Since the psychologist Daniel Goleman popularized the concept of Emotional Intelligence, many families and schools have become aware of the determining role that emotions have in the daily life and in the way we relate to each other. The term, in any case, was not new: it had already been proposed previously by the psychologist Wayne Payne, and it coincides with the vision of Howard Gardner and its multiple intelligences, which opened a broader educational perspective and adjusted to the human reality.
In this context, to encourage and instill In our children, Emotional Intelligence (EI) is an investment in their present and future. At Madres Hoy, we offer a complete guide with keys, activities, and practical answers so you can educate in emotions from home and in coordination with the school.
The importance of educating in emotions
Many families ask themselves: Why is it important to educate my children in Emotional Intelligence? It is key because Educating is not just transmitting content, it is also teaching to living in balance, to cultivate healthy bonds and make better decisions. Good EI helps children identify what they feel, regulate their reactions and understand others.
Reflect on these ideas for a moment and you'll see why. worth:
- Education is not limited to learning to walk, talk, or memorize facts. To educate is to teach how to live: to look for the happiness and contribute to the well-being of those around us.
- La emotional management It is key in the child's daily life. You can teach him that sadness or frustration are not relieved with rage; That cry It also liberates; that communicating with words what is happening to you is healthy; and that putting yourself in someone else's shoes is practicing empathy as well as.
In many school environments, EI is gaining ground, although there is still a long way to go. integrate it transversally at all stages. The emotional literacy can be started from the 3-4 years with adapted activities, and plays a decisive role in adolescence, when children strengthen their identity and face internal and social conflicts.
Amongst the most cited benefits When educating in emotions, the following stand out:
- Higher quality relationships: Empathy facilitates strong and lasting bonds.
- greater solidarity: By understanding the other, the desire to help.
- Better performance academic: a strong EI favors the atención, health and study habits.
- Positive social image: Children who understand and express their emotions well project confidence. and respect.
- Strengthened self-esteem: By identifying and understanding what we feel, we prevent difficult emotions from taking over. control.
The basic pillars on which Emotional Intelligence is based are eight; far from being fixed traits, mature with experience. That's why it's important to instill in them as soon as possible:
- Understanding
- Emotional expression own and others'
- Social skills
- Empathy
- Assertiveness
- Self esteem
- Selfconcept
- Autonomy
What is emotional intelligence and what are its components?
Emotional Intelligence is understood as the capacity to recognize, understand and manage one's own and others' emotions. It does not replace academic knowledge, it complements it with skills that make a difference in life. Personal life and professional. Its essential components include:
- Emotional self-awareness: knowing what I feel and how it influences me behavior.
- Self-regulation: manage my reactions without repressing or letting them get to me dominate.
- Self motivation: activate internal resources to persevere from a positive look.
- Empathy: understand the emotions of others through words, gestures and silences.
- Social skills: communicate with respect, collaborate and resolve conflicts.
Psychological research shows, in very diverse contexts, that EI explains a significant part of assessments and well-being. In studies with executives and retired athletes, for example, it has been observed that EI can explain more than a half of the differences between successful trajectories and more complicated ones. It's not a magic wand, but it is a decisive factor which strengthens self-esteem and adaptation.
Let's see now 4 keys to educate in Emotional Intelligence (EI) and how to enrich them with simple activities and routines.
1. Work on basic emotions
The basic or primary emotions are the joy, the fear, the rage and sadness. When should we start identifying and managing them? As mothers and fathers, we must be clear that Emotional education It starts from day one. Sleep and eating routines, constant care and gestures of affection are already education.
From the moment you pick up your child and rock him, you are giving him the most powerful values: love y to maximise security and your enjoyment.As he grows, you will see “explosions” of those emotions. Teach him to name them, to distinguish how they feel in the body and to recognize them in others.
Don't hesitate to ask your child how he or she feels and help him or her differentiate rage y sadness. Sometimes anger hides a lack or a disappointment that hurts. Suggest that he explain it with words or with drawings, and adds simple scales from 1 to 5 to measure the intensity.
Remember one key idea: there are no “good” or “bad” emotions; they are all valid and provide information. The important thing is the adequacy of the response according to the context. You can train calming strategies , the breathe deep, count to ten or take a tiempo before to answer.
