Tips for a respectful weaning in children older than 2 years.

First of all I would like to remember that the weaning of a child should not be conditioned by his age. It is frequent that in our day to day we hear all kinds of comments when we breastfeed children over 1 year old. And when the child is over two years old, people even pull their hair out. They do not understand how having formula milk, or even that of the cow, follow the "vice" of the teat. And in public!

The first thing to do is understand the child. Since the breast was born, it gave him everything he needed: warmth, comfort, food ... As our baby has grown, the breast has continued to be something very important in his day: it helps him sleep, calms him and of course, it continues to feed him. Although from the year onwards it is no longer his main food, for him it is still essential. But there comes a time when we may have to stop breastfeeding sooner than we would like; It may be due to the arrival of a new baby, seeing ourselves unable to practice tandem breastfeeding. Or simply because of the personal circumstances of each mother. 

Types of weaning for 2-year-olds

Weaning is a more complex transition than it seems. It can be conditioned by many factors and depending on who starts it, it will be what conditions the type of weaning that we are practicing. Some of the weaning that we can find after two years:

Weaning at the mother's initiative

If our child over two years of age is not willing to breastfeed but we want to, we would be talking about this type of weaning. We do not talk about weaning at the times when many of us think "I won't give you the tit anymore because I'm tired", because our son has been pulling down his shirt 5 times a minute at a family meal. The causes of a mother to want to wean her child can be many and none should be judged for it.

When the initiative of weaning is taken by the mother, It is more common for the child to have a worse time than if it has been something premeditated between the two. The nights are the hardest periods of time when it comes to removing the breast from a child. Normally and if they wake up, they like to feel that their tit is next to them. The first weeks the nights will be very difficult and as a recommendation, I would practice a night lactation so that the child would not have such a sudden change.

We must be very careful with mastitis and breast engorgement that can appear from the moment our child stops breastfeeding. The milk will decrease its production, but it is normal for the first days to accumulate in the breasts and cause pain. The ideal would be to go to a midwife for advice. If you want to wean from one day to the next and you prefer to forget about breastfeeding your baby forever, there are pills that cut milk production. Ideally, it should go away naturally, as in all mammals.

Weaning by decision of the child

This type of weaning is the most natural and the one that will best respect the demands of your child. From the age of two and when children are more aware, they can begin to be curious about other kinds of things, leaving their boobs aside. This type of weaning begins when the child barely takes a couple of feedings a day, eventually not suckling for a couple of days.

In addition, as they grow older, the sleep begins to be deeper since they have developed all the phases of sleep until they sleep almost like an adult. If at night you start to prefer to sleep than to breastfeed, you will not want to continue breastfeeding at night either. If you are pregnant, your child may want to breastfeed. It may be because they want to adopt the role of older brother, and "older children" do not breastfeed. But most likely changes that milk experiences in taste and quantity during pregnancy, motivate your child to quit.

When our children leave our breast, it is normal for us to feel sad. The transition is also hard for us when the child is the one who decides not to breastfeed anymore. If the fact that your child has stopped breastfeeding affects you emotionally, do not hesitate to express yourself. But we have to respect our son, and if for him the chest is over, for us with all our regret, too.

Weaning by mutual agreement

Sometimes mothers want to end the breastfeeding period but we do not want this to affect our child. The possibility of talk to our son older than two years and explain why you want to end breastfeeding. Or at least clarify why you are going to breastfeed less times.

Include our children in the decisions we make, will make them feel like they have value and a gap in family decisions. Although we are adults, we can make mistakes and think that the best thing for our child is to start weaning when he is trying to tell us otherwise.

To help weaning you can take a series of tips and tricks that both lactation consultants and midwives consider valid. And above all, they help the respected weaning. 

Tricks to help weaning

Distract your child

Our son often finds play with our chest. How many of you get hooked on your tit and start playing with the nipple on the other side? To avoid "boredom" feedings, it is important that we keep our child distracted. We will avoid smartphones, tablets, televisions and computers as much as possible. Activities like drawing, looking for puzzle pieces, or making houses with blocks can help.

Replace the breast

When weaning has begun it is normal for children to start sucking their thumb or accept a pacifier. So that this does not happen, do not offer pacifiers or have them within reach. Thumb sucking is something that we can hardly avoid throughout the day. This type of behavior is seen more often in mother-directed or "forced" weaning.

If your child is asking for your breast out of hunger, can you offer something to eat, avoiding as much as possible sweets and unhealthy foods. And if, on the contrary, he asks for your chest out of thirst, taking advantage of the summer seasons we can give them fresh water, natural juices or watermelon, which will also help keep your tummy full.

The golden rule: don't offer, don't refuse

Without a doubt it is the best trick to start a respected weaning. As mothers, many of us offer the breast to our child if we sit quietly to enjoy a little time together. This rule It is the simplest so that the shots are reducedIf your child does not ask for the breast, do not offer it. But if he claims it, either by pulling your shirt or yelling at you, do not deny it as this can cause him emotional damage.

The only "downside" is that nor guarantees a total weaning in a short period of time. If we need weaning to occur on a deadline for whatever reasons, we could start with this rule but making smart use of distractions and substitutions. 

What can we do if our child does not want to leave the breast?

It is possible that after trying to advance weaning, this was a failure. The natural weaning of the child, which occurs by his decision, is between 2 and a half years and 7 years of the child's life. Yes. 7 years. It seems outrageous, but The astonishment of saying that a 6-year-old can continue to suckle is the fault of society.

Breastfeeding has been pushed aside, we have lost our primitiveness. We forget that we are mammals, that our breasts are made to feed. And above all, we have fallen into what society considers "normal." Before, it was normal to breastfeed for 1 month, maximum 3 months if it arrived, and then switch to formula milk. All the women said they had run out of milk; others that her 3-month-old son no longer wanted any more breast.

The problem is that "prolonged" breastfeeding, despite being a WHO recommendation, it is no longer considered normal; it is even thought that the mother is ill, that it gives her pleasure to breastfeed her child or that she has him "in love".

No one should get between a baby or child who is still being breastfed. Now that my daughter is on her way to 16 months, I notice the gazes riveting on us when I breastfeed her. Some are tender, others are wonder. There are even disgusting ones. Remember something, as simple and direct as this: they are our breasts and we will breastfeed until we leave them! And whoever does not like it, the firmament is extensive to count its stars.