It's called the 'Clean Plate Club', and it's made up of moms and dads who with the best of intentions (or not?) they insist, suggest and even force their children to finish the food that is served to them. They already existed when we were little, and before that; It is probably one of those practices that they did with you and you hated, although for some strange reason you see yourself reproducing with your own children.
It is useless, not good at all That is to say: the little ones do not respond to your expectations by eating, and you try to adjust, but the 'best' you can get is that the moment of the family meal ends up being an unpleasant experience (for some children it is even terrifying). And rebound you could be contributing to thicken child overweight figures. But don't worry, there is a solution; Also, surely you are one of those who worry because you feel insecure about whether your children are feeding well.
So i will tell you that the only one who knows 'how much is enough the child', you take care that their diet is balanced and healthy, to put rations according to appetite, age and weight, and they will worry about eating. If one day they do not finish they may be sick, have more desire to drink fluids because it is hot, or it could be that you are to blame Because you gave him a bun and a horchata for a snack, and that was at 7 in the afternoon, and you have dinner at 8,30.
How normal is the dish not finished even if you reduce the portion? then you will have to put even less, and that it is the girl or the boy who asks you for more if they are left hungry. It seems easy, and it is, what happens is that parents must unlearn many things that have been transmitted to us, and understand that we form a team with our children, not being faced in a continuous fight (or should not be).
Neither force nor prohibit.
This phrase summarizes the practices to be banished from the relationship between moms / dads, food and children. If you want them to be attached to healthy eating, set an example, but above all, have healthy foods at home, many of them are appetizing (fresh fruit, nuts, corn pancakes, fresh cheese, ... in addition to the dishes you cook). You do not have to force them, the bases 'sit' in a more respectful way.
There are little ones who, when forced, resist in every possible way: they vomit, roll up their sleeves, close their mouths; there are parents who (while the little ones are still small) ignore these signs and continue to force. Imagine they did it with youIt sounds very ugly, doesn't it? Well, the same with children.
And why do I say it's not prohibited either? It turns out that when there are unhealthy foods at home (the bag of candy you got for your birthday yesterday, chocolate, two ice cream bars—it's summer now —) the worst thing you can do is forbid them to eat, because you will pique their interest, and you will make it difficult for them to regulate themselves. So, it is best not to have them, or - at least - greatly reduce their presence or restrict it to one day a week.
Mixing love with fear: no, no ...
It does not seem very appropriate, however it is what you do when you try to get them to 'eat in exchange for', when you force, when you think that you know more than your child's body. In addition to the more directly related problems, It turns out that your children have emotions, and some are difficult to manage. Overeating is a 'safety valve', turn to drugs years later, too; Maybe you don't see the relationship, maybe it doesn't, but I wanted to throw this idea out because sometimes by forcing them to eat what they don't feel like eating, or when they don't fit, we can be dangerously activating these mechanisms.
The child is the only one who knows when there is enough.
Here is a selection of the most popular food-related phrases in Spanish homes:
- "Don't you finish the lentils (change chickpeas for beans or rice)?"
- "Come on, a little more and you will have earned dessert (?)"
- "I'm going to get angry: in this house you eat what you put on the plate."
This is one of the most surprising rhetorical questions I have ever heard: Obviously if the little one leaves food behind, it means he doesn't finish it .
Let's see, dessert is not necessary, it is just a custom, Turn it into a prize? that's a bad idea because you get caught up in a trap: they will demand dessert from you wherever you are, and if in exchange for the dish you give them a very caloric dessert (cake, ice cream, ...) children could get fat.
Second problem with this phrase: 'a little more' is MORE than your daughter or son can, because if I had wanted everything I would have finished it. Don't you know any overweight adults because they have been used to overeating in their childhood? Well that!
So at once, it seems a bit cruel to threaten annoyance to a child for a matter of leaving the plate clean. Love and a smile are the best drivers of a good family relationship.
And yes, they are the ones who know when their stomachs fill up, if you interfere in this you will cause such a distortion that they could continue eating for many years without hunger, can you imagine the consequences?
Children who don't want to eat and if you don't force them, they won't eat?
They are non-existent, look at these two situations that adjust to reality, or how children live it:
I don't feel like finishing my plate.
As I mentioned before, it shouldn't be a problem, as long as you don't substitute the chickpeas for a sandwich of cocoa cream spread. If they are not hungry they should not eat, if they feel like something else, open the refrigerator and have a banana, a piece of bread.
And won't it be bad if you allow them to reject? From freedom many good decisions are born: You should not cook alternative dishes (or so I think) unless there are allergies, diabetes or other problems, but when children choose they are not always wrong.
I don't like chard.
The rejection of specific foods is called neophobia (if it is about unknown or almost unknown foods), in principle it is not a problem, since it is about your children eating proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, foods with fiber every day. What else do chard give if you eat lettuce?
I have said that there is no such thing as a poorly eaten child, although sometimes there is some kind of medical problem that causes lack of appetite, but it is associated with other symptoms such as apathy, weight loss, signs of dehydration (because you neither eat nor drink water) such as dry skin. So the solution is not to force, but to go to the pediatrician.
How to make my children eat?
We have already said it: healthy food and a balanced diet (presence of all nutrients daily). More? you can do other things:
- If you have time you can look for beautiful presentations for the dishes.
- Change the way you cook: carrots raw and seasoned instead of boiled, grilled instead of boiled.
- That they help you to do the shopping, to plan, to prepare the food ... Involvement motivates and establishes links with food.
- Patience, patience, patience ... They are not obliged to accept the fish: let no one deny you the possibility of trying again on another occasion (to try, not to force them).
- Don't be overwhelmed that he doesn't like beans, does he eat broccoli? Then you already eat vitamins, reassure yourself that the important thing is to acquire a good base, not that before the age of 10 you know ALL the flavors of the world.
In addition to these tips, I could add the importance of eating five meals a day (to avoid snacking), that you do not watch television while you eat, and that you remember that water is always the best drink for all.
Images - Franklin Park Library, The 5th Ape