For some time now, many mothers, fathers, and professionals have wondered if the gender violence that is observed in the adolescent population may be related to the uncritical acceptance of gender stereotypesAs they point out Margarita Petit and Montse Prat, These stereotypes are directly present in everyday life of girls and boys, influencing their decisions, their way of loving, and the way they understand power within the couple.
They are observed far too often sexist attitudes in adolescents and pre-adolescentsThey normalize controlling one's phone, justify jealousy as proof of love, or accept that one partner should "take the lead." It's disconcerting that a generation that has grown up seeing many mothers enter the paid workforce and many fathers become more involved in housework still accepts that it's It's inevitable to control schedules, friendships, or social media. of their partners. Various social perception studies continue to show that a significant percentage of boys and girls consider certain controlling or humiliating behaviors acceptable, indicating that Formal equality has not yet translated into real equality in affective relationships..
Ángel Peralbo is a clinical psychologist specializing in children and adolescents.and author of the book “From Girls to Bad Girls”. In an interview I had with him, we tried to understand why There are girls raised in contexts of apparent equality who end up accepting relationships of domination.Ángel explained that neither the family, nor the school, nor society in general have provided enough support for Develop emotional intelligence and strengthen self-esteemThus, many discourses on equality remain in theory, but fail to transform everyday experiences.
This lack of emotional skills is combined with other factors that recent research has brought to light: the influence of the Myths of romantic loveThe role of social media, exposure to pornography with violent content, the internalization of hostile and benevolent sexism, and the normalization of violence in the family and media environment are all factors that contribute to this. That's why it's so important to delve deeper into how these systems work. gender roles and stereotypes and how they connect with gender-based violence among teenagers.
Girls, boys, gender roles and stereotypes
We can affirm that a person is a woman or a man based on their biologyBut it is not possible to naturally attribute to it “typically feminine” or “typically masculine” functions, because these adjectives refer to a cultural constructWhat is socially expected of each sex is learned, not written in the genes. If we normalize that women and men have different responsibilities at home, school, or workIn practice, we are denying equal opportunities, almost always to the detriment of girls and women.
An everyday example helps to illustrate this: if it is It is always the mother who takes the children to the dentist or to extracurricular activitiesWhile her father studies, works overtime, or rests, she misses out on opportunities for education, leisure, or professional development. The key lies in that "always": an unequal distribution maintained over time becomes a rigid gender role which limits women's life plans and reinforces the idea that men are destined for the public sphere and women for the domestic sphere.
As we socialize, we also learn the behaviors that our environment considers masculine and feminine; that's gender roles.
These roles are usually structured around the childcare and household chores for girls, And economic support and decision-making for the childrenLater, these beliefs about what a woman or a man “should be” are transmitted. Gender roles have been established because we live in a patriarchal societywhich has historically sought to maintain a hegemonic masculinity: strong, controlling, competitive and powerful over women.
In this context, many studies indicate that the differences in status and power between men and women They remain one of the most significant causes of gender-based violence. Sexism functions as a mechanism that justifies and perpetuates this inequality: it presents male dominance and female subordination as logical, natural, or even desirable. When these messages are internalized from childhood, they can act as a “self-fulfilling prophecy”because they guide the dreams, fears, and decisions of girls and boys.
In this article on patriarchal society and gender violence It explains how the past and the various socializing agents (family, media, school, peer group) contribute to maintaining this order with the acceptance by a large part of societyWe often end up applauding or minimizing unfair situations that shouldn't exist.
Girls and boys: the same behavior, different meanings
Imagine you have daughters and sons. Due to the education they received, the influence of their environment, and what you yourself have learned, You interpret the same behaviors differently. It depends on who does it. Identical behavior can be viewed positively in a boy and negatively in a girl, or vice versa. If your sons and daughters notice and point it out, or if some celebrate it while others suffer in silence, the damage is already done, especially if you don't stop to reflect and continue acting the same way.
The table above shows how the The adjectives that are assigned change depending on the sex.A highly sensitive child may be seen as “delicate” if it’s a girl, or “effeminate” if it’s a boy. A persistent girl is labeled “stubborn,” while a boy with the same persistence is considered “tenacious.” A girl who refuses to be dominated is “aggressive,” while a boy who stands up to injustice is “strong.” These double standards fuel the idea that there are emotions and behaviors permitted for some and forbidden for others.
