The birth of a baby is an event for uncles, grandparents, friends, and even neighbors. It is natural to be interested in the mother and her little son, it is normal for We want to see that little face up close so captivating that newborn babies have. But if you are one of those lucky people who is about to meet your first nephew, or the son of that friend you care so much about, we recommend that you continue reading, because above the desire you have to visit the baby, there are the intimacy of the family who has just grown up, and the right to the rest they so deserve.
It is very disconcerting that the first night after delivery, up to 10 people show up in the hospital room! For at least the first 24 hours, visitors should refrain from showing up, which does not mean they don't worry. The new mother and her baby have just met, the father needs his space to relocate, the rest They should limit themselves to sending messages or (at most) call to ask how everything went, and offer help if needed.
Note that in this sense, technology is a great help to us because if the new parents have a little time, they can send exclusive images that will thrill whoever receives them or use one app to keep track of your baby daily.
'Knock, knock', I come to visit
As we have said, nothing to appear during the first hours, from then on, be careful! It does not matter if you are a friend or a grandmother. It is convenient that you call before by phone to notify: An unexpected visit in these circumstances can be annoying.
She thinks it's hard to get organized when you have a baby. Parents may not feel comfortable if someone shows up at 12 noon and they're still in their pajamas; and the mom may want to intimacy while breastfeeding, or they simply prefer not to have to worry about anything other than building their newly renovated family.
The ideal visit It has these characteristics: it is announced, it is short (about 20-30 minutes), it does not start later than seven in the evening so as not to interrupt the routine of baths, massages, etc., and to avoid the witching hourBut there's more: baby and mother must build a bond, and mother must find herself in the role of mother. She'll surely have questions, but her instinct will answer many of them. Even if you have experience as a mother or father, let her ask you questions before suggesting or advising. Support rather than judge, encourages her to improve herself rather than pointing out her mistakes.
In any case, if you really want to help ask how you can do it. Sometimes we have a hard time realizing that more than leaving the baby in someone else's arms, the new mother might want you to bring her a cooked meal, or do some laundry, if there's trust, of course. If you're not related but have a good relationship with the parents, it might be enough to listen without rushing, there are many things to share and many pending vents.
Did I mention picking up the baby? Yes, I did: they're irresistible, but even though you'd love to hold him, ask first, and above all, do not encourage it to be passed from arm to arm. Now he is in the middle of an 'idyll' with his mother, and if you ask for sure you will not find opposition from anyone, but take it for good, no.
When is the best time to visit a newborn? Hospital and home
Professionals who assist births recommend simple guidelines to avoid intrusion. Avoid the first 24 hours It's usually the most respectful option: the mother is tired, the baby is adjusting to the world, and the couple needs silence and privacy. If you can't go to the hospital, don't compensate by going home on the first day: Parents are landing and getting everything organized.
Privacy is key. Even if you are very close family, respect “little moments alone” so that the couple and baby can quietly get to know each other. If you're in the maternity ward, go for a short walk when the mother wants to rest, have skin-to-skin contact, or start breastfeeding.
If you can't visit in person, show your care with a short message and specifically congratulations and offer help. If you call, do so sparingly: if they don't answer, do not insistSend a WhatsApp and wait for the family to set the pace.
A useful guideline at home too: spaced visits and one at a time are better. Avoid more than two people meeting at a time and keep the environment calm. Parents will appreciate your understanding if they need to postpone the visit for a week.
Finally, remember that newborns have an immature immune system. If you have a cold, cough, or discomfort, postpone your visitAnd if you lived with someone who was sick, wait a few days and let them know in advance.
Hygiene, health and calm: basic rules for not disturbing others
- Wash your hands before entering, and if they offer you gel, use it. Avoid kissing the baby and don't put your face near their hands.
- No intense perfumes nor scented creams: they can irritate your skin or overwhelm your sense of smell.
- Don't wake the baby To introduce him. Sleep is golden postpartum; if he's asleep, watch him quietly and enjoy the moment without touching him.
- Minimizes noise: Speak in a low voice, silence your cell phone, and avoid laughter or loud exclamations.
- If a shot matches, withdraw discreetly or wait outside. Establishing breastfeeding requires calm and minimal distractions.
- Ask if you can take photos and, if they give you permission, avoid flash. Do not post images on social media without parental consent.
Tips if you are a visitor: details that make a difference
Before going, ask permission and agree on a time. The best visit is brief, friendly, and self-contained. If you're welcomed, arrive on time and avoid staying longer than half an hour unless invited to stay.
Arriving, congratulate the mother and ask him how he feels. Avoid comments about his appearance or unpleasant phrases. What he needs most is empathy and encouragement, no ratings.
If you are offered to hold the baby, wash your hands first and hold the baby calmly. Don't diagnose If he cries ("he's hungry," "he's cold"). Return him to his parents if he's fussy and offer your help.
