We all have teachers in our lives who will help us to be better people and teach us great things. But the reality is that the great teachers are those who are in families, fathers and mothers and even grandparents and some uncles and aunts. The people closest to children will be teachers in lifeThey will be the ones who teach how to face life to the smallest of the house.
But not only children learn. In a home great teachers can also be children and it is that parents learn great things from them every day. Many times the more we believe that we know, life comes and reminds us that we will never stop learning and that life's lessons will always be present, and when we are mothers and fathers it will be the maternity lessons that remind us, that every day is a new learning. Keeping an open and flexible mind prevents judgment and allows us to grow with our children..
However in motherhood we have great learnings and lessons that all mothers in the world must reflect on them in order to better enjoy life and to understand many things that may go unnoticed today. It is not a linear or perfect path: it is a process of continuous change.
The birth of our children is an incredible moment
Childbirth is a private moment and the most intimate between a mother and a child. It is a moment in life that can never be relived again and that you have to learn to enjoy it in order to create beautiful memories. If the delivery is not adequate or if it is done badly (or if it feels like it is done badly) it can lead to negative feelings that are very difficult to bear. In this sense, you must be aware of the delivery you want to have, how you want to carry it out and what things you want to happen and what not. Think that if something does not go well, the medical team will know what to do at all times to be able to solve the problems and that both you and your baby can be safe. Inform you, prepare your birth plan and at the same time accepting that changes can arise is key.
Many mothers discover that, although they had imagined giving birth in a certain way, reality can lead to a cesarean section or interventionsLearning to shift focus and emphasize safety and early contact (skin-to-skin contact, initiation of breastfeeding whenever possible) helps to heal expectations. Do everything in your power and let go of control over what is not within your control..
You learn the meaning of true love
Before becoming a mother, you may have thought many times about the meaning of love and how you have ever lived them intensely, usually when you fall in love. It is likely that you feel love for your parents, grandparents or siblings but you have never stopped to think what kind of love it is, you simply know that they are your family and that you love them. But When you become a mother, all that changes or will start to have a new meaning for you.
Once you become a mother, when you know what it is to have your child in your arms, you realize what is real love because the love between a mother and a child is the purest and truest love that exists on the face of the earth. Then it will be when you can understand the love that your grandparents felt for your parents, the love that your parents feel for you and your siblings (if you have them) and it will be then, when you feel and know what the meaning of the word really is. to love. This love is not possession: we accompany its path without appropriating it..
Setting limits and rules at home is necessary
Since babies are born and pass the first year of life, it is very common for parents to begin to set rules and limits at home ... this is necessary. It is necessary for children to learn that they must respect a series of rules and limits to be able to live at home, to be able to be protected and to be able to know what is expected of them at all times. Consistent rules and boundaries are necessary for the education of all children in every home in the world. Or do people not need rules to live together in society? The key is a democratic parenting style: firmness with closeness.
For them to work, make sure the rules are clear, coherent and appropriate for their age, explain them calmly, validate emotions when they get frustrated, and avoid physical punishment. Remember that you are his model: The way you handle anger, watch your language, and correct mistakes becomes living learning for your child.
Mothers also need to rest
A motherhood lesson that all mothers need to learn is that we also need a break from time to time. We try to cover everything at home, at work and in the family but we are not machines, we simply cannot handle everything if we have not rested as we should. Self-care is not a luxury: it's a responsibility.
It is true that all mothers we have an extra "mother energy" That helps us to endure the long sleepless nights when the children are sick and the next day we have to go to work. But if we don't rest afterwards… we won't be well enough to take care of our little ones again. They deserve the best of us and that is why they deserve that we also rest. Learning to ask your support network for help makes all the difference..
Likewise, it is also essential that we learn to find moments of relaxation during the day, whether in the form of a hot bath alone, in the form of a walk or in front of a coffee with friends ... Surely you cannot do it every day, but You should prioritize at least a break or two during the week. You also deserve your time so leave the father with the baby and the children or a babysitter, or someone you trust ... even for a couple of hours. If you experience persistent sadness, anxiety, or apathy, seek professional help..
Being a mother does not mean strict routines
It is true that daily routines are needed for all houses with children to function well. Children feel secure when routines are well established at home, but these routines exist it does not mean that they should be like that every day of the year. It is very important that in motherhood there is also a certain daily flexibility to be able to face setbacks. For example, if you have dinner at 20.30:XNUMX p.m. at home every day but one day it is late, it is not a reason for anger or discussion ... you do the routines or skip some to get to everything. Flexibility and structure can coexist.
The important thing about routines is to find the balance and safety within the home. Children should know what to do at each moment, and everything should be well-organized, but of course... with a certain degree of flexibility in mind whenever necessary.
Being a mother is a constant learning process. As they say, "children don't come with instruction manuals." But what all mothers do learn is that we have instincts, and if we listen to them and heed them, everything will be much easier! Trust your judgment and adapt the recommendations to your reality..
