The social-and commercial-child-phobia movement has established itself strongly throughout this decade. It is in the United Kingdom where it has more repercussion, and what began as a restriction of the entry of parents who went with their babies and their children to bars and restaurants, now, there are already several hotels around the world that launch that tourist offer that for many, is fair and even tempting: «In this hotel you will not see a child, you will not hear their tears, their cries, nor will they bother you at mealtime or at swimmingpool«.
It is something that undoubtedly invites us to a deep reflection. It is clear that when talking about leisure, each company can offer its "product" to that specific audience that they consider as potential. Now, with this type of behavior, it seems that a fuse has been lit and even a reformulation of what "a good father" or "a bad mother" is. It seems as if the crying baby in a restaurant is nothing more than the result of poor parenting, and hence, the eyes are directed with annoyance towards the family. It's something to think about, and in "Mothers Today" we invite you to do so.
Child phobia and the idea of the bad mother
One of the scenarios where child phobia is most evident is in airplanes. We could tell you many cases, but to stay with very illustrative cases on the subject, we will explain two of them. Sarah Blackwood is a well-known singer who had to make a five hour trip to Vancouver. 7 months pregnant and with a 23 month old child, she never imagined what was going to happen to her.
When they had not yet taken off, her son began to cry. Crying was annoying to other travelers, until suddenly someone said that it was "not safe" to fly with that annoying sound for several hours. She took courage in asking the captain to eject her and her son from the plane. The flight attendants also thought it was the best, in fact they approached her with the following words: «You have to calm your son, because this is a threat to the flight. Now, just when they went to check with the captain, the baby stopped crying. He had fallen asleep. And so it was throughout the journey.
Sarah Blackwood was not only terrified but totally shocked at the lack of patience and sensitivity on the part of the company and the travelers. Later, I would publish what happened in various means to denounce what he had experienced.
When we are labeled "bad mothers" because children cry
A child who cries, who laughs, who screams, who plays, who interacts, falls and explores is a happy child that is part of the world and that grows with it. Now, it seems as if in recent years we have fallen into a kind of "adultism" where silent babies are preferred, passive children who attend, are silent and smile.
The worst part of all this is when, somehow, those people who "sin" in adultism can lead a woman to believe that she is a bad mother just because her baby cries. This is what happened to a young woman who explained her experience through the page «Love whats matters".
His partner, a Marine, had been away from home for several months fulfilling his destiny. After so much time alone with her daughter, she thought it was a good idea to spend some time with her parents, even if it meant 6 hours of flying time. Despite this, the effort was worth it. Already on the plane, his girl began to cry, carried by a huff to be held, to see her movements so limited.
His tears began to annoy the entire passage and he soon heard the offensive comments and criticisms. The mother became even more nervous, so much so that she was fully aware that she was losing control and that she was transmitting this anguish to her daughter. Until soon, the miracle worked.
An elderly man asked to sit next to him. Seconds later, he spoke the magic words. "You are a good mother, don't listen." This man took out his electronic tablet and began to show her and her daughter photos of her grandchildren, talking and interacting with both with complete serenity. The baby stopped crying and the 6 hours of travel passed in a sigh.
When this woman arrived at the airport she told that story to her parents through tears. If it hadn't been for that man, the rest of the people with their verbal attacks and their misunderstanding would have traumatized her for life. This is something that should make us think ... How far have we come?
Niñophobia and adultism
It seems as if part of society has reached that level where adultism only seeks inner peace, balance and that lack of consideration where it has ceased to understand what childhood is, what raising a child is. Now let's think about an essential aspect. If the basis of society is families… How are we going to exclude children from our closest contexts?
It is clear that in the tourist offer everyone can choose the option that best suits them, but in our daily life, in bars, restaurants or on airplanes, excluding children as the one who vetoes the entry of animals it is something that stirs our sense of citizenship, of humanity of common sense. Whoever vetoes a child vetoes his family, and even more so, in some way, he is putting up walls and barriers to our own future.
Children will always be that recurring echo in our public spaces, on the beaches, swimming pools and in any means of transport. Instead of frowning and projecting our annoyance to that mother who can't - or won't - shut up her son, let's think about how the situation would change if we got closer and interacted with that family, just as this good man did in the case of the woman who was traveling on the plane.
Adultism is that position where you end up building walls to look at your own navel, your own benefit. It's the "as long as I'm okay" that nobody bothers me. Now, we have to think that we do not live on islands, we live in society, and children are our future. A small show of respect or closeness is enough to change something, to bring light and a positive emotion.
When a child cries on a bus or plane, first attend to the mother and offer her calm. Then give that baby a smile, distract their attention. Believe it or not, it will be something you will always remember ...