In recent years we are "Getting used to" to have to attend a new reality where the political problems between the great and small powers are translated into attacks, televised wars, attacks, movements of refugees fleeing their countries and an implicit emotional charge, which not only have an impact on us, the Adults. Also Our children are indirect witnesses of all this sadness that is happening in the world.
How do you talk to children about something as irrational as a terrorist attack? About war? About the deaths of children drowning at sea while trying to find a better life in other countries? Is not easyHowever, we must be very clear about one thing: children realize many more things than we thinkAnd the impact, the way they process these images, can be traumatic. Let's look at it in detail in "Mothers Today."
We cannot protect our children from everything they see and receive from the media
If there's one thing we would like, it's to protect our children From all evil, from all problematic situations, and even from those negative emotions they might receive from external sources. Many parents, for example, prevent their children from watching television, taking care that they don't see images full of violence, which news programs sometimes "drop in" almost without warning.
Is this of any use? AbsolutelyOur society is shaped by the media, by information flowing through multiple channels that we cannot control. And children, whether we like it or not, have access to all of it. Whether through television, the internet, or mobile phones, they will eventually become aware of the social realities we live in today. We cannot prevent it that they are aware of news such as the recent attack in Paris, the events in Lebanon, or the deaths of children in migration flows.
- The president of «Child Mind Institute» tells us that it is necessary to speak with our children immediately when news comes of this kind of impact.
- We must encourage children Say what you feel, what they think about what they see.
- It is necessary to understand how they process what happens. In this way, we will discover, for example, if They are afraid, if they think they too may be in danger.
- It is therefore not a question of closing the television, sending them to their room or avoiding talking about certain things in their presence. Children sense it. Y It will always be better if they see that news at our company. than in the solitude of their electronic devices or their friends.
Pay attention to emotions and validate them without minimizing them.
Any catastrophe, natural or man-made, is Horrible for children and adultsMinimizing the situation with phrases like "it's nothing" doesn't provide real calm. Instead, it sends a false message. realistic but serene, validates with expressions like "it's normal to feel this way" and makes it clear that They are safe in its immediate surroundings.
Find time and space to share
Try to be available and provide additional attention in the days following a disaster. Not only to talk about what happened, but also to share everyday moments. This brings emotional security and reduces rumination. If a child wants to bring up the topic at an inopportune moment, you can kindly suggest changing the setting: «What you're saying is important; how about we find a quiet place to talk about it together?«.
Not everyone responds the same way: observe the behavior
Age and personality influence how they express distress. A young child may ask to sleep with their parentsAn older child might try to avoid school, while a teenager might show more. irritabilityIt allows the little ones recreate the experience through play to regain a sense of control, in the same way that an adult converses and shares their experience.
Control your exposure to news and images
Some news is not suitable for children. Limit the repeated exposure Show them shocking images and help them process what they see and hear. They may believe a distant disaster is happening. could happen to them immediately, or conversely, feel invulnerable. Accompany, contextualize, and remember that Most of the people affected surviveemphasizing that at that moment they are safe.
Pay attention to what you receive through social media.
Many children and teenagers consume information privately on their mobile phones. Without media literacy education, they are more exposed to... damage and misinformationShow interest in their sources, explain to them how verify what's circulating and what to do about it rumors or graphic content that disturb them.
If the disaster is imminent: additional support
If the disaster was nearby or affected your community, the reactions may last longer. In those cases, Consider psychological counseling To reduce long-term effects, maintain predictable routines and activates support in family, school and community.
Take care of your own emotions and offer safety to your children
This aspect is essential. Our children will process what they see. in a more or less traumatic way, depending on the impact on their parents. In other words, if they see us cry, speak with fear and negativity, children will internalize those same emotions. fear, threat e helplessness.
We know that hiding the realities of the world from our children won't do us any good. However, something we must control as much as possible is the the way those images impact us.
- Avoid large expressionsAvoid alarming them or crying excessively. Stay calm, express your sadness calmly. That way, our children will be less affected.
- The children pick up signs If adults see us anxious, they will become anxious.
- It's vital that you offer them a sense of security. That their immediate environment, their daily life, won't change, that is safe now safe and loved.
- Talk to them before going to sleep and probe the state of their emotions and thoughts. Sometimes children may have irrational fears (What if they kidnap me? What if they put a bomb in my house?) Answer each question calmly without making fun of yourself and act with conviction, closeness and balance. Offer them security in your words and above all, in your gestures.
Adult self-care and support network
In order to sustain, we first need support usSeek out opportunities to talk with other adults, limit your own continuous exposure to the news, get enough sleep, and lean on others. family, friends and communityWhen caregivers feel ready, the children cope better the situation.
Psychological first aid at home: observe, listen and connect
Psychological first aid is a simple and effective resourceThey can be summarized in three steps:
- Observe: detects signs of distress (crying, trembling, irritability) and ensures a calm environment.
- EscucharIt allows them to express themselves without interruption, with open-ended questions such as "How are you feeling?" or "What worries you the most?"
- ConnectOffer a calm presence, get down to their level, and use supportive phrases like "I'm here with you"; allow objects of comfort (toy, blanket).
How to filter and present information
The AAP recommends that adults filter the information and present it in language that the child can understand assimilateStart by asking what they've heard and what questions they have. Avoid graphic details, and if they've seen the news, even better. preview them And watch them with them, pausing to comment. With teenagers, agree on limits and encourage... own criteria when consuming content.
