When you are struggling with infertility and they tell you that you really are pregnant, you probably won't believe it. You can feel great optimism in your pregnancy, that although it is not without fears (like any other pregnancy), the joy that runs through your body is greater than anything else.
Along with this initial excitement, anxiety, worry, or fear can also accompany you. You are aware that there can be problems and having a positive result on a pregnancy test does not always ensure that everything will go well. Following this, you need to know some things that no one will tell you after having struggled with infertility and when you finally got pregnant.
You won't always be happy after infertility
You may have ever thought that just by being pregnant you would be happy enough ... but this doesn't really work that way. It is completely normal to feel happy and nervous when you know that you have become pregnant. What's more, pregnancy and postpartum depression are more common in women who have struggled to conceive.
This can be partially hormonal and partially due to the stress of infertility. Coping with pregnancy-related depression does not mean that you are a bad person, it is not your fault at all. Don't hold back your worries and find a friend you can trust. Even if you see it necessary, you can talk to a therapist.
All the emotional struggles of infertility don't magically go away with a positive pregnancy test or even after having a baby. It's okay to ask for help if you need it. If you think you may be depressed you will need to talk to your doctor.
You will feel guilty
If you've struggled with infertility, you've likely met people who are also trying to conceive. When you get pregnant it is possible that you worry about those friends who used to give you comfort and who perhaps now feel bad because you have been lucky enough to get pregnant. This type of envy is normal and you shouldn't judge them for feeling that way.
You will have to be aware of the type of publications or images that you share on social networks so as not to hurt them. You also need to understand that sometimes hearing this good news also brings hope and excitement to the world. Tell them the truth, don't lie to them, share the news with them in a sensitive way.
On social media, remember that it is possible (on Facebook) to block people from certain posts or share photos only with a certain list of friends. This is one way to avoid guilt for sharing photos. But ask your friends if they mind seeing your pregnancy photos before blocking them… They might want to see them!
Denial can occur
When you get a positive pregnancy test you may also try a few days later because I don't really believe you and you want to be sure. You may not really believe it until you hear your baby's heartbeat for the first time.
You may have a lot of worry about losing your pregnancy that you find it difficult to connect emotionally with it. Don't worry if you don't feel this 'connection', you need to take good care of yourself to take care of your baby. It is normal not to immediately bond with the newborn baby. It is a myth that these feelings magically appear at birth. It takes time and that does not make you a bad mother far from it.
Pregnancy will not be how you imagined
While many pregnancies after infertility are normal, statistically speaking, you may be at higher risk for some pregnancy problems. The risks will depend on why you couldn't get pregnant, your past pregnancy history, your current health and weight, and how you conceived.
If you took fertility medication, your risk of having a multiple pregnancy is higher. Twin and triplet pregnancies carry a higher risk for you and your babies. The risk of preterm birth is higher in women after infertility, even if only one baby was conceived.
Having a higher risk of complications does not mean that they will happen. Those risks may still be small. Also, for some complications, there is nothing you or your doctor can do differently. It is important that you do not take responsibility or blame yourself if something bad happens.
Talk to your doctor to find out what risks you may face during pregnancy, ask what you can do to reduce the risks in any case. You are likely to have a premature labor if you don't drink a lot of water or if you don't eat well. One way to reduce preterm labor is to have a healthy diet and nutrition.
Preterm labor can also be stopped if it is caught early enough. Knowing the red flags and when to call your doctor can increase your chances of having a healthier, full-term pregnancy. Talk about this with your doctor as soon as possible.
Suddenly you worry that you made a mistake
Maybe you shouldn't be a mother. This is one of the things that people say (but shouldn't!) To men and women struggling to conceive. It's infuriating and frustrating (and it's not true). Then when you get pregnant and you start to worry about what will happen when the baby arrives, you think that maybe those people were right in their words.
A small part of you may wonder if all those people were right. Maybe you weren't destined to have children. Perhaps, in some way, you have tricked fate into giving you a baby even though you are not the right mother. If you have these thoughts, you are not the only one. Even those who have not dealt with infertility may worry if they will be good parents. This is a common fear.
Talk to people about your concerns. Whether you're talking to a friend or a therapist, expressing your concerns out loud can help you realize how unlikely it is. Also, remember that there is a lot of information in parenting books, articles and videos that can teach you many things. You can also ask friends, family, and your doctor for advice. You will soon discover that there are few right and wrong answers. There are many ways to be a good father or mother, and your instinct will guide you in this.