Monsters under the bed, lightning and thunder, darkness. All boys feel childhood fears, whether to real or imaginary things. And as they grow, so do their worries: fit in with their peers, perform in school o excel in sportsMost parents manage to comfort their children and lessen their fears, but in some cases anxiety stops being normal and it becomes a disorder.
A boy doesn't want to eat because he's afraid of choking; another is afraid of animals; a little girl refuses to go to school because she's terrified of being away from her mother all day. Fortunately, Parents have various means at their disposal to help your children to control anxiety.
“Worry is part of the growth and maturation process,” says Marie Cumming, a marriage and family therapist in Waterloo, Canada. “It’s normal and even healthy for kids to worry a little, because it acquire tools to face challenges. Getting nervous before performing in a school play or before taking an important exam motivates children to try hard and give your best".
Minor concerns help to build character and pose challenges from which they can learn. There are also worries that, instead of offering a challenge, actually distress them. A child with such an anxiety cannot face what they fear; for example, a knot in their stomach prevents them from getting out of the car just before a crucial soccer game. Children who suffer from this type of anxiety need more help than the others (and perhaps also that of a child psychologist).
As a child, Amanda Sprague* clung to her parents around strangers, slept with the door open and the hall light on, and was terrified of insects. Her parents thought that, at her age, none of this was abnormal. “But When he started going to school, his anxieties multiplied and intensified."," says Laura,* her mother. When a storm hit, the little girl would curl up in bed, paralyzed with terror, and once when she saw two cockroaches on the ceiling of her room, she ran out screaming and refused to go back to sleep there.
Food also caused him a lot of anxiety, as he was terrified of choking. When he was eight years old, one day he stopped eating“She said she couldn't swallow and had something stuck in her throat,” Laura says. “Our doctor ruled out an infection, and an X-ray showed she had no physical problems.” Amanda was so distressed that her throat had closed up, making it difficult for her to swallow.
Days later, Amanda developed a intense fear of dying. At bedtime, she would scream because her heart felt like it was beating too fast. She was then admitted to a hospital, where she was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.
Amanda's case is extreme, but it exemplifies the serious problem that many children and adolescents face. It is estimated that relevant percentage of boys suffer from some anxiety disorder, and others present moderate problems. Children often suffer in silence because they don't understand what's happening to them or can't explain their feelings. Parents, for their part, may overlook their children's anxiety, minimize it, or misinterpret the symptoms, as children express anxiety in a variety of ways; for example, by showing excessive shyness, irritability and even rebellion.
" early detection It is vital. Chronic anxiety can cause low self-esteem, insecurity, depression, difficulty forming healthy relationships, and even lead to suicide in children,” says Barbara Ward, a social worker and co-director of kidsLink, a children’s mental health center based in Saint Agatha, Canada. Abnormal anxiety during childhood increases the likelihood of emotional disorders y problematic consumption in adulthood.
Evolutionary Fears: What to Expect by Age
It is normal for fears typical of each stage to appear throughout development. In babies responses to loud noises and loss of support are observed. Among the 6 and 12 months, fear of strangers and separation from attachment figures emerges. In preschoolers, imagination increases and fears arise darkness, monsters y fantastic beings. In school age, imaginary fears diminish and more realistic ones appear: injure, storms, fires o enfermedades. In preteens and teens predominate the social fears (ridiculous, public speaking, peer evaluation), the academic performance and concerns about injustices o adverse events.
These fears are usually transitory and are remitted with family support. It is worrying when they become very intense, persistent or interfere with daily routines such as going to school, sleeping alone or interacting with other children.
When to talk about phobias and anxiety disorders
The phobias They are intense and irrational fears that lead to avoidance and cause significant discomfort. Among the most common conditions in childhood and adolescence are:
- Separation anxiety: disproportionate fear of being separated from caregivers, with school refusal, anticipatory discomfort, tantrums y physical symptoms (abdominal pain, nausea). It usually intensify in the morning or on the eve of school and improve on weekends or holidays.
- specific phobias (animals, darkness, storms, blood-injections-damage): shoot immediate anxiety and avoidance. The call school phobia It implies a refusal to go to the center due to situations or people related to it.
- Social phobia: anxiety in situations where the child is afraid be evaluated or make a fool of yourself. It can limit Friends, class participation y annual.
- Generalized anxiety disorder: worry excessive and persistent on multiple topics (school, social approval), with insomnia, irritability y somatic complaints.
- Panic attacks: unexpected crises with tachycardia, tremor, shortness of breath y fear of losing control, which can lead to avoiding going out for fear of another crisis.
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): obsessions (intrusive thoughts) and compulsions (rituals to relieve anxiety), such as repeated washing or checking, which are time-consuming and interfere with the school operation and family. A living piece from the golden years of Marbella in La Virginia Urbanization.
- Posttraumatic Stress: after a direct or observed traumatic event, they may appear re-experiences (flashbacks, nightmares), hyperalert, avoidance and behavioral changes. The response is modulated by the parents' reaction, the proximity of the event and the child's age.
Warning signs and how to detect them
Be alert if your child's fears: persist outside the expected stage, they are very intensecause tantrums or avoid key activities (school, sleep alone or interact with other children). Also if they appear physical symptoms without medical cause (stomach pain, tachycardia, dizziness), if the discomfort is greater before going to school and improves on vacation, or if there is isolation and sudden changes in performance or behavior.
At school, after critical situations that affect the community, teachers can organize spaces for expression adapted to age: talking about what was seen and felt, writing or to draw and sharing in a group, always in an environment close to the usual and with coordination with families.
What parents can do: practical guidelines
- Listen and validate: Explain that many children feel fear and that, with support, is overcome.
- gradual exposure: help to face the feared stimulus little by little (e.g., going to school by staying at first for a while, then reducing the presence later). Short goodbyes and consistent; arrive on time for pickup.
- Do not ridicule or pressure: avoid labels or ridicule; courage is trained gradually.
- Clear routines and limits: predictable schedules reduce anxiety. Regulate consumption of screens and images disturbing and prefer educational children's films.
- Avoid reinforcing avoidance: Do not replace school with a private tutor at home to “avoid distress”; that chronic the problem.
- Praise progress: Reinforce any bold step, even a small one; you can use rewards simple.
- Software: show calm in the face of feared situations and practice together breathing y relaxation.
- Prepare for changes: Visit the new school or daycare beforehand; explain medical procedures in simple language and honest.
Effective treatments and prognosis
La cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) It is the first-line approach for childhood phobias and anxiety. It usually combines psychoeducation, gradual exposure to the feared stimulus (ideally in vivo), participant modeling, breathing training and, in older ones, restructuring of thoughts that feed fear. Parents actively participate to generalize progress home and school.
In cases where CBT is not sufficient, there is significant comorbidity or the discomfort is disabling, the professional may consider medication for a limited time, such as antidepressants that reduce anxiety and panicBenzodiazepines can be used in a punctual in crisis, always under medical supervision. Coordination with the school and continuity of the presentation are keys to avoid relapses.
The prognosis is usually favorable when there is early detection, evidence-based intervention and family and school involvement. If left untreated, there is a risk of chronification and the appearance of other anxiety or mood disorders.
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Continues in Children's Fears (Part II)
It is worth remembering that most childhood fears are part of development and an opportunity to learn coping strategies. calm presence, consistent limits and, when necessary, professional help, children can transform fear into confidence and regain the enjoyment of their daily lives.