Talk to our children about disasters according to their ages
It is clear that it is not going to be the same to talk with a 3-year-old child as with our pre-adolescent son. Nevertheless, Nor should we fall into error thinking that because they are very young they won't realize, or that because they are already teenagers, it is no longer worth talking to them because, supposedly, "they already know how the world works".
That's a mistake. As a mother, it's essential that you attend to your children at any age, that you always establish a appropriate emotional communicationIt's not enough to simply tell them, "Nothing's going to happen here." Fear knows no age, and helplessness can take hold in any of our children.
Children under 5 years: Do not use. Children XNUMX yeras to XNUMX years: XNUMX packet every XNUMX hours.
Children under five years old They tend to confuse facts with fears. Hence, the most important thing is above all mind our gesturesIf they see you cry, they'll be scared. If they see injured or dead children on television, they'll identify with them and be frightened.
Experts recommend limiting these types of images as much as possible. A 3-year-old child will not access the Internet by himself or see this news in the nursery. We are at an age where it is still possible for us to "limit access" to this type of news. However, remember that It's always best not to give them more details. of what they ask for or inquire about.
Use a language simple and to the point To explain what a "catastrophe" is without scaring people: "Sometimes things happen that hurt many people, like a big storm; that's why firefighters and doctors They're going to help"Maintain routines, offer physical contact If they seek it out, use free play or drawing to help them express emotions.
Children between 6 and 12 years old
Most psychologists agree on this idea: "Children, from the age of 6 or 7, are aware of what is happening in their immediate context and what they see on television. And they have many questions."
As parents, we're going to have to focus on them and their emotional well-being. Keep in mind that every child is uniqueSo the same strategies won't work for one brother as for another.
- Daniel Goleman, an expert as you already know in emotional matters, tells us that children often have undeclared fears and concerns. They are deep anxieties that we are going to have to identify.
- Communication, letting them talk, or asking them questions about what they think or feel is never enough. You must pay attention to their drawings, games and restIf you notice that he is having nightmares, or that he is not resting properly, talk to him.
- It's not about "interrogating" but rather to create situations in which their deepest fears surface. The most important thing will always be that they see us calm. That we go about our daily lives normally and without fear. That we we feel safe.
Always start by asking. what do they already know and what they have understood; correct myths clearly and without drama. You can include activities that give them back control, such as preparing a small family plan for emergencies (contact numbers, meeting point), which usually reduces anxiety.
Teens
Adolescence brings more questions and increased social media use. It facilitates open dialogues and delves into causes and contexts (for example, extreme weather events or conflicts), fostering critical thinkingHelp them identify reliable sources and the impact of misinformation. Avoid trivializing your concerns about the future and channel your energy towards constructive actions (volunteering, school projects, sustainable habits) that nurture hope.
Agree on limits for their exposure to graphic content and acknowledge their need for autonomy: guide them, don't over-control them. If they want to watch the news, suggest watching it together and pause to comment what they feel and think.
Children with developmental disabilities and ASD
Adapt the explanations to level of development and not chronological age. In ASD, hugs may not soothe; resort to what It has already worked before (deep pressure, quiet corner, visual routines). Present the information in short steps and visual aids (pictograms, schedules) and anticipates changes in routine in advance.
Warning signs and when to ask for help
It's not easy to tell. between a normal reaction to an abnormal event and the need for extra support. Be vigilant if you observe:
- Sleeping problems: difficulty falling or staying asleep, nightmares, fear of the dark.
- Quejas fÃsicas: headache, stomach ache, tiredness without medical cause.
- behavioral changesRegressions, irritability, isolation, school refusal, risky behaviors; in adolescents, substance use.
- Emotional signals: intense sadness, persistent anxiety, panic attacks, catastrophic thoughts.
Don't wait for symptoms to escalate. Start the conversation soon And if they persist or interfere with your daily life, consult your doctor. pediatrician or with a mental health professional at the school or in your community.
Frequently asked questions you may be asked and how to answer them
- Could it happen here? Suggested answer: "It's unlikely right now and we are readyWe live in a safe place and emergency teams work to take care of us.
- Why do these disasters happen? "Some are natural, like very strong storms; others are caused by people. The important thing is to learn from them and help us«.
- What happens to people who have lost their homes? "There is organizations and neighbors who help them with shelter, food and clothing, and little by little they rebuild their lives."
If they don't want to talk, don't forceLet them know you're available and revisit the topic when you notice openness or signs of concern appear.
How to manage news, images, and social alarm
The repetition of images can make children believe that the event It happens again.Limit screen time, avoid graphic content, and accompany them whenever possible. Help them participate in community responses (collection of materials, letters of support), which transforms helplessness into solidarity.
Preparedness and a sense of control
Being prepared reduces anxiety. Check your Family plan In case of emergencies, keep a small Gift Sets (flashlight, water, electrical outlets) and playfully practice what to do in case of emergency. Simple actions like these generate to maximise security and your enjoyment. in children and adults.
In today's interconnected world, and in a changing and sometimes complex society where violence and tragedy are more prevalent than we realize, it's essential to protect our children in every way. And in this case, protecting them doesn't mean "hiding" information, but rather showing them that they shouldn't be afraid, that they should grow up feeling secure, learning to... be a good person to make this world a much better place.
To understand this reality, we invite you to Watch this wonderful interview which will undoubtedly move you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwNJ62-Z5LU
Talking to children about disasters and crises is not about scaring them or hiding things, but about accompany with honestyTo calmly contain the situation and educate children in empathy, critical thinking, and solidarity. With time to listen, appropriate limits on media use, an age-appropriate strategy, and an active support network, most children will thrive. It regains its security and learn valuable tools to cope with life.