Life is not easy, for anyone, however, there are circumstances that sometimes overwhelm us, that break us. This is especially dangerous when we are parents, since our children will pay the consequences of our own suffering.
Our children need the best version of ourselves to serve as an example for them. We cannot get carried away by our own victimhood. It is a priority to dominate our fears, our inner ghosts, to heal our wounds for their benefit and for our own benefit.
Immediate consequences of having broken parents
Broken parents can reflect their broken adult status in a number of ways. They may be in a depression and not even have the strength to pay attention to their children. They would cause a feeling of emptiness and abandonment that will make them lose trust in other people.
Depression is an invisible enemy, doing more damage than it may seem.
They may be overwhelmed by anger and frustration and may have violent behaviors. This will affect emotional stability in the home as a whole. An unstable situation would seriously impair emotional stability. It is also possible that they have some addiction problem, which leads to economic problems, apart from the emotional and social imbalance that situations of this type require.
All these possibilities have as a common link that impair the development of the child, as a consequence of the lack of satisfaction of physical and emotional needs thereof.
Psychological violence
Sometimes broken parents act unconsciously exercising psychological violence. This has its consequences.
We can say for example that Some children raised in an environment of psychological violence, will end up believing any of the insults that their parents have given them. They will be filled with negative thoughts and distrust of others. It is very difficult to trust others when the people who must protect you and take care of your needs during the most fragile stage of your life, have not done so. This causes in the child an emotional void that is difficult to recover. It is a kind of resentment towards your parent or parents, which is difficult to overcome. This feeling of lack of protection gives them a fragility that makes them susceptible to other types of more complex problems, such as the abnormal development of their social skills. It may happen that this abnormal development is reflected in three types of behavior totally different:
- Perpetrator behavior: making others victims of one's own frustration, created by the situation.
- Withdrawn behavior: the child becomes withdrawn and seeks to protect itself through isolation.
- Protective behavior: try to protect other victims, like your brother / sister, mother / father, etc.
Frail children make broken adults
All children have a series of physical and emotional needs to cover, which must be satisfied. Only then will the necessary development be achieved to turn them into strong and capable adults. Attention is one of the most important needs for a child. If he doesn't get your attention, he may grow up with some kind of physical or emotional lack. If we ignore any of these needs, the child will develop a void. You will need to fill it out and this will prevent its proper development.
Feeling the love of their parents is basic and essential for the emotional health of a child.
A child who grows up with this type of deficiency is a fragile child, who will probably go through a difficult adolescence and will eventually become a broken adult. Unless its deficiencies are covered and the damage is repaired. Remember that the children of today are the parents of tomorrow.