions there are no concessions. Don't laugh or overlook it, otherwise they may use negative reactions next time to get your attention.
Children with high demands require a lot of stimulation
High demand baby is overwhelmed by emotions, and one way to channel them is by developing your curiosity. Any new activity can be a strategy to manage your concern, your sensory demand ...
- So keep in mind that it is very possible that they will get bored of a particular thing in a very short time, so instead of "buying a lot of toys" use manual things that grab their attention and are of course safe.
- Give him new learning opportunities, let him watch you cook in a safe place, let him water the plants, plant seeds, make him feel like a home, and safely and carefully let him explore.
Children with high demands need stimulation and your hand as a guide to explore the world.
Take care of their needs but without neglecting yours
A baby with high demands requires a lot of our time, and therefore, we need to know how to set priorities. Now, never neglect yourself, because otherwise, if you are not well, you will not be able to provide the happiness and security that children need.
- Share responsibilities with your partner.
- Evita those people who somehow transmit even more stress to us on a day-to-day basis. It is common, for example, that other mothers do not point out that "But what a crybaby your son is, is he still not doing this and that? Isn't there something you're not doing right?" ... These types of comments are harmful and increase anxiety, so avoid these relationships as much as possible.
Enjoy your personal moments, do not put aside your hobbies, and understand, that your baby will grow and that day by day he will be more autonomous. If you offer him security, attention and encouragement, he will be a child with great interests who will feel good and with a good self-esteem to discover the world.