Since time immemorial, punishment has been used to discipline children, thinking that even if one does not reflect on what happened, the child "knows" that the punishment is the cause of his behavior and that if he does not want to have that punishment again, he will have to modify that negative behavior. But what happens when a child is punished but he does not know the behavior he has done or does not consider it as negative as the punishment? Perhaps if this happens, the punishment is useless, the child will not learn and also will feel resentment because he will not understand why the adult makes him have a hard time.
Actually, no punishment is needed to discipline children. In fact, punishment can only make the emotional gap between parents and children bigger and therefore, that education is fractured. No father wants this, so it is important that all fathers and mothers in the world know that they can discipline their children effectively without the word “punishment” being in their parenting vocabulary.
Correct misconduct
Children can have misbehavior without knowing that it is inappropriate behavior, so it is the parents' duty that they can understand why it is bad behavior and what you can do in the future to improve that behavior ...
You don't need punishment, but you do need discipline. When you focus on punishment, you only focus on your child suffering for breaking the rules, but discipline, on the other hand, focuses on teaching that children learn to make a better decision next time.
The penalty
The punishment instills a "penalty" for the child's misbehavior. It is about making the child "pay" for the mistakes made. The father or mother is the one who decides that punishment without the child having the option to complain or think. Punishment stems from the parents' frustration at not knowing how to handle the situation in another way.
It can also be born out of desperation… A father or mother who feels compelled to scream, to take away all privileges from a child and who, despite these efforts, continues to misbehave. Try desperately to make him / her understand that he / she is the one who "rules" at home, with no other option.
Punishment is only intended to control the child but does not teach him to control himself. The worst of all is that punishment can change the child's thinking about himself ... For the worse. You may think that you are a bad child and that it is not worth trying to do things better because everyone tells you (and labels you) that you are a “bad” child, “that does not learn”. Instead of thinking that you were simply wrong, you can firmly believe that you are a bad person because others tell you so. This has dire consequences for the development of any child!
Parents who are more authoritarian or strict are the most likely to punish children. They try to inflict physical or emotional pain as suffering, but this does not help children at all. Children need guidance, flexibility and affection from their parents at all times in order to understand what they did wrong and thus be able to make better choices in the future.
Why punishments are not an option
Punishment can never be a good option because it will not tell your child how to behave properly. A child who is punished by hitting him because he hit, what does he teach him? That pasting is a good option when you are frustrated. The same goes for screaming. When he is punished without the option to reply or is taught anything else, he is only taught that he must abide by the will of the authority and is annulled as a person, can you imagine the effects that this can have on his development and on his future?
He will not learn to control himself, nor to understand his emotions ... And he will not see the need to control anger because his parents are the first ones who do not. Children will only focus on their anger and rage without understanding it and will find a way to let it out in any way and that will be through bad behavior. With punishment nothing is solved, it only gets worse.
If a child is forced to sit in a chair without knowing why and without thinking, he will only want revenge on the person who has punished him in such a way that is so unfair to him. Your emotions are not taken into account and you will not have to take into account the emotions of others now or in the future.
The discipline
On the other hand, discipline teaches children new skills such as understanding the emotions they feel in a moment of conflict, controlling their behavior and also teaching them to solve problems. They will be able to understand what uncomfortable emotions are and what they say to them at a certain moment.
They will know that learning from their mistakes is a good option and understanding emotions will help you better channel anger and disappointment. Parents should be the guides at all times to help them through the consequences of the behaviors to reflect and that in the future they are able to make (the children) a better decision in a moment of conflict.
Some discipline techniques would be the elimination of privileges, but having discussed it with the child in advance and the waiting time, but not so that he is alone, if not so that he could reflect and above all, understand what has happened with the parents' guidance. Discipline has an authoritarian approach but to be healthy it involves setting clear rules and consequences when rules are broken.
The consequences also do not have to be disproportionate and it is important that they are time sensitive. A consequence cannot be indefinite. For example, if a parent considers that a child should be left without a tablet for 24 hours when they have refused to turn it off at the time, it will be a better technique than if they take the tablet away "Until you remember."