Shyness is a common feature in many children. It is a personality trait that directly affects social relationships. It can lead children to be more withdrawn, insecure, have trouble maintaining relationships with other children, or find it difficult to express their feelings. Let's see how you can help your child overcome his shyness and gain confidence.
Shyness in children
It is a feature that we see many times. Children who hide behind their mother in front of a stranger, or who find it difficult to participate in group games with other children. Shyness can appear from the first year of life, and more from the age of 3 when they start school. About 15% of children under 6 years of age are shy, and by adolescence this percentage rises to almost 50% with all the insecurities that this stage brings.
A child can be born shy because of temperament. But it can also be done as a result of living certain negative situations that have made them lose confidence and security, due to their parents' education or seeing it at home (if the parents are shy, they can learn this behavior).
Being shy is not bad, within limits. It can even be beneficial at times, as shy children are more observant, analytical, and cautious. First they observe and then they act. It usually disappears on its own with time. But if the degree of shyness is such that it prevents you from relating correctly with others, prefers solitude to being with friends or always expects others to tell you what to do, then it can be considered a pathological problem and you should ask for help .
How to help your child overcome his shyness
There are a series of tips that we can do so that your child will gain in security and confidence, and not reinforce his limiting behaviors. Let's see what they are:
Do not force him to relate
The worst thing you can ask a shy child is to stop being shy. If you force or force him to do behaviors or to live in situations in which he is not comfortable, it will reinforce his insecurities. Don't insist that they stop, punish or criticize them. On many occasions, when parents want to help, what we provoke is to aggravate the problem due to ignorance.
Create opportunities for them to network
A less aggressive strategy is to invite children his age home, which is a safe environment for him and will not be so abrupt, to sign him up to an extracurricular activity that the child likes, to have dinner / lunch with other families that have children his age , or just take it to the park. You can accompany him at the beginning so that he feels more comfortable and that he relaxes.
Encourage him to be the same
Don't tell him how he has to be or how he should behave. It is about getting social skills that help you in your relationships with other people, not about becoming someone else. Accept him as he is.
Don't put labels on it
Shyness denotes insecurity, if we constantly tell him how shy and withdrawn he is, we will only make him identify more with that label. Your job is to support him and treat him naturally.
Avoid both overprotection and authoritarianism
Neither extreme is good on the subject of education. As we saw above, the educational style of parents can make a child shy. Both authoritarianism with its continuous demands, and overprotectiveness with its obsession to pave the way, can cause insecurities in children that affect their social relationships. Children have to be educated in a friendly environment, which provides them with security but without avoiding uncomfortable situations or they will not learn to manage their resources.
Educate by example
If you see that their parents have a sociable behavior with others, children will see it and learn it naturally.
Congratulate him on his achievements
Every victory is an achievement to be celebrated. What is normal for an outgoing child for a shy child is quite a challenge. Congratulate him on his positive behaviors, it will make him gain self-confidence and self-esteem.
Because remember ... being shy is not a bad thing, but with a series of tools we can significantly improve our social skills.