It is possible that one day while in the park you have thought about giving a reprimand to someone else's child because they have not been good to your child. But it is also possible that you have not done it because you have felt that it is better to keep quiet and wait to see if the parents act opposite that they should be the ones who educate their children. But is it okay to discipline someone else's child? Some situations, especially when children put themselves or others at risk, require an adult to intervene… even if they are not the parents.
Perhaps you have ever met a child out of control at a party or other place and who begins to ruin the stay for others. These children may have tantrums, hit, yell, or break things. How should you proceed when you witness this type of situation where the child does not seem to see reason?
Thinking about disciplining someone else's child can make you think twice about doing it. On the one hand, parents of young children are often concerned with ensuring that their own children act appropriately to handle someone else's child. But if you are hosting a birthday party (for example) then you are in charge of all aspects of the event, including the behavior of the children. Like it or not, if a child's actions are ruining the day or putting others at risk and the child's parents refuse to act, then you do have to take action.
How long to wait before intervening
Too often, adults wait until a child is completely out of control to use discipline. They wait for the child to calm down or for the other parent to intervene. But waiting too long to intervene can actually allow misbehavior to get worse. It is best to do what most educators recommend and that is to act calmly as soon as the problem arises without waiting too long.
If the child's parents are present, you will need to ask them to take action. If they hesitate or the child starts over, then you should be prepared to intervene. Consider removing the child from the situation and taking him directly to his parents. Don't be surprised if the bad behavior doesn't stop, but as a host you must ensure the safety and well-being of all the children present.
What to do when parents are not around
If the father or mother of the child in question is not present, the situation becomes more complicated. Families may have different expectations and rules about acceptable behavior, and when a stranger disciplines a child, the family may take the action personally or as a criticism of their parenting skills ... Something that usually always sits very bad. However, not taking action can make the situation considerably worse.
The easiest (and safest) way to discipline other people's children is by involving them in a different activity or by physically removing them from the situation and telling them why they can't continue to misbehave. The way to proceed depends on the actions and the age of the child. Do not label the action as a disciplinary strategy (for example, waiting time or removing privileges) because this is not your duty, so they must do it or label those actions their parents ... If you do not label the strategy you have used it will be less likely that they the child's parents are offended.
Behaviors that warrant immediate intervention
Some behaviors require adults to take immediate action when someone else's child acts. If a child engages in any of the following behaviors, feel free to intervene:
- Aggressive behavior that assaults other people
- Screaming or loud noises
- Destructive behavior such as breaking things or ruining something
- Alarming behaviors such as hurting a pet or pushing a baby's carriage with a baby in it
- Any behavior that you would not allow your children in an activity where your children are
Prevention of misbehavior
Adults can take steps before an event to prevent children from misbehaving. They can take preventive steps, such as using age-appropriate language to establish simple rules with young children. In schools or other places where activities are carried out with children in pre-primary or primary education, they usually first make a circle where the adult explains the behavior expectations and gives the children or explains the example to follow, making sure that everyone understands it. . If you are going to organize a party with other children, it is a good idea that you communicate to the parents what will be the rules to be followed by all so that they also talk about it with their children and everyone is aware of them.
You can also tell the children before the party starts that if they don't follow the rules they will have to spend a few minutes sitting alone, and if they continue to bother directly they will stop playing until the moment they have to leave. Inform the parents of this before the party begins so that if they bring their children they will agree. There should be rules and limits to prevent children from losing control. Parents should supervise their own child or have a mobile phone with them to be available in case they need to pick up their child if problems arise.
If you have invited too many children to a birthday party, do not control it alone, seek help or hire the services of a party entertainer to minimize the work. A smaller group is always easier to control and will provide children with more fun than if the group is too large. Remember; More is not better!
Children need your example
All children misbehave from time to time, but they need you to guide them and guide them with your respect for them and all your love, even if they are not your children. If a child misbehaves in front of you you will have to make sure above all, to remain calm. If you take a child's misbehavior in stride, then it is likely that you discipline him correctly and that his parents, instead of getting angry, will thank you ... as long as you inform them of what happened.