Research shows that stereotypes associating masculinity with gender are transmitted from a very early age. agency and instrumentality (action, toughness, competitiveness, little emotional expression) and the feminine with the expressiveness and communality (tenderness, empathy, dependence, social sensitivity). This division not only limits girls, who learn to prioritize care over their own projects, but also boys, who learn to repressing vulnerability and fearreplacing them with anger or detachment.
All of this directly impacts teenage romantic relationships. A girl raised to be accommodating, understanding, and self-sacrificing will be at greater risk of to tolerate control or psychological violenceA boy raised to be dominant, lacking empathy, and a winner will be more likely to justify the use of force or humiliation when he/she feels frustrated or insecure, especially if he/she has grown up seeing violent role models in his/her environment.
The consequences of establishing gender stereotypes
Rebecca Cook, a gender specialist, explains that the problem arises when the stereotype imposes a burden or denies a benefitA clear example was the ban on women's suffrage for decades, but even today we find remnants of this logic: the authority of female leaders is questioned, men who take care of others are ridiculed, or teenage girls are pressured to fit into an impossible ideal of beauty.
Cook also emphasizes that stereotypes affect both women and menAlthough gender violence has a clear structural component against women, there is a strong social disapproval of men involved in raising and caring for childrenAlthough this trend is decreasing, when a father reduces his working hours to care for his children or openly expresses his emotions, he often faces ridicule or criticism that reverts him to the traditional role of distant provider.
Research on violence in general indicates that exposure to violent role models in childhood and adolescence It increases the justification for violence and the risk of perpetrating it. For example, it has been observed that adolescents who receive physical punishment in their families are more likely to physically assault your partner in the future. Violence tends to be transmitted from generation to generation, unless protective factors intervene, such as non-violent social bonds, explicit rejection of violence, and alternative conflict resolution skills.
In the case of gender-based violence among adolescents, the following are also added: particularities of this stage of life:
- Intensity of early romantic relationshipsThey are experienced as something absolute, where it's all or nothing, which makes it difficult to relativize and set limits.
- Control cycle: control of mobile phones, social networks, clothing or friendships appears, often disguised as concern or love.
- Short duration but high intensityShort but very absorbing relationships, in which intense episodes of jealousy, breakups and reconciliations are concentrated.
- Influence of social media and pornography: practices of control, humiliation or sexual violence are normalized and perceived as "game" or "passion".
- Lack of self-perception as victims or aggressorsMany girls do not recognize themselves as victims because there are no physical blows, and many boys do not see themselves as aggressors because "it was just a comment" or "a fit of anger".
This entire system has consequences for the physical and mental health of adolescent victims of gender-based violence. Among the immediate consequences Physical injuries, gastrointestinal problems, headaches, insomnia, and symptoms of acute stress are common. Medium- and long-term effects may include immunological, cardiovascular, respiratory or gynecological disordersas well as depression, anxiety, substance use, feelings of failure, self-blame, and even suicidal thoughts.
Therefore, it is not enough to act only when violence is already present. It is essential to work on the stereotypes and beliefs that legitimize inequality and that lead girls and boys to be confused about what a healthy relationship is.
The task is not only to review how adults handle stereotypes, but to help change perceptions about girls and boysso that they can grow up without limiting labels that could lead to inequality and violence.
If you're reading this and you have daughters, sons, nieces, nephews, or grandchildren, remember that oft-repeated phrase: “Education holds the key”It is essential that we get involved to achieve a real equality in relationships and to eradicate gender violence from the earliest emotional experiences.
The most recent studies on adolescence and youth show that A large majority of boys and girls are aware of some act of gender violence in couples of their age.This includes mobile phone control, insults, emotional blackmail, distribution of intimate images without permission, and physical and sexual assault. One of the most frequently recurring stereotypes in these investigations is the classic “strong like dad, sensitive like mom”, which again defines what is expected of each sex.