Managing change: these are stages and there is no need to compare them
In the first months and years, everything changes quickly: feedings, waking up, tantrums, regressions... Reminding yourself that these are stages helps you go through each phase without catastrophizing.When something overwhelms you, breathe and repeat: "this too shall pass."
Avoid measuring your motherhood against that of other families. Your child is unique and develops at his or her own pace., and many experiences you see outside are partially or biasedly recounted. Listen courteously, filter with common sense, and decide based on your context.
Mindful presence: less multitasking and more connection
You may want to do everything at once, but motherhood teaches you to prioritize. Give yourself moments of 100% attention to your childWithout a phone or distractions; and when you're working or doing something else, focus on that. This alternation improves the quality of your connection and your productivity.
Our children as a mirror: emotional management and growth
There are days when you will see irritability, intense demands, or disobedience in your child, and you will discover that Their behavior reflects parts of you that need attentionShedding light on your own wounds, practicing self-care, and, if necessary, consulting a mental health professional can transform the family climate.
Teamwork: couple, family and tribe
Parenting becomes more bearable when You share responsibilities, agree on common boundaries, and ask for support.Involve your partner in caregiving, rest, and play; practice respectful communication and avoid arguing in front of the children. Your network (grandparents, friends, professionals) is a valuable support; use it without guilt.
Autonomy without overprotection
To love is also to let go. Avoid excessive control ("helicopter") and favor small decisions and responsibilities appropriate for their age: choosing clothes, picking up toys, resolving conflicts with guidance. Being present without intruding strengthens their self-esteem and frustration tolerance.
Decisions that become more flexible: co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, and running
Many mothers discover that practices they swore not to use (co-sleeping, babywearing, breastfeeding in public) They end up being great allies. If sleeping together improves rest and everyone feels safe, it's a valid option; if you prefer everyone to have their own bed, that's also true. There are no universal recipes, there are real families finding their balance..
According to the lactationBreastfeeding provides nourishment, bonding, and comfort; doing it in public is legitimate. And if you can't or don't want to breastfeed, you're no less of a mother either.: The priority is everyone's well-being. At work, you may prefer to take a break, work remotely, or continue your career; find the formula that works for you. support your mental health and your economy.
Skills that flourish with motherhood
Over time you will notice profound changes: more patience than you imagined, assertive communication (firm and kind), planning of routines and menus, perseverance in the face of sleep or learning challenges. You learn to Put problems into perspective, trust life more, and listen to your instincts above the outside noise.
Emotional education and parenting styles
Active listening and emotional validation are powerful tools. Listen to what they say and what they feelName emotions and model regulation. Avoid labels, use logical consequences, and encourage reparation. The democratic style (clear boundaries, affection, and dialogue) is the one that best predicts well-being.
- Model what you expect: respect, apologies, cooperation.
- Avoid physical punishment: damages the bond and worsens behavior.
- Reinforce the positive and offers limited options for training decisions.
- Promotes play as a natural way to learn socio-emotional skills.
Solve problems together: accompany their learning
Guiding is not solving for them. Ask questions, break down challenges, and accompany without invading.From tying their shoelaces to studying, your calibrated presence (neither excessive nor absent) expands their developmental zone and their confidence to face challenges.
Preparing for motherhood and childbirth: training gives you peace of mind
If you feel like it, you can attend classes or workshops where they are addressed Pregnancy symptoms, signs of labor, pain management, and newborn care. Breathing, positions, pain relief options, the role of the caregiver, and how to organize the home for the baby's arrival are also taught. These sessions They reduce fears and strengthen the couple and the family.
- What will you learn: labor, skin-to-skin contact, breastfeeding, warning signs, common complications, and how to respond.
- What to include: birth plan, when to go to the hospital, relief techniques, differences between vaginal birth and cesarean section, basic baby care.
- Benefits : less anxiety, better communication with the healthcare team and a greater sense of control over what is controllable.
Communication and coexistence: limits, respect and team
Establish agreements as a couple about rules, screens, sleep, and food. Keeping the same message avoids power strugglesTry not to discuss sensitive topics in front of the little ones and reserve time for adult connection (a chat, a walk, a movie). A good relationship translates into security for children.
Time for you, time for us, time for them
Schedule micro-spaces for yourself (reading, walking, exercising), for your partner (dinner, movies, conversation), and for your family (going out, playing games, cooking together). Quality of time matters more than quantity, and the balance between these three spheres nourishes the entire house.
Motherhood is not about making it perfect, but about be present, learn, repair and loveAllowing yourself to change your mind, leaning on your tribe, and listening to your instincts will bring you peace. The laughter, the hugs, the made-up songs, and the small everyday achievements will be etched in everyone's hearts, and that's what truly builds a beautiful family history.