When our babies are born, our maternal instincts ask us to be with them. The benefits of attachment to newborns are many; from preventing sudden infant death to forging the bond between parents and children. As our children grow, the opposite begins to be practiced with them. Detachment is common in the adolescent stage and carries the same damage as in the baby stage.
Young people go through changes in their brain structure just like young children. In addition, sex hormones start to do their thing and they often have more visceral behaviors than when they were children. Still, it is necessary to continue practicing attachment with them; It should not be confused with overprotection, since the latter has negative consequences.
Communication
One of the most important and difficult things with teens is communicating with them. As a general rule, they are people who believe they have the absolute truth of everything and who rarely listen to reasons. This happens even in the best families. Our duty as parents is to know how to listen to them and learn from the beginning of their life to understand them.
We cannot claim an attachment after the age of 13 or so if nothing of the kind has been done for the rest of his life. Parents want to be more on top of our children when they grow up, to know what they do, who they hang out with and where they are going. It would be easier if from the beginning an affective bond is established through attachment with the baby, so that when he is a teenager he will trust us as parents and above all as people.
Feelings
From the beginning of our son's life it is necessary to show him and show him everything we feel for him. Our children need to know that they are loved; Although it seems quite logical, they need us to tell them. It's more than okay to talk openly about our feelings with them from a young age. This will make it easier for them to open up to us tomorrow and we can help them.
It is quite common for adolescents to "lock themselves" into their inner world in which either everything is black or everything is white. We must help them, as we do with our young children, to understand the world around them. It is necessary to accompany them in life so that they are formed as useful adults.
With a baby and a teenager at home
When it is the case that a newborn and a newly released teenager live in the same house at this stage, a lot of patience is needed on the part of the parents. It is necessary to involve, but not force, the young person with the upbringing of the smallest. Also with his new little brother, apart from a responsibility as an older brother, he will have an example to follow in you on the day that I had to take care of his own baby.
This is why we should not forget the young adolescent and give him the same affection as our youngest son. Not because he is older, his feelings towards us change; we are still someone very important to them. We are still the same people who years ago sheltered them at night, fed them and cried when they got sick.
We have to give them the love they need. Starting from birth is a good step to continue practicing something so beneficial for health, both physical and mental, as is the attachment between parents and children.
And if you think that your child has strayed too far from you despite your efforts, perhaps you should look for key moments to try to open up to you and tell you what may happen to him. Hormonal changes in adolescents can lead to a depression. These depressions are just as important as those that can be suffered as an adult and should not be overlooked.