A family that has the father working away is hard for everyone since the woman will miss her husbandThe father is away from home, and the baby will grow up without a father's presence at home on a daily basis. But many families are currently experiencing this difficult situation due to work, the circumstances are many and very different, but the emotional pain is the same in all cases.
In these cases it is essential find some routines to create an emotional bond between a father and children even in the distance. If it is done consistently, it can be achieved, so today I want to give you some tips for you and your family.
When a parent starts working outside the home it usually takes a while to adapt to the new situation And you need to find routines that work for everyone. Children may have different understandings of the situation depending on their age, but you'll need to think about your children individually. to be able to create the bond equally.
Below I leave you some ideas that you will have to adapt according to the age of your children so that the bond with the father who works far from home is not damaged:
- Create a calendar to show the days left for the father to return home. So that it does not get too long, you can create a calendar like the ones for the wind, with surprises inside for each day of waiting.
- Talk to the father every day at the same time through a video call or Skype, as well will be able to share experiences while they see each other for a while.
- Put photos around the house of everyone together to remember love every day that exists between family members.
- When the father is at home, do activities togetherIt doesn't have to be expensive. Sometimes the simplest routines are the most fulfilling, such as watching a movie together with popcorn, having pizza for dinner once a week, etc.
Although it is a difficult situation to the parents, also for children and that is why we must try to make it as bearable as possible.
Attachment and security when one parent is away
On the first years, the attachment is maintained with at least one sensitive figure that responds to the baby's needs. The primary caregiver's proximity, protection, and emotional connection provide a secure base from which the child can explore the world, even when the parent is away for work.
To foster a strong attachment, the person in charge each day should try to: fast and sensitive response with cries and signs; warmth and affectionate treatment; daily physical contact; attunement to moods; response to baby social initiatives (sounds, smiles, babbling); and a reaction proportionate and consistent before the signs (neither excessive nor insufficient).
How to keep your father present from a distance
So that the child does not perceive the father as a stranger, it is advisable that the absent parent be a significant and close figure in everyday life: short and frequent calls and video calls, voice messages and photos with scenes from everyday life. The mother or caregiver can name the father daily, tell the little one what he/she is doing and remind him/her that he/she loves him/her.
It works very well to have on hand Family photos, audio clips with the father's voice, short videos for the child, and a special object associated with the father (a dedicated story, a T-shirt with his scent). If the child is already speaking, this is key. give space to your emotions and validate what he or she feels; when the father returns, actively engaging in routines and caregiving strengthens the bond.
Routines, technology and quality of time
Establish fixed contact times so that the child anticipates the meeting: a “day and time of call” creates security. Not everything should be questions; avoid interrogations and focus on meaningful conversations and shared games.
Some ideas: see the same series at a time and comment on it, read stories by video call or send audios with stories for bedtime, cooking “together” each from their kitchen, playing cooperative games online, or creating a shared calendar with milestones of the week.
Also, when you are in person, prioritize the full presence: Mobile phones off the table and 100% attention. Comply with the promises (no matter how small) is vital for trust; keeping photos and videos of encounters creates memories that sustain the wait.
Emotional signs to watch out for in children and adults
Distance can generate in the father sadness, anguish and worry; for those who provide daily care, the role of "nagging" often becomes overloaded. Maintaining communication between adults prevents misunderstandings and reduces tension.
Changes in behavior may occur in children: decreases or increases in appetite, sleep problems, rebellion or hyperactivity, sadness, apathy or isolation, irritability, increased tantrums, and decreased school performance. These reactions require early attention and emotional support.
If you detect signs of anxiety or depression that persist, look for professional support. Timely accompaniment prevents physical distancing from becoming emotional distance.
Coordination between parents and new caregivers
The long-distance father should coordinate with the mother or primary caregiver to agree on rules, roles and decisions important. Take an interest in everyday life (school, friends, health) and maintain a tone of mutual respect prevents the child from feeling divided.
It is essential not to speak badly of the other parent in front of the child and to ask the caregivers to accompany without trying to replace to the parents. With tact and coherence, the child processes temporary absence better without guilt or resentment.
Before leaving for work: planning as a family
If the trip can be planned, it is advisable to explain to the child, according to his age, why separation occurs, how long it might last and how contact will be maintained. Agree on who stays, what responsibilities that person will have and how everyday disagreements will be resolved.
It is also useful to define alternative plans (if times or circumstances change) and prepare a “proximity kit” with letters, audios and videos For moments of longing. Clarity reduces anxiety and strengthens the sense of family team.
Creating and maintaining the bond when a parent works far away is possible if combined sensitivity in daily care, constant presence through technology, predictable routines and good coordination between adults; with these pillars, distance does not break emotional closeness.