Many parents are concerned because they have realized that their children have imaginary friends and think that it may be a mental disorder, but nothing could be further from the truth. Children can have imaginary friends and that is no problem, rather the opposite ... it can even be healthy. Imaginary friends can grow out of young children's active and healthy imaginations. It is a way that children have to express their feelings to a playmate that although it does not really exist, helps them to practice and improve their social skills.
Two out of three children have an imaginary friend, It can be a person, an animal, or even an inanimate object. At some point during their early childhood (during the two and three years) they may have friends at school, but they can also create different ones with imagined characteristics, which vary according to the mood of your child. Imaginary friends can last several months, but they can be with your child for up to three years.
Why Children Make Up Imaginary Friends
There are quite a few reasons why children make up imaginary friends when they have natural persons available to interact with.
- Imaginary friends give children the opportunity to exercise control over their environment, while real friends might pick up their toys or put them through conflict. This an imaginary friend would never do, so it makes a perfect playmate.
- Imaginary friends they can be the easy culprits when kids take inappropriate actions like breaking something accidentally. They are also an aid to expressing excessive emotions, for example your daughter may say something like: "Cuqui hates those shoes and does not want to put them on", referring to the fact that she does not like those shoes.
- Imaginary friends can help build a sense of security and comfort in the child, because they offer them the opportunity to show their confidence and courage. They can calm their own fears, for example you can say to yourself to calm your own fears: "Cuqui, don't be afraid of the monsters under the bed."
- Imaginary friends too can provide constant companionship, something real friends can't always do.
Imaginary friends a problem?
Imaginary friends are a part of normal development and instead of being a problem it can help children cope with some stresses in their life in a healthy way. Sometimes an imaginary friend can help the parents to find out whether or not there is a problem., because the child can use it as a mediator of information without the need to feel emotional anxiety.
For example, if the imaginary friend is afraid of the dark, it is probably the child who is afraid of the dark, and it will be helpful if he learns to handle your fears through your friend. If that imaginary friend is always misbehaving or getting into trouble, it is likely that the child is breaking the rules or has inappropriate behavior and emotions must be worked to solve this problem.
If this type of behavior happens often, the parents should treat the imaginary friend the same as they would treat the child, for example: «Cuqui can say that you don't want to go to bed, but I am your mother and it is time to sleep. Cuqui also has to sleep ».
If your child likes to play with his friends, plays with you and has a normal behavior then having an imaginary friend should not be a problem. If, on the other hand, a child prefers to play with his imaginary friend and isolates himself from other children or does not want to interact with children or adults, then it will be necessary to know what is happening and help him to do 'real' things.
What can parents do?
If you don't accept the way your child has a relationship with his imaginary friend, then it will be helpful if you don't get too involved. You can help your child by doing joint activities most of the time, without judging or belittling when he talks about his imaginary friend, respect that. If your imaginary friend is always to blame when your child does something wrong, it helps if he feels that he can fix it too. For example, if the child says that it was 'Cuqui' who spilled the milk, you could say something like these mistakes are what make us learn so that it does not spill again in the future. He will also have to help 'Cuqui' clean up the whole mess.
