Love is shown, it is not forced. Breakdown of the bond between mother and child.

Today we launch a reflection on the bond and feelings that mothers have towards their children, and vice versa. There are some cases in which that love is not reciprocated by one of the parties. That is hardly understandable for the rest, but sometimes it is necessary to de-dramatize the situation, to avoid greater evils.

Each type of love is different and each attachment figure creates a bond. Once formed, you have to take care of it, if it breaks, it will affect both parts, in one way or another.

The bond between mothers and children

We have already spoken on occasion of the bonds of attachment that we form with our children. First from the prenatal period and then from birth. ANDit's important not only create a bond, if not reinforce it and worry about it being a healthy and safe attachment. He must be sure that he will have all your love without suffocating him, but without feeling a lack of support from you.

We know that it is very easy to speak in theory and that attachment ties are more complex than meets the eye. However, it is not difficult to understand that if you exceed either of the two extremes, you will both be harmed.

Breaking the attachment bond

The breakdown of this link may be due to numerous circumstances, most of them traumatic. We can speak both of the rejection of a mother towards her children, and of the rejection of a son of his mother.

A son may love his mother more than anyone else in the world, but he needs a personal space, as well as healthy care. Actually, you can't ignore your son and then demand that he appreciate you, I value you and love you. Nor can you expect it to have no sequelae for that damage you did to it. Because child is a defenseless being depends on others to liveThey are the responsibility of their parents, of both. They want both of them and they both need, Although they can survive without them, it always has consequences.

Normally, these circumstances that lead to the breakdown of the link are enhanced by the weakness of the link. A strong and secure attachment cannot be easily broken. This is only possible if the link is in poor shape.

One way to weaken the bond is to have an anxious type of attachment. This is where one of the two parties craves the other's affection and does anything to please him. Although this profile is usually more common in mothers towards their children, the reverse also occurs.

Strengthen the bond

It may seem absurd, but it may happen that putting space between the two is a solution to reinforce that bond. It is difficult to love someone who is suffocating you. However, how easy it is to be with who you miss.

If there is a lack of interest on the part of one of the parties, it is best to try to downplay the situation as much as possible. That link will likely never be restored. If it is broken by this circumstance, the person who is interested in reinforcing it does not need to hear that it is something unnatural. He does not need to constantly think about the pain that the situation inflicts on him. What he needs is to escape, heal and learn that no one dies for anyone, even if we find it hard to believe.

How to be happy with a broken bond

You have to think that we are born alone, we die alone. That is an important lesson to learn in life if we want to achieve happiness. We should not look for it in other people, if not in ourselves. It is true that your child's smile will make you happy, just as your child will be happy if you make him some cookies or his favorite food. However, it should not get to the point where all your happiness is based on that smile or those cookies.

The more pillars your happiness has, the more difficult it will be to tear it down. If you are that son or daughter, whose mother or father has rejected or disengaged, you have to think that surely there is someone else who covers that need for affection. You may not have one of your parents, or neither of them, but you will not lack people who have taken care of you as and when you needed it. Don't think about what you lack think about what you have.

If you are a mother or father whose child rejects you, you know that your child is dependent on you at birth. But you must not forget that you are also a person. Not only will you do it for your own good, but also for your child's. Living by and for him hurts you both. It may happen that you no longer know how to be happy without that smile and that your son ends up manipulating you to always get away with it. If you don't show him that you also have feelings and are a person, he won't know it. This can lead to the breaking of the bond, but not to the end of the world.

Your child may get angry or even lose him, but you will get yourself back. Someday, as a father (or mother if you are a daughter), you may realize how inconsiderate you were. It may be too late to regain that bond, but you shouldn't feel guilty. You will learn your lesson, and perhaps this will lead to a happiness that depends only on yourself and being consistent with your actions.