Children and not only children feel the need to fit in and in order to be accepted they follow the norms established by the group. It is what is known as peer pressure in children, a phenomenon to which we are all exposed and that can have negative consequences if we do not teach the little ones to identify and confront it.
Being a child is not easy, although most of us tend to feel a certain nostalgia for that stage. being a teenager neither is it; the need to fit in It can contribute to unwanted or even dangerous behaviors. That is why it is important as parents to be attentive to the signs, to the behavioral changes of the little ones and to provide them with the necessary tools to face peer pressure in a positive way.
What is peer pressure?
Peer pressure is the influence that the majority exerts on us. An influence capable of modifying our thoughts, feelings and behavior. Adolescence is probably the stage that has the most strength, however, it is not exclusive to adolescents, but rather accompanies us throughout our lives, since it comes from the need that human beings have to fit in. From the tendency we have to adapt to the norm to avoid censorship or disapproval from our peers.
How does peer pressure influence children and adolescents?
Peer pressure in children manifests itself in different ways and can influence both positively and negatively. And this is what worries us since, often, adapting to the behaviors of the reference group hinders critical thinking of the child or adolescent.
The need to feel accepted leads children and adolescents to behave as the group directly or indirectly demands of them, without thinking about the nature of what they do nor in the consequences. And not only that, but by acting on behalf of a group they transfer personal responsibility to it.
By supuesto peer pressure is not always negative. A group can have a positive impact on a child's routine, expanding their interests and inviting them to live new experiences that are positive. And even among what we consider negative consequences, there are different levels of dangerousness in terms of the actions and attitudes that precede them.
How can we help a child cope?
To help your child cope with peer pressure, the first step is boost your self-esteem and trust and establish empathetic communication so that they feel safe to talk about their concerns, insecurities and fears.
It is also important that from a young age we give them the opportunity to give their opinion and make decisions according to your age. Defending your position before others is a skill that will allow you to relate in a healthy way with your peers.
Furthermore, to face this problem of social pressure there are different techniques that we can teach them so that they have tools to get out of situations where we experience this pressure and feel tempted to accept something that they do not share. They are the following:
- scratched record technique. The objective of this technique is to persist in our intention, without justifying ourselves or making excuses. When we are dealing with people who are very insistent and do not listen to arguments, the ideal is to repeat the same phrase until our position is clear. A phrase like "I understand that you want to... but I don't want to", "I understand that you like it... but I prefer..."
- Sandwich technique. This technique is used to make criticisms and consists of expressing the negative point and criticism between positive aspects of the people to whom the criticism is directed. Thus, the ideal is to start the speech with something that we liked, we will continue with what we want to change and we will end with another positive message or proposal. For example: “I have a great time playing soccer with you, but I would like for us to try new plans one day. I'm sure we'll come up with something cool together." "I like to party with you, but I don't need to drink to have fun, it's always good to have someone 100% for the group." "You are very clever, but you don't need to laugh at X to show it, because you don't use it to get..."