It has a practical detail: homemade food in freezer-ready containers, washed fruit, herbal teas, or hygiene products they've requested. For older siblings, a story or sticker can help keep them from feeling left out. bulky stuffed animals and, if you buy clothes, better with a gift receipt; another option is the photo albums.
A useful note: avoid searching baby lookalikes in a branch of the family, let alone comparisons. Every birth is unique, and what matters is the well-being of the mother and child.
You are a future mother, or a future father ... and there is little time for you to meet your baby
It is very important that you have the ability to organize visits, remember to tell them not to come see you until at least 24 hours have passed; remember that while you are in the hospital it is better for them to come alone immediate family members or close friends.
Once you are at home, if you have an extended family and you let each one show up whenever they want, it can happen to you as it happened to me almost 12 years ago: on the day of discharge from the hospital, the house became a hive of people coming and going They only came to watch, to give their opinion and to make me nervous. If there are many who want to go You can wait until the second day of being home and reserve a time for them to go at the same time, as long as they know and accept that the visit will be short.
Once they have met the baby, they have checked that you are okay, they will have to call before when they want to return
Fortunately, the paternity leave Even though it's not ideal these days, it's longer than it was a few years ago. Dad will have to take care of the guests for the first few days. You can buy plastic cups and plates and paper napkins in advance. You don't have to organize a picnic, but you can invite people for coffee or tea, and you can also take out some pastries from the cupboard.
When you have the baby, you can take advantage of other people's experience, but take the initiative and ask yourselvesOn the other hand, it will be good for you to leave home, but you are the ones who organize the time. Ah! And let me not forget, if you are not first timers, put a little common sense in the others who may not have fallen into the detail: if they are going to bring a blanket, a welcome basket or anything for the baby, what give something to your brothers too (a story, a nice pen, a doll ... depending on age).
Many of the things that I have mentioned seem impossible to achieve because we believe that it can be offensive to announce to the family that they cannot make an unannounced visit, and that you do not want advice, but a lunch box. However think that when things are said politely, chances are high that they will be well accepted.
Organize and communicate your rules clearly
Before giving birth, sit down and agree on some things. simple rules for all visits. Decide on time slots (for example, 11:00 a.m. to 13:00 p.m. and 17:00 p.m. to 19:00 p.m.), the approximate duration, and whether you prefer one visit at a time. The other adult can act as “friendly goalkeeper”: Answer calls, confirm schedules, and say goodbye on time and politely.
Define what moments you want in absolute privacy (feeding, diaper change, bath). If this moment comes during a visit, get up, go to another room, and close the door naturally. This is usually enough to ensure no one interrupts.
Prepare a standard response for unexpected visitors: "We're so excited for you to meet the baby. Today isn't a good time; would you like to text you tomorrow to schedule a time?" It's honest, respectful and firm.
Please provide the "what to bring" information for anyone who asks: meals that heat up in two minutes, washed fruit, bread and milk, diapers of the current size, or unscented wipes. Anyone who wants to help is grateful. specific indications.
If there are older siblings, agree on whether there will be details for them And ask visitors to avoid talking about “jealousy” or asking, “Do you love your little sister/brother?” It’s better to focus on their role: “Thank you for showing us where the stories are.”
Calls, messages, and photos: digital etiquette for postpartum
The first warning may be a short message (time of birth and that they are okay). If you receive the news, respond kindly and offer help. If you call, limit your attempts: once or twice is enough. If they don't answer, do not insist; send a WhatsApp and wait for a time to be proposed.
If you are sent photos or videos, enjoy them privately. Do not share or publish without permission of the parents. And when you visit, avoid flash and ask before photographing the baby.
Grandparents and extended family: loving boundaries
Grandparents are often very supportive, but the rules must be the same for everyone in schedules, duration, and hygiene. If they really help (cook, clean, bathe, hold while the mother showers), they have "special pass”. Even so, it's a good idea to arrange breaks without visitors so the new family can breathe.
Avoid overstimulation: calm for the baby and for you
Too many visitors, voices and smells can overwhelm the baby and cause stressed babies. That can be translated in the afternoon into more intense crying or difficulty falling asleep. Reducing stimuli, respecting their rhythms, and prioritizing family embrace and skin-to-skin contact helps regulate sleep.
Whenever you feel like it and the pediatrician has recommended it, go out for a walk. short walks: They help to air out, to move the body and for the baby to get to know the world for a while, without stress. If he is restless or unable to sleep, seek support and guidelines to handle it.
The best visit is the one that extreme calmShe leaves food, asks what you need, doesn't give her opinion without being asked, and knows how to leave on time. This attitude protects the mother's emotional health, fosters bonding with the baby, and makes this beginning more enjoyable for everyone.
