If there is something that we fathers and mothers want to promote, it is the independence of our children. That they learn to fend for themselves to achieve their dreams, to be happy in their own ways, those that they themselves choose. Encouraging independence does not at all mean freeing ourselves from our responsibility as parents, or subjecting children to any type of risk.
Absolutely. It is about knowing how to offer the best strategies, the best skills for children to trust themselves feeling safe, loved and supported. Hence, Montessori pedagogy is always a good context from which to base ourselves to take guidelines, advice and orientations to educate our children. From «Mothers Today», we want to show you what advice we can apply to children between 6 and 11 years old. Can you come with us?
The sensitive periods of children between 6 and 11 years
As we talked about in our previous articles as Montessori pedagogy for children between 3 and 6 years oldChildren, up to the age of 11, experience what the famous pedagogue called "sensitive periods."
- Sensitive periods are moments of great learning potential in the child. You will never have this great opportunity again to absorb all stimuli, to be so receptive, to acquire information with such skill.
- Inside what each child has its own maturation process, and its own rhythmsIt is important to bear in mind that its neural plasticity is still very intense. Hence the importance of stimulation, of that guided supervision that parents must give them where we always support them, while at the same time providing them with new learning situations.
- From 0 to 5 years old, children will develop their maximum maturational leap, especially at the motor and communicative level.
- In the ages between 6 and 11, affective and emotional support will prevail. It is those ages where they are introduced to a new social sphere, they already leave home and come into contact with the other society: school. Here, we are going to have to put into practice other strategies that we are now going to teach you.
Montessori pedagogy for children between 6 and 8 years old
We are facing what experts call middle childhood. They are still children, but they already have enough skills to take care of themselves in the most everyday tasks. It is a "magic age" and parents can see it very clearly.
Children are already more perceptive and their words already acquire a more symbolic, more critical depth, with a capacity already on what are the norms, morals, what is right and wrong ... It is a time when our children will demand more independence. They already have their first friends and have established new important bonds for them.
When a child feels confident he stops seeking approval at every step he takes.
Maria Montessori
The importance of establishing clear rules
If there is something that children need to grow up safe, it is to know where the limits are. Since tomorrow they will be people who carry out their lives in a society marked by implicit laws, norms and customs, it is necessary that they learn as soon as possible that at home, as in the world, there are limits that they must respect.
As María Montessori told us, Adults must act not as authoritarian parents or teachers, but as guides, as people who know how to promote the growth and maturity of the child allowing in turn their own ability to act. How do we interpret this?
- Between 6 and 9 years old, children already know how to place themselves in the world, and they already think about the future. In order for them to see themselves as confident and courageous people, they need us, as parents, to recognize and value them at all times.
- Every rule imposed at home must be reasoned. It is necessary to explain why it is imposed. Otherwise, the child, not understanding it, will react to it.
- When the child makes a mistake or an infraction of these norms, our task will never be to punish to humiliate, to call attention to how clumsy or rebellious he is. This type of indication is "not useful."
- When we sanction, we must explain what has been done wrong and provide guidance on how you can do it better.
Yes to positive parenting that favors independence
The child between 6 and 9 years old is at an age where he will make many inferences from everything around him. It is necessary to give him positive, constructive and safe stimulation. They pay a lot of attention to others, both adults and other children their age, they are like "sponges" of emotions and behaviors.
They are in a phase that goes from "inside out", later, when adolescence arrives, the process will be in reverse. Everything that happens outside will be processed towards themselves.
- Talk to your child about school, friends, and the things they want to do in the future.
- Teach him to respect others.
- Help him set everyday goals and strive to achieve them.
- Teach him to be patient.
- Do fun things as a family, promote union, communication, affection ...
- Teach him to have his own ideas, to be critical, to go beyond what you see on TV or see on the Internet.
Montessori pedagogy for children between 9 and 11 years old
The world of tweens is full of interests and concerns, but also fears and insecurities. We are in that period where it is essential to favor two dimensions in children:
- Self esteem
- Self-confidence
It is possible that we are sometimes surprised by their reactions and behaviors at these ages, however, far from reacting in an alarming way, remember that they are simply looking for limits and new challenges: their own, yours and those of society itself. In what way can we guide them in this stage according to Montessori methods?
- Give them responsibilities in the day to day with which they feel useful.
- Treat them like adults who need a special love, who need to be guided but not controlled.
- Let them make mistakes, you don't want to solve all their problems. To become independent adults, they need to learn from their own mistakes.
- They will ask you every day to have greater independence from home. Having independence requires learning to be responsible, and this is something that they must demonstrate to you day by day.
- As Montessori indicated, it is necessary for children to have daily responsibilities, that they take responsibility for their things, that they have their own voice but that they know how to respect themselves and the world.
- To show you that they are responsible and that they deserve a little more independence, they must earn it day by day. Taking care of your room, meeting at school, helping at home and respecting the schedules back home.
In conclusion, when it comes to promoting the independence of children between 6 and 11 years old, it is necessary to attend to their needs, their emotional world and make them feel that they are safe, and that they have our support in every step they take.
A child who feels supported will gradually discover that he is capable of doing many things on his own. That security will make that day by day he needs your care or your approval less. You will want to explore the world to achieve your dreams and be happy.