If you are a parent concerned about bullying, it is very important that you first recognize what the signs are whether your child is a victim or an aggressor. This is very important in order to know how to act. Being vigilant and observant is essential, as victims often do not want to report what is happening to them.
Many victims do not inform their parents or teachers because they feel shame or humiliation for being bullied. Being alert is essential since victims may not say anything, they may assume that adults are going to accuse them of accusing or they will tell them to solve it because they are 'children's things', but no, They are not children's things. Some victims believe that there is nothing adults can do to get the abuser to stop.
Of course, bullies do not tell their parents or teachers about their misdeeds ... they are not going to say that they are making life miserable for a child and they will always deny their participation in acts of this kind. For this reason, It is essential that both educational professionals and parents are attentive.
Signs that your child is a victim
- He comes from school with torn clothes
- School supplies are lost or broken
- Wounds or blows appear
- You have headaches or stomachaches -or other symptoms-
- You don't want to go the same way to school
- Has nightmares or cries
- Loses interest in school
- Are sad or depressed
- Have mood swings
- It seems that he has few or no friends
Signs that your child is an aggressor
- Has a strong need to dominate and subdue others
- He asserts himself with the power and threats to get what he wants
- Intimidates your siblings or children in the neighborhood
- Flaunts real or imagined superiority over other children
- They are usually quick-tempered, easily angered, impulsive, and have a low tolerance for frustration
- Has difficulty complying with rules and adversities
- Has aggressive and defiant oppositional behavior towards adults, including teachers and parents
- Has antisocial or criminal behavior (such as theft or vandalism)
- Does not give importance to school things
What can the victim's parents do?
If you know or suspect that your child is being bullied but they don't seem to know anything about it at school, then you should contact your child's teacher directly immediately. Keep in mind that your goal is to get the school's cooperation to stop the bullying your child is experiencing.
Even if you are emotionally affected by the situation, it is important that you get the cooperation of the school without putting on any emotional show. Even if you want those involved in bullying to be severely punished, what matters more than punishment is that bullying is stopped as soon as possible.
Attitude and actions
- Listen to your son
- Be understanding and take the problem seriously. Don't overreact or underreact
- Don't blame the victim
- Your home is a haven, let it feel good
- Seek out a psychology professional if you think your child needs one
- Encourage your child to talk to you
- Spend time with your child, give him your support and encouragement on a constant basis. Let him know that you love him often
Teaches safety strategies in children
- Hitting back shouldn't be the advice.
- Encourage your child to stay away and tell an adult whenever he feels that someone might hurt him.
- Talk about safe methods to avoid dangerous situations. For example, find a safe place like a store to find shelter if you are being persecuted, always be accompanied, give them a phone number so they can call whenever they are afraid and ask for help in a bullying situation.
- Teach your child to inform adults about what is happening effectively: what they are doing to him, who is doing it, what he has done to try to solve the problem, what he needs from the adult to stop the aggressor.
- Devise strategies and practice with your child so that he knows what to do and how to act when you are not around him.
Work on good self-esteem
- It is important to educate children about bullying and bullies, help them put the problem in perspective and not take it personally.
- Teach your child to walk down the street safely
- Work with your children on social skills or have a professional help them
- Identify and stimulate your children's talents and their positive attributes
- Encourage your child to make new friends
- A new environment can be a new opportunity
- Provide support and encouragement
- Encourage him to do physical exercise to work on emotional health and relationship with others
When do you have to speak to the authorities?
If bullying occurs at school, then the primary responsibility for achieving this goal rests with the school workers. It is important, however, that the parents of the victim work with the school to implement an agreed plan to resolve the problem.
If your child has been bullied at school, here are some suggestions for reporting the problem to school authorities:
- After talking with your child, but before contacting school personnel, write down the details of the bullying situations.
- Note the dates and names of the children participating. Try to see the situation objectively and determine how serious it is.
- Your child may resist his involvement if he fears retaliation from the bully. If so, explain to your child that most bullying situations require adult intervention to solve the problem. Let him know exactly who is going to talk and to whom.
- Contact school staff to find a solution and end the bullying. First share the problem with the teacher and work together to decide how to address the problem. If the teacher is unable to resolve it, go to the principal and make a formal written request to end the bullying.
- Do not contact the assailant or the assailant's family directly.
- Keep a permanent record of the dates of the most bullying incidents and the actions you take to help your child deal with the bullying. Inform the school of incidents that occur.
- In more serious cases, change your child to school - which he receives before and during psychological care - and go to the police and hire the services of a lawyer.