You may think that your child is stubborn or has an overly immovable attitude in some circumstances, although you can also turn the matter around and think that your child is stubborn and persistent in the things that interest him. The word 'stubborn' can have negative connotations, but the reality is that it will only be negative if you want it to be, because it can have many positive qualities, if you know how to educate it correctly.
In this sense, I want to give you some tips so that you can educate your child within his stubbornness but at the same time be able to turn it into something positive. Because your child is stubborn does not mean that he is disobedient or that he wants to test youIt just means that you have your own thinking and your own way of thinking… and that's wonderful!
You may have ever thought that other children can be nice, that they are easy to get along with and that they are also cordial… but that there are other children who are the opposite. If your child is in the group 'quite the opposite, you may feel that their interactions with others are problematic. Maybe you feel like you have to fight every time it comes to bath time, bedtime or as if every conversation with your little one was a little pitched war.
You should know from the outset, that You will not be able to modify this for your child, but there are some strategies that you can use to make your child more receptive to what you say and therefore, become more cooperative every day and above all, feel capable of listening to you at all times. But how can you manage to educate your son who you consider to be stubborn?
Listen to your son
You need to listen to your child. Stubborn or rebellious children tend to have strong preferences and they are also things that they are very clear about. If your child is upset that you have made a decision without consulting him beforehand, you should realize this and reduce the frequency with which you act in a dictatorial way at home. save this for more important moments when your kids are sure not to take sides.
But on other occasions, it is necessary that you do take his opinion into account and that you also dedicate time to him so that you can listen to everything he has to say to you. If, for example, your son tells you that he doesn't want to go play with his friends, listen to his reasons. Don't force your child to do something he doesn't want to do. Sometimes just negotiating is enough to make a situation win-win for everyone.
Have a positive attitude
Instead of supporting the claim or using a negative and demanding form of communication, you need to use a positive, encouraging form of communication. For example instead of saying:'If you don't clean your room, you won't see the movie', it is better to say another positive phrase with the same meaning such as: "As soon as you clean your room, you can go see the movie." Do you notice the difference between a negative attitude where the word 'no' predominates too much and a positive attitude that uses motivation as a base?
Distraction and options
It is important that you distract the child with options. Children like to choose and feel in control. Young children are hardly in control of things because it is the adults who are in charge of organizing their lives, for that reason, The little options that you are able to choose in your life can make a difference.
This is a way of getting children to do what you want but for them to choose to do it. For example, instead of telling your child to nap, you can offer an option to do so. You can try, for example, options like: 'Would you rather sleep now or play 5 minutes before taking a nap? As you are thinking about what to choose, you will not discuss the option and then will gladly comply with the order.
Involve your child in decision making
You need to involve your child in decision-making so that they feel like they are in control again. If your child feels he has some control over his life, he may be less willing to argue against your requests. That is why it is very important to hold family meetings where your child is also part of the 'little committee'. In this way, decisions can be made as a family at these meetings. It will allow your child's opinion to influence decision-making, something that will increase his self-esteem and, best of all, he will feel valued and heard all the time.
Don't forget about emotions
It is very important that you focus on your child's emotions. You do not need to want to deal with stubbornness, but ideally you should focus on the cause that caused it. For your child to feel good, it is important that you cure the root problem. Ask your child to talk about his emotions, to tell you why he is upset. You need to help your child overcome emotional distress so that he understands his emotions.
To do this, do not hesitate to first recognize the emotions in yourself, and then recognize them in your child. It is important that you help your child understand that emotion and name it. In this way, you will feel much more capable of finding the necessary solutions to the problem that afflicts you. without having to go for behavior that is too stubborn or doesn't really bring you good feelings.
Do you think your child is a stubborn child? How do you notice it? What are your strategies to make him feel better and be able to listen to the options you give him without getting too wrapped up in his thoughts without wanting to see beyond?