Interview with Oscar González: "we are advancing the age of buying children a smartphone"

Oscar González He is a teacher of Primary Education, as well as a lecturer, writer and educational advisor; We present him as a professional committed to educational change and convinced that only from a more fluid relationship between school and family, it will be possible to improve education. Founder of the Alianza Educativa and the Escuela de Padres con Talento, he is also dedicated to educating families on topics of interest to mothers and fathers.

Oscar is the author of highly recommended books: “Familia y Escuela. School and Family ”,“ The educational change ”, and 3 volumes to learn to educate with talent, common sense and criteria, are called“ Parents School ”and their contents are divided by age from 0 years to adolescence (included) . We have interviewed him for Mothers Today, because we wanted you to give us your vision on cyberbullying, since we know that it is an issue that as a teacher worries you a lot. As you know, last week a new report from the ANAR Foundation, and we wanted to know your opinion. We hope you enjoy the interview.

Mothers Today: As you know, we have just learned that (according to a report by the ANAR Foundation) cyberbullying is increasing, and its incidence in people over 13 is 36% of all cases of bullying. Do you think that we are not knowing how to guide our minors in a healthy use of ICT?

Oscar Gonzalez: I am convinced that this is so. We leave computers, smartphones, tablets, etc. in the hands of our children at increasingly younger ages but many times without any kind of guidance or supervision, which I consider a real mistake with consequences that we are already seeing. Our obligation and responsibility is to get involved and be up to date to educate our children in the safe and responsible use of these technologies..

MH: A few years ago, the director of an IES in Catalonia intervened before an episode of cyberbullying that occurred outside the walls of the center, but that affected her students. In your opinion, is there still too much passivity on the part of the teaching community?

OG: More than passivity It is because we consider that our work is given only and exclusively in the classroom when it really is not.. We educate by and for life. We must offer tools that help our students deal with real life problems. That is the essence of education and not knowing how to solve only mathematical problems. For this reason, when students have come to my classes telling me about problems that have happened to them in the famous WhatsApp groups, I have listened and encouraged them to take action. Many will say why do you get there? And my answer is simple: I could not sleep peacefully knowing what is happening with that student who is insulted, threatened, etc. Perhaps because they do not have the necessary tools to deal with the problem?

It is true that we do not have the necessary tools and here I appeal to our political leaders to care for education once and for all to invest in the means to deal with this serious problem. Teachers need specific training to help us prevent, identify when a problem of this type occurs (cyberbullying) and above all to act to solve it. And this is a team effort in which we need the educational community to become aware of its seriousness. We remember the famous African proverb “to educate a child we need the entire tribe”.

MH: But it is clear that responsibility should be shared, right? Also a few years ago I was reading Pere Cervantes and Oliver Tausté affirming that parents seemed lethargic, and perhaps they do not give the deserved importance to certain behaviors of their children in the network Without wishing to generalize ... are we too permissive or permissive?

OG: I totally agree with Pere Cervantes and Oliver Tausté (Pere is also a great friend). Rather than permissiveness, I would affirm that it is a "neglect of functions." We think they know more than we do and that's fine now. But no: it is necessary that since they are little we spend time browsing with them on the internet, supervising access to content, etc. We must establish limits: connection time, moments of use, etc. To achieve this, it is necessary for us to act by our example.

MH: It is not strange to see 9-year-old girls and boys with their own smartphone, or 12-year-old boys publishing intimate photos on Instagram, it seems that balance has been lost a bit, how should we react to regain it?

OG: Each time we advance the age in which we put a smartphone in our children's pocket. Many times without even asking them. We are the adults who create that need for them. To regain that balance, we should start with ourselves by showing that you can live without Facebook, without WhatsApp, etc. It is difficult but we must do it. In addition, if we take the step of buying the phone from them, it is on one condition: that the parents monitor and supervise that it is used correctly. How can a 10-year-old girl post intimate photos on Instagram without her parents finding out? What world do we live in?

MH: And by the way, I know that each family is different and that sometimes there are needs that others ignore, but at what age can a minor use a device on their own safely?

OG: I always say the same thing: it is difficult to establish a specific age because this is linked to the maturity and development of the child and each child is a world that grows at a different rate. For this reason there will be children who are 14 years old who are prepared to make responsible use of the device and others who are 18 who are a danger with the mobile in their hands.

MH: Up to what age do you think maternal or paternal supervision would be convenient?

MV: By common sense I think that until 18 from there that the "child" is of legal age, he must show and show that he is responsible enough so that we do not have to go after him as a police officer.

MH: Tell us what teachers and professors can do to prevent cyberbullying.

MV: The truth is that we can do very little since cases of cyberbullying, as opposed to bullying, do not usually occur in the school but outside of it. And on many occasions this cyberbullying does not occur between classmates but with people we meet on the net ... Hence our difficulty in intervening. However, we can do prevention work since we can explain to children what cyberbullying is and what they should do if they suffer it (or if they are aware of someone who is suffering from it). If the information reaches us, our obligation is to inform the competent authorities in collaboration with the families of our students.

MH: And please, help us with this: do you know what signs could indicate that a child could be the victim of any of the forms of bullying?

MV: Bullying and cyberbullying are totally different and the ways in which they are presented as well.

Let's see the BULLYING:

• Loss of objects or school supplies.
• Sudden refusal to go to school (on Sunday afternoon he is especially nervous-anxious and makes excuses).
• Clothes tear, bruise marks (always makes excuses to justify them).
• Change of sleeping-eating habits / patterns.
• Cries for no apparent reason.
•  You don't want to go on field trips, birthdays, etc.
• Lowers their school performance.
• Humor changes.
• Loses interest in games or habitual interests.

CYBERBULLYING:

It is difficult to determine if you are being a victim unless you tell. These are some guidelines to combat it

• Do not respond to provocations, ignore them. Count to one hundred and think about something else.
• Behave with education on the net.
• If they disturb you, quit the connection and ask for help.
• Do not provide personal data. You will feel more protected.
• Do not do on the network what you would not do face to face.
• If you are harassed, keep testing.
• Do not think you're quite sure / to the other side of the screen.
• He warns that the abuser is committing a crime.
• If there are serious threats for help urgently.

MH: Taking into account that you are not only a teacher, but you also have a lot of accumulated experience in contact with families, I would like you to give us some guidelines for the safe use of technology.

OG: Here are some guidelines for safe surfing on the web:

• Spend time browsing with your children: connect with them and accompany them to better understand their interests and preferences.
• Set connection times. Check that these are met.
• Place the computer in a common place in the house (it facilitates supervision).
•  Check that they access pages adapted to their age.
• Provide them with information about the possible harmful content that may be found.
• Explain the security measures they must take when connecting.
• Make use of a filtering program or parental control

And so far the interview with Oscar González, We thank you for your willingness to collaborate with Madres Hoy, and we encourage you to continue with your exceptional task of supporting families who are looking for the best way to educate their children.. For our part, we also hope that you liked it and that you have learned a lot.