What would happen if we started by truly believing that men can also be sensitive?Asking for help, crying, and caring? What if we worked to empowering girls so that they are in control of their bodies, their decisions, their future plans, and their relationships?
Image — Aislinn ritchie
Panel — From the book «Feminism for beginners», whose author is Núria Varela.
Adolescence, sexism and gender violence: what the research says
Professor María José Díaz-Aguado and other research teams have shown that gender violence in adolescence is closely linked to deeply ingrained sexist attitudes and gender stereotypesIn large samples of secondary school students, it is observed that boys tend to have these stereotypes more deeply ingrained than girls, although in both cases the level of internalization is high.
The studies carried out they reflect that:
- La Exposure to violence in the family (insults, shouting, aggression between adults or physical punishments) significantly increases the risk of justifying and exercising violence in the couple during adolescence.
- Beliefs persist that portray women as “provocative” or “guilty” in certain situations of conflict or aggression, especially when it is perceived that she occupies a superior status or when the violence occurs between women.
- There is a greater tendency to justifying violence between peers or towards authority figures that explicit violence against the partner, which can mask many behaviors of psychological abuse and control.
- A certain change in the self-image of girls and boysThey are beginning to attribute qualities traditionally considered feminine or masculine in a somewhat more flexible way, but significant resistance still persists.
These studies also show what types of educational programs help to reducing sexism and the risk of violence in the school context. Among the most effective strategies are:
- The use of cooperative learning and discussion in heterogeneous groups, where girls and boys can compare their ideas and question stereotypes.
- The inclusion of specific activities to detect sexism and gender violence in the curriculum, and not just in specific talks.
- The promotion of a own and positive identity in the students, helping them to decide who they want to be without being trapped by gender mandates.
- The development of interpersonal skills as an alternative to violence: assertive communication, negotiation, anger management, seeking help.
- The connection between preventing gender-based violence and Defense of human rights and respect for all minority groups.
The normalization of violence in early adolescent relationships
In early adolescent relationships, gender violence often appears in a subtle and progressiveIt doesn't start with a shove or a slap, but with hurtful jokes, constant criticism, demands for passwords, banning friends, or emotional blackmail. This dynamic resembles the well-known “cycle of violence”, described in adult couple relationships, although cohabitation is not always present in adolescence.
Often, the escalation is not linear: there may be periods of relative calm followed by outbursts of jealousy, control, or public humiliation on social media. The victim, who is usually experiencing their own... first great love storyShe has difficulty identifying the situation as violence, especially if there are friends in her environment who normalize similar behaviors or if the aggressor alternates episodes of abuse with gestures of apparent remorse and intense affection.
In addition, the influence of the Myths of romantic love It's enormous: love is associated with possession, sacrifice, enduring everything, "completing" the other person, or patiently changing one's partner. Recent research shows that a strong belief in these myths is related to more tolerance towards control and jealousyas well as a greater likelihood of remaining in harmful relationships.
The media, TV series, and social networks also play a powerful socializing role: the plots of many teen fictions present relationships where The conflict is resolved through symbolic violenceExcessive jealousy is often interpreted as proof of love, and aggressive characters are frequently portrayed as attractive and charismatic. When these messages are not critically analyzed, they contribute to teenagers considering "normal" what is actually a form of abuse. pattern of abuse.
Furthermore, the constant presence of sexual content on the internet and the easily accessible pornography It reinforces highly stereotypical models of masculinity and femininity, normalizing male dominance and female submission, as well as sexual practices without clear consent. All of this impacts how young couples negotiate boundaries and respect in their intimate relationships.
Given this situation, it is essential that families, educational centers and institutions address the prevention of gender violence among adolescents comprehensively, including the analysis of gender stereotypes and the messages they receive through new digital environments.
The evidence accumulated by research and educational programs shows that, when one works thoroughly on equality, self-esteem, social skills, critical thinking, and detecting signs of abuseAttitudes that justify violence decrease, and the ability of girls and boys to ask for help and break off harmful relationships increases.
Changing this reality requires time, consistency, and support, but every conversation, every questioning of a stereotype, and every act of shared responsibility at home contributes to ensuring that future generations can live affective relationships based on respect and equalityfar from gender violence.