The main mission of some parents is to offer security to their children, within that security are included aspects as important as providing food, a safe environment and emotional stability, among others. But in addition, it is essential to offer children the necessary tools to be individual, autonomous and independent.
On the contrary, a relationship of emotional dependence is established that prevents them from growing and maturing at an adequate rate. Although for a mother or father, this dependence can translate into an excess of affection and pampering on the part of the child, the reality is that it prevents the child from being able to function freely within their social environment. Since at the moment in which it is separated from its reference person, generally the mother, the child does not have the capacity to be self-sufficient.
What is emotional dependency
Emotional dependence translates into the need to be close to the father or mother, even the person who acts as a caregiver, such as a grandmother, to feel safe and protected. That is, the child is not capable of individual activities, suffers when he has to separate even to go to school etc. It is not about being a cuddly child that requires a lot of affection, the child who has emotional dependence suffers every time he has to separate from his mother, father, grandmother, etc.
The emotionally dependent child may run the risk of not developing maturely Correctly. All children have this attachment to one of their parents, usually the mother, when they are very young. However, as they grow, they must acquire confidence and autonomy. When there is excessive attachment, the child can suffer problems to carry out their daily activities, such as going to school, doing extracurricular activities, playing in the park with other children and even having problems making friends.
Helping Your Child Be Independent: Secure Attachment
Educating your child from love, affection and understanding is not incompatible with offer you the necessary tools to develop as an individual being physically and emotionally. This will allow him to grow, learn to cope in the different situations that arise every day, counting on the love and support of his parents.
Secure attachment consists of:
- Education based on respectful parenting, physical affection, signs of affection and trust
- Offer safety to the child. Through healthy eating, a comfortable and stable home where you feel safe and protected. In addition to medical assistance, education and ultimately, everything that allows you to develop all your skills
- Family is the main emotional support of the child. The home must be a stable place, where the child can find the emotional security that allows him to fulfill himself and acquire autonomy
The child who grows up in a safe environment, where he can investigate, experiment and know the world through his own experiences, develops as an adult with confidence, security and autonomy staff.
Therefore, you must eliminate behaviors such as
- Overprotection: parents tend to overprotect their children with the intention of avoiding suffering. But this behavior produces a negative effect on the child, the little one needs freedom to discover the world for yourself. Even if he falls, gets hurt, makes a mistake on the way or discovers something he does not like, for that you will always be there, by his side.
- Limits and norms: Children need to have rules since they are not aware of where the danger is. It is one thing that they have the freedom to experiment and another that they can do anything without limits.
- Quality time: Which translates into dedicating an exclusive time to the child, be it 15 minutes or 3 hours. During that time there should be no distractions, neither the mobile, nor the television, nor the computer. In this way, you can dedicate quality time to your child and he or she will receive love, support, trust and affection in the right way.