According to an interesting study published in the journal Science Daily and carried out in the University of California, The brain structure that governs a large part of our emotions could be inherited from mothers to daughtersNow, does this mean that because we are women we will suffer or face life in the same way our mothers did? Does this study mean that if our mothers suffered from depression, we too will have to navigate these complex emotional processes?
Not necessarily. In biology, medicine, and psychiatry Almost nothing is 100% correlatedTherefore, we must remember one essential word: predispositionThere are possibilities, indeed. Genetics orchestrates many of our attributes in this way, but at the same time, factors such as our social and personal contexts or their own coping strategies that we ourselves develop will allow us to face life in a different way. Daughters are not copies of their mothers, but they do maintain an invisible, lasting, and complex bond. which we want to tell you about in Mothers Today.
The invisible bond between mothers and daughters: beyond genetics
The bond between mother and daughter is biological, psychological, social and symbolicIt's not limited to genes: it includes stories, silences, expectations, grief, and also strengths. From pregnancy to adulthood, this bond goes through phases of dependence, conflict, identification, and separation.
During gestation, the baby perceives the heart ratethe mother's voice and emotional state. After birth, the relationship becomes a almost symbiotic relationship where the mother is a source of nourishment, comfort, and protection. Over the years, this fusion transforms: the daughter needs to build her own identity and separate psychologically from her mother, but without ceasing to feel loved.
This dynamic generates a deeply ambivalent loveAlongside affection and admiration, frustrations, anger, guilt, and a need for distance emerge. Understanding this ambivalence as normal—and not as a failure—helps to view the relationship more realistically and with less blame on both sides.
Furthermore, the mother-daughter relationship is also a intergenerational transmission vehicleThrough words, gestures, silences, and attitudes, mothers transmit to their daughters a specific way of being in the world: how to love, how to care for the body, what it means to be a woman, how to manage conflicts, and what is expected of them in the family and in society.
Our emotions: minefields in the brain structure between mothers and daughters
An image that many girls may remember of their mothers is that of a dimly lit room, where a young woman tries calm your migraine or stifles tears, seeking a moment of privacy to vent in the face of life's pressures. According to OMS (World Health Organization), depression affects women to a greater degree, to the point that it has come to be considered one of the main causes of temporary disability; Some studies predict that by 2030 It could become the leading cause of temporary disability if prevention and treatment policies are not strengthened.
So, those images that many girls have seen their mothers trying to overcome and face the black holes of depression This is something that, in turn, may also be latent in their own brain structures. And not only because they witnessed these vital moments, but because genetics and different brain structures have shaped it that way from one generation to the next.
At the same time, another layer must be added: the learned emotional inheritanceThe daughter not only receives a biological predisposition, but also emotional management modelsHow one deals with conflict—whether one talks about what hurts or remains silent, whether one asks for help or endures it alone—all of this shapes the terrain upon which one's own inner world is built.
These experiences can become repeating patterns In adulthood: daughters who normalize excessive sacrifice, lack of boundaries, or fear of expressing their feelings, because that's what they saw at home. Or, conversely, daughters who consciously decide to break with those patterns, even if they feel guilty about doing so.
The limbic system, craftsman of our emotions
The limbic system is a brain structure that regulates our emotional stimuli and which, in turn, is related to fascinating brain areas and nuclei such as the hippocampus, linked to memory, or the amygdala, responsible for processing and recognizing more basic and instinctive emotions, such as fear or anger.
These structures, both magical and key to becoming who we are —deeply emotional people Whether we like it or not, mothers and daughters actually share many similarities:
- According to the psychiatrist Fumiko hoeft, specialist in the world of children and adolescents, professor at the University of California in San Francisco and director of this study, Magnetic resonance imaging showed that brain circuits associated with emotions are inherited particularly strongly from mothers to daughters.They have similar chemical activity, are activated by certain stimuli in a similar way, and react in a very similar manner.
This does not mean that the daughter is doomed to feel exactly the same, but it does mean that her “factory emotional base” It can be similar: a tendency to react with more anxiety to stress, or a greater sensitivity to sadness, or, on the contrary, a remarkable capacity for resilience.
Along with biology, other factors also play a role epigenetics and the environmentLife experiences, social support, emotional networks, and internal resources cause these circuits to be reinforced, modified, or made more flexible. This point is crucial: We do not inherit a destiny, we inherit a modifiable predisposition.
Depression: a complex bond between mothers and daughters
There is one aspect that we must take into account. Depression remains a taboo subject in many societiesIn the workplace, it's easy to say that you have the flu, that you're going to have surgery, or that you've been diagnosed with a physical illness. Understanding usually follows immediately.
