It is estimated at a 23/25% of girls or with a 10/15% of children the percentage of minors who suffer sexual abuse before the age of 17 (ASI); It is a figure that tends to remain. This is supported by various studies conducted in Spain, other European countries, the United States and Canada. One of the reasons that explain the occurrence of ASIs is their lack of visibility, which leads to a very poor social awareness.
And if these data are already worrying, it is worth adding that 60% of victims do not receive help, either because they don't tell or because their parents hide it. Child sexual abuse causes lasting psychological and emotional damage. It is a complex problem, and its approach is also complex. They persist myths about socioeconomic profiles that do not hold up: There is no single profile of the aggressor by social, economic or professional level.
En the Argentine Archives of Pediatrics the is described accommodation syndrome of the victim (Roland Summit), which brings together typical behaviors that the child adopts in the face of the situation:
- Lack of protection that paralyzes and prevents resistance (even if the parents are nearby). The child cannot defend himself like an adult, he falls into hopelessness and can be felt guilty.
- Secret out of shame and fear of punishment or that the aggressor I stopped loving him. The threats direct reinforce fears.
- Accommodation: between “the responsible adult is bad” and “I deserve this”, self-incrimination predominates to survive emotionally.
- Late complaint and conflictive: many cannot tell it when it happens. They can reveal it in adolescence or adulthood, at the risk of not being believed.
- Retraction for fear of the consequences and revictimization when the case is mismanaged.
Child sexual abuse is, in more than 80% of the cases, perpetrated by people from the family environment or very close (monitors, neighbors, teachers).
Sometimes I wonder what my reaction would be if one of my children told me they had suffered some kind of abuse. Imagining it is not the same as having to react.A mother's response may depend on her family structure, her relationship with the alleged abuser, or her ability to put the child's interest first to the social perception of the problem. The natural reaction is to protect, but the actual answers vary.
Not all mothers respond in the same way
After an attack, profiles can be observed depending on the reaction later (not what we think we would do):
- Believe from the first moment and protects.
- Start protecting some time after finding out.
- Suspicion, But is afraid to admit it.
- Know, but acts as if I didn't know.
- Believe and want to protect, But stays together emotionally to the aggressor.
- It appears normal at the expense of harm children.
- Participate in abuse.
- It is a lie regarding what happened.
All of this presupposes that the child dares to tell it. And if not? Detection is key and the indicators should be placed in context (here you can expand: detection indicators). One of the pillars of change is make the problem visible y believe the children to break the silence. Those who listen and support them begin a difficult but restorative path. In Spain there are specialized resources. Let's start by believing: a child lacks the maturity to invent experiences of this magnitude and needs those who love him to be there unconditionally on your side.
Fountain - Argentine Archives of Pediatrics.
Prevention from the family: teaching how to say "no," understanding the body and the digital world
The consequences of ASI and its high prevalence make it prevention as a social priority. Fathers and mothers play a central role. Evidence indicates that when parents know what is abuse and they teach to his son to say no", ask for help and get out of risky situations, children develop better behaviors rejection and resistance.
- Daily communication: talk about your day, friends, leisure time and school, maintaining a climate of trust and active listening. Sharing our difficulties also normalizes asking for help.
- Naming the body correctly: teach the Private parts and that no one should touch them except for hygiene or health care agreed upon with trusted adults. It is recommended Kiko's Rule of the Council of Europe.
- Say "no" firmly: practice at home assertive rejection and seeking help. This ability supports your derechos, their freedom of action and their self-protection.
- Good secrets vs. bad secrets: a “good” secret makes delusion and is revealed in a short time; a “bad” secret generates discomfort or fear. Make it clear that they can always tell it.
- Online risks: talk about grooming, sexting and impersonation. Do not share no data or intimate images, do not meet strangers and ask helps under any pressure.
- Co-parental involvement: the active participation of both parents from birth protect, same as the supervision and the creation of safe environments.
The literature shows that the parental knowledge is often insufficient or unequal: many families do not know how or when educate in prevention, they feel shame or they believe that "they will learn later." Effective programs emphasize offering age-adjusted information, reinforce the body self-esteem and practice rejection strategies. A greater parental awareness about myths of abuse, Preventive actions y warning signs is associated with more rejection capacity In the kids.
Disclosure of abuse: protective or harmful environmental reactions
La revelation decisively modulates the psychological well-being of the victim. Evidence indicates that the response of the environment may be protective o harmful and affect symptoms such as depression, anxiety, somatization y general discomfort.
