Older people already have the capacity for self-regulation of many of the fears that haunt us. But children still do not have that self-control and it is in the hands of the parents the responsibility of being able to help for that fear to cease to exist. Perhaps it is logical to think that we have the best tools to offer our support, but in other cases we do not know what to do so that children are not afraid.
We must not forget that being afraid is part of us and in children is represented as a healthy solution that is part of their growth. But sometimes this kind of fear about unrealistic things can lead to disturb that little one's fear and perhaps that threat will not become real. At this point parents should find a way to work those fears with self-regulation skills.
What can we do so that children are not afraid?
We have to offer them the advantage that they feel fear and practice that situation, although we know that it is easier said than done. We always go out to help them in anguish to be able to reassure them and it is here, although it may not seem like it, where in these situations there is overprotection.
In all the ways that your child may feel fear, it is a feeling that can exist even in older people, although in a different way. It is because of that never ridicule that moment, since the child will not feel understood, will believe that it is strange, will feel lack of affection and even more insecurity.
Ask him why he is afraid
To do an analysis of the situation is to visualize in concrete what are they afraid of. Ask specific questions about why you are afraid: Why are you afraid to the darkness? Why are you afraid of a person? Are you surprised to see a dog up close? In particular, there are many fears that can exist: to be alone, to some animals and insects, to go to the doctor, to the heights, to go to school, to monsters ...
Comfort with words that kind of terror, believe what it tells you and feel empathy. This comforts them a lot, but the child must be encouraged that this fear must be worked on. To do this, let him or her share that you have to be brave and begin to manage that fear, even if it is as a team.
Don't force him to face his fears in a radical way
You have to face your fears, but not radically. Do not force your child to do what he does not want, you will provoke much more fear and anxiety. You have to make him face it gradually so that you both feel proud of the advance.
Help him cope with that fear, but don't lie to him either. Do not tell him that nothing will happen, or that he will fear when he will experience it later. Make him face that situation with courage, if he is afraid to go to school accompany him until he feels comfortable and if he is afraid to inject a vaccine he must face it with courage.
If we also feel anguish or fear because of that fear we are not setting a good example. You have to show that you have to be brave, without obligations to face abruptly, but yes doing it little by little.
Always encourage him to do it with a good character and positivism. Also, reward him when there is good progress. If his fear was of being alone in a room and he has been made to stay for a while, satisfy his effort with words such as: Very good for your achievement! I loved it! Tomorrow you will surely manage to stay a little longer; You can do it! O You are being very brave!
On the other hand, we will observe that not all fears are the same, if the child feels fear you don't have to face it with great need. If the fear is because he does not want to go to school or go to a park because there are dogs, you have to add techniques so that he can relax and agree to become brave. On the contrary, you do not want to watch scary movies or are afraid of heights, you do not have to overcome it, since they do not interfere with your daily life. If you notice that his fear overcomes you, creates obsessions or it turns out to be much more serious, we can always speak to a professional.