School is not only the place to learn to add and subtract, but it is also the space in which the first social relationships are established outside the family. when a child does not integrate with his classmates the first alarms sound. Will it be a matter of time or will we have to take action on the matter?

It is difficult to know when it is a problem that must be addressed and when a period of adaptation during which the little ones will have to develop their skills in order to overcome a certain inertia and be encouraged to establish new bonds and meet friends. There are many issues to take into account to distinguish between one case and the other.

The importance of integration in children

Secondary socialization is essential in the life of every child. We speak of those ties that are outside the bosom of the primary family. Those that mark the lives of the little ones, helping them to solve problems, gain confidence and express their opinions. The social relationships established at school are vital for children's development, both socially and mentally. When this does not happen, you need to pay attention. What happens if my son does not integrate with his classmates?

It is not a question of over worrying but of caring. When a child fails to bond with their schoolmates something may be happening. Sometimes they can be situations external to him. But in others there are attitudes or behaviors of the child himself that can hinder the bond and must be addressed.

There are many reasons why a child may not integrate with peerss. Shyness can be a big factor. Although, there are also shy children who do not present major problems as they are accepted by the group despite their low profile. This is how we can then think that, on the one hand, there is the children's personality when it comes to joining games and activities and, on the other, the nature of the group.

Schoolmates or the child?

The truth is that there are different styles of groups in schools. There are the most democratic and empathetic groups. Who accept differences between peers and welcome different personalities. There are also closed groups, where it is more difficult to accept differences. Another is the case of those groups where there are leaders or children who, in some way, "set the pace" of the course, sentencing those who are different. Either out of shyness or for any other reason. This is where you have to work on the self-esteem of the little ones so that their safety is not affected by children with stronger personalities.

Si tu son does not integrate with his classmates it is important to detect what may be happening. If it is the peer group, if the school notices the problem and takes action. If it is something sudden or a situation that takes a long time. The important thing is to detect the problem as soon as possible because an excluded child can suffer serious problems. In some cases, isolation but in others they can experience marginal situations or even bullying.

When it comes to shy or more introverted children, the problem may not be with the outside but with the child's own difficulty in establishing relationships. This can lead you to feel frustrated. Which in turn can generate a vicious cycle as introversion can cause frustration and anger. And this in turn becomes that the pairs walk away.

Ask for help

In other cases, they are very anxious children or little ones who find it difficult to empathize or give in to their peers. When a child does not have the capacity to accept certain rules or gets angry when things do not go as he wants or expects, it is common for other children to withdraw.

There are different reasons why a child us and integrates with his classmates. The important thing is not to deny reality and talk with the child to discover the problem. It is also possible to speak with teachers and, if deemed necessary, to consult with a psychologist.