Reactions that help (associated with less depression and less somatization):
- Emotional Support: believe, validate, console and transmit to maximise security and your enjoyment..
- Help and information: to guide on resources, treatment y steps to follow, respecting the child's time.
Reactions that harm (related to more symptoms):
- Distraction: “don't think about it”, “get on with your life”. It invalidates the pain and perpetuates the silence.
- Treat differently: overprotection, distance or extreme caution that reinforces the stigmatization and the feeling of being “fragile.”
- Egocentrism: focus the reaction on the own anger or anguish of the adult, leaving the victim in the background and adding Stress.
- Control: decide for the victim (or for the family) without consent, which increases the feeling of helplessness.
La denial and blaming They are especially harmful and frequent, especially in abuse intrafamilial or when the victim is a male. Conversely, believe, support and accompany It is associated with better adjustment, both in childhood and adulthood.
When the victim is a mother: impact on sexuality, pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum
Sexual violence in childhood can leave traces in adult life that emerge strongly in the maternityIn the perinatal consultation, difficulties are observed that the patient is going through. sexuality, the decision to become a mother, the gestation, the delivery and the puerperium:
- Sexuality: reactions of avoidance or compulsive exposure, shame, guilt for pleasure or rigidity. In assisted reproduction they may appear inadequacy or rejection of the body.
- Reproductive decision: fears of not to protect to the baby, to medical checks or deliverySome women decide not being mothers to prioritize their care.
- Gestation: increase of anxiety, depression, Eating Disorders or substance use; painful memories emerge, especially when the level of stress increases emotional sensitivity. Therapy at this stage may be very beneficial.
- Delivery: intense fear of to lose control, refusal of analgesia for fear of “getting trapped”, dissociation y flashbacks. Intrinsic triggers (pain, nausea, secretions) and extrinsic triggers (genital exposure, procedures, comments) reactivate the trauma.
- Puerperium: challenges in lactation (nudity, sucking, intimacy), dyspareunia, and increased risk of anxiety, depression or relapses in best before date.
- Partnerships: distrust of other caregivers, overprotection, ambivalences and fear of “doing harm”. Often this is the time to start a therapeutic process.
For perinatal professionals: a key trauma-sensitive approach, with empathy as well as, respect and avoiding revictimizeThe therapeutic relationship can be restorative. Don't forget the baby: assess the risk if the aggressor is present and refer to specialized support groups in pregnancy and postpartum.
How to act if your child tells you
- Believe it and be thankful that he has told it. He emphasizes that is not guilty.
- Keep calm and avoid interrogations. Questions should be asked professionals formed.
- guarantees security: protects contact with the alleged aggressor and activate protocols if applicable.
- go to professionals (child and adolescent psychology, social work, forensic pediatrics) and receives legal guidance.
- Documenta what the minor narrates without forcing it and follows the health and judicial indications.
- Don't judge or blameAvoid phrases about “what I should have done.”
- Receive support For you: If you get overwhelmed, it will be difficult for you to support your child.
Important: abuse can also be committed another minor. From a certain age onwards there is criminal responsibility; below, parents and specialized services in minors.
ASK US FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT
Help your child learn the ANAR Helpline for Children and Adolescents 900 20 20 10Assisted by psychologists, with support from social workers and lawyers. 24/7, anonymous, confidential and free.
As an adult, you can get psychological, social and legal advice at the ANAR Adult and Family Telephone 600 50 51 52.
Indicators and early detection
La most cases It remains in secretThe most robust signs are: what the child tells, changes in your comportamiento and signs in their emotionsIn very young children, the sexualized games outside their evolutionary stage can alert. Always place the signs in their context and if in doubt, consult with professionals.
Remember that the lack of support and denial aggravate psychological discomfort; on the other hand, Emotional Support e insights promote better outcomes. Without coping resources, the family may overflow, so it is advisable to resort to prevention programs, specialized care and information campaigns in schools, media and networks.
Recommended bibliography
• Noguerol, V. and Fernández, M. How to detect and intervene in abuse and child sexual abuse. Tea Editions, Madrid.
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The experience of child sexual abuse is one serious violation of rights with effects that can be immediate and long-term. Although there is no “single syndrome”, the following are common: depression, the anxiety, the guilt and dissociation, with high variability between victims. This variability is related to risk and protective factors individual and environmental factors, including social reactions after the revelation. Therefore, to make visible, creer, accompany and access specialized resources It is the basis for protecting children and promoting the recovery of those who are now mothers and fathers seeking to raise children without repeating the harm.