However, when someone is on sick leave due to depression, it tends to be viewed differently. It's questioned, minimized, or interpreted as a lack of willpower. Nobody chooses their illness or wants to disconnect from life...from their responsibilities or their children to begin a personal battle with medications and therapies. And it's even more complex. explain to a boy or girl Why is one of their parents withdrawn, why do they need more hugs, or why do they lack the energy to play?
Depression has a genetic component Whether we like it or not, there is a higher probability of developing it if our mother has had it. However, it is important to clarify some aspects:
- If our mother suffered or suffers from depression There is no 100% correlation that we are going to suffer it.
- What may exist is a reduced capacity of our limbic system to respond flexibly to stressbecause we have inherited similar biochemical patterns to those of our mother.
- Depression involves a neurochemical imbalanceThat is, an alteration of neurotransmitters such as norepinephrine, epinephrine, and dopamine, which influence energy, pleasure, and motivation.
- Factors such as our Emotional education, the social context, the quality of the bonds we establish, friendships and the coping strategies that we develop thanks to resilience They can provide us with resources that our mothers may not have had or knew about.
Psychology also emphasizes that conflictive and chronically tense relationships between mother and daughter increases the risk of low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression In both cases, especially during adolescence and young adulthood. When the relationship is fraught with criticism, put-downs, or excessive dependence, the daughter may internalize a strong sense of inadequacy that makes her more vulnerable to mood disorders.
Conversely, when the relationship is based on support, emotional validation, and clear boundariesEven in difficult contexts, a secure base is strengthened from which the daughter can explore the world and develop a stronger identity.
The mother-daughter relationship throughout life
The emotional inheritance between mothers and daughters is not expressed in the same way at all stages. Throughout development, this bond undergoes changes. very different phases which may include intense closeness, conflicts, distances, and reconciliations.
Childhood: dependence and the construction of attachment
In the early years, the mother is usually the primary attachment figureThrough their care, the baby not only survives, but also builds a first image of the world: whether it is a safe or threatening place, whether their needs are met or ignored.
When a mother experiences severe emotional difficulties—such as a postpartum depression If left untreated, the bond can be affected. Emotional distance, irritability, disconnection, or, in the most extreme cases, risky behaviors may appear. This doesn't mean the relationship is doomed, but it may require intervention. early professional support to protect the girl's emotional development.
Conflicts between mothers and daughters can also arise in childhood due to factors such as jealousy between brothersvery authoritarian parenting styles or girls with oppositional behaviors that intensely challenge the figure of authority. When these tensions become chronic without communication tools, they can leave lasting marks on how the daughter perceives herself and relates to others in the future.
Adolescence: identity, rebellion and the search for autonomy
Adolescence is one of the most intense stages in the mother-daughter bond. The young woman ceases to be a child and begins her own journey towards adulthood. personal autonomyThis almost always implies questioning maternal authorityto discuss norms, lifestyles, ideas about the body, sexuality, or the future.
In this phase, two characteristic movements can occur:
- the mother is idealized as a distant model and almost unattainable, someone who is admired but also afraid of disappointing.
- The daughter tries to distance and differentiatewith emotions of anger, rebellion and, later, guilt for that estrangement.
This conflict is not a mistake, but a identity construction mechanismThe key is for the mother to be able to maintain clear boundaries without feeling betrayed by her daughter's autonomy, and for the teenager to be able to express their difference without feeling that she is losing maternal love.
If the relationship was already damaged by previous experiences—constant criticism, lack of recognition, emotional coldness, or extreme overprotection—adolescence can amplify the tensions: the daughter may adopt very radical positions, distance herself sharply, or, on the contrary, becoming trapped in an emotional dependency which prevents him from separating.
Adulthood: when roles are reversed
In adulthood, the mother-daughter relationship can take on very diverse forms. In some cases, it transforms into a bond more horizontalIn some cases, there is mutual respect and support. In others, old conflicts that were never discussed are maintained or revived.
Sometimes it happens that, when the mother presents psychological problems, chronic illnesses, or addictionsThe daughter assumes the role of primary caregiver. This is then referred to as a reversed mother-child careThe daughter supports her mother emotionally or even financially, at the expense of her own well-being and personal projects.
It is also common that, when the daughter becomes a mother herself, the “compensation claims”Old shortcomings resurface, parenting styles are compared, and old wounds are reopened. It's a delicate time, but also a great opportunity to review the emotional inheritance and decide what you want to repeat and what you don't.
At this stage, some women need to distance themselves from overly critical, controlling, or toxic mothers to protect their mental health and that of their children. Others find spaces for dialogue, therapy, or support to transform the relationship into something healthier and less burdened by recrimination.
Birth, upbringing, and the impact on the emotional bond
At Madres Hoy we have already talked to you about the need to address different aspects related to childbirth. The way we got into the worldFor example, it can leave an imprint on that immature but terribly receptive brain to emotions like stress and fear.
To care for the delicate emotional world of our daughters, as well as our sons, it is necessary to consider some key aspects:
- If you have gone through depression and overcome it, something in you has changed.You are stronger; you have faced your demons and clung to life because you know your children are by your side. Pass this strength on to them: nurture their self-esteem, teach them to make decisions, to set boundaries, to say "no" when something hurts them, and to say "yes" to what is good for them.
- Example speaks louder than words.Taking care of yourself, asking for help when you need it, maintaining healthy relationships with friends and partners, and respecting your own boundaries sends your children the message that They also have the right to take care of themselves.
Furthermore, it is important to be aware that motherhood stirs up “ghosts of childhood”Pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period often reactivate memories and emotions linked to how we were motheredSometimes a great deal of empathy for one's own mother appears; other times, intense pain for what was lacking. This internal movement can be experienced as a crisis, but also as an opportunity for To heal old wounds and offer the children a different experience.
In this sense, having nurturing female role models (other mothers, respectful health professionals, support groups) can compensate for the absence or difficulty of one's own mother and help build a model of motherhood more consistent with what we wish to be.
Emotional inheritance, female lineage, and resilience
The history of humanity is not only written in books or in distant dates. It is also written in our bodies, in the way we feel, in how we connect with each other, and in how we protect ourselves. Each person carries a memory that did not begin with his birth, a memory that is passed down from generation to generation and that is expressed, often without our knowledge, in our daily decisions.
Science offers us a powerful metaphor to understand it: mitochondrial DNAThis lineage, which is transmitted exclusively through the maternal line, reminds us that we are linked to a long chain of women who sustained life before us.
Alongside the biological aspect, there is a emotional lineageBeliefs about love, mandates of sacrifice, ways of enduring pain in silence, or, conversely, legacies of courage, creativity, and resilience. Not all inheritance is a burden; we also receive strengths and resources that help us face adversity.
Today we know, thanks to the epigeneticsthat the expression of our genes can be modified according to experience and environment. This opens up a hopeful idea: We are not entirely determined by our inheritanceWe can become conscious links that transform the legacy we have received.
Healing the female lineage does not mean blaming our mothers or grandmothers, but to understand its limits and its historyRecognizing which parts of that narrative we keep repeating and deciding what we want to keep, what to transform, and what to leave behind. This inner work, often accompanied by therapy, honest dialogue, or self-knowledge processes, is one of the greatest acts of love we can give ourselves, our mothers, and any daughters we may have.
Daughters are not copies of their mothers
Given all this information, one might think that, in a certain way, Daughters are emotional copies of their mothers.However, this is not true. To understand this, let's think about other areas: if our mothers suffer from hypertension, diabetes, hypothyroidism, or obesity, it doesn't mean we will have the same condition. 100% chance to develop those same problems.
The same applies to the emotional sphere. We must see this information for what it is: a relevant fact for prevention and awarenessThe daughter shares a similar biological basis, but her history, her decisions, and her support can lead her down very different paths.
- A daughter will never be an exact copy of her mother. life contextTheir education, their role models, their opportunities, and their personality create a unique scenario.
- Sometimes, when a girl has grown up watching her mother struggling with sadness, exhaustion, or loneliness, consciously decides to build a different life, learning from what hurt him.
- Even when there is a predisposition to depression or anxiety, the daughter can develop resilience and self-care strategies that reduce the impact of that vulnerability.
As an additional piece of information, the aforementioned study found that, while the maternal inheritance It seems to be linked to a greater predisposition to certain emotional difficulties, the paternal genetic load It has been linked to a higher risk of difficulties such as anxiety, dyslexia, or autism in some children. This data is constantly being revised, but it points to a complex reality: Mothers and fathers contribute differently to their children's vulnerability and emotional strength.
Ultimately, understanding the emotional inheritance between mothers and daughters allows us to look at one's own family tree more clearlyTo recognize the invisible threads that run through us and, above all, to exercise our capacity for choice. Every honest conversation, every healthy boundary, and every act of self-care that a woman grants herself introduces new information into her lineage, opening the door to freer relationships and more conscious connections among the women of the same family.
Facing what we inherited—what gave us strength and also what hurt us—doesn't condemn us, but rather gives us the opportunity to rewrite history with more truth, more respect, and more compassion towards ourselves and our mothers.