2. I put myself in the shoes of others
Empathy is an exercise that must be practiced daily. It's not enough to acknowledge what I feel; it's also important to read the emotions of others. Empathy is a pillar of coexistence: it fosters understanding, the respect and the union.
- Identify emotions in others that I myself experience strengthens the link and respect for those around me.
- Ask questions that spark their curiosity about what others feel: "How did you see the grandparents today? Do you think they were happy or tired?" o “How do you think your friend felt when he wasn’t invited?”.
- Lead by example: work on your own empathy at home (tone of voice, patience, listening) and help him/her identify your emotions, a previous step to recognizing them in others.
- Play at “reading” emotions by lowering the volume of the TV to focus on gestures and body language, a fun and very useful practice.
3. We learn to love ourselves
Teach a child to to value oneself Loving yourself is as important as food. Self esteem It sustains well-being and maturity, and will be the engine with which you will face the world. It is cultivated day by day with security and confidence. .
- Use phrases of breath: “you're going to get it”, “You deserve the best”, “If you try again, it will turn out better.”. Avoid empty praise: focus on the effort and improvement, not just in the result.
- Recognize achievements big and small with reinforcement significant (choosing the dessert, sharing the achievement with the family) and guidance in the fracasos with learning strategies.
- Promotes the autonomy: that they make decisions appropriate to their age and assume responsibilities, knowing that they have your support financial.
4. I express what I feel, and I know how to listen to you
Don't let them reach adolescence as young people. hermetic who don't express what they feel. Practice dialogue from a young age challenge, pleasant and respectful.
- No sanctions Don't ridicule what they say. If they feel their words will be judged, they'll stop communicating.
- Practice the active listening: mindfulness, eye contact, and clarifying questions. Teach them to take turns and respect other people's opinions.
- Works a emotional language clear: “I feel X when Y happens and I need Z”. It helps to channel anger with pauses, breathing or movement physical.
- Create spaces for dialogue “at ground level” (type Assembly) to speak, listen, imitate and build group awareness.
Practical activities and games to train EI
With simple games and dynamics you can turn your home into a emotional laboratory Fun. Here are some suggestions that work for different ages:
- Games with the mirror and facial recognition: identifying expressions in photos and faces; imitating faces and completing the sentence “I also feel… when…”
- Tales and stories: After reading, ask what the characters feel and how the conflicts would be resolved; relate emotions with colors or metaphors.
- Reading emotions in series: Turn down the volume and guess what they feel based on their gestures and posture; this is how they train their empathy as well as non verbal.
- cooperative games: foster common goals and a sense of belonging; improve social skills and self-esteem.
- Classrooms with movement or physical activities: the body helps regulate activation, useful for children with a predominance kinesthetic.
- Apps about emotions (moderate and supervised use): they serve as support for identify states and talk about them.
- Family meetings: short meetings to share how we did, what made us happy or worried and what Agreements need.
- Relaxation and attention: 10 minutes of breathing, body scanning or visualizations to train the self-regulation.
- Encouraging communication: focuses the reinforcement on the proceedings (effort, strategy) rather than final success.
- Explore causes and not just consequences: instead of punishing for behavior, investigate with the child the why and co-create alternatives.
- Empathy and assertiveness from childhood: model that emotions are contagious and can be expressed without to damage.
- Limits with sensitivity: clear and caring framework; knowing how far you can go contributes to maximise security and your enjoyment..
- Natural consequences: allows the child to experience logical results of his actions ("if the ball stays in the court, we will have to wait for it to happen") keep playing
- Help others: charity work, small errands or caring for a pet teach us to prioritize other people's needs.
How to provide support from school and professional support
Check if the school offers programs social emotional learning (SEL) or tutored coexistence spaces (such as “lunch with peers”). These initiatives strengthen the cohesion of the group and teach communication strategies. Smooth coordination between family and school is essential to align expectations and respond coherently.
If you find yourself having persistent difficulties identifying, expressing or regulating emotions, it may be helpful to have nucleoside individual or group development of social skills. Professionals help build a emotional vocabulary and training tools in a safe environment. For children who think and learn differently, EI provides resources to cope challenges academic and social.
An interesting resource is to bring children closer, with simple language, to the idea of triune brain (Paul MacLean): Understanding that we have a more reactive part, an emotional part and a more rational part helps to name to sensations of well-being or discomfort and to better choose the response.
Additional advice based on evidence and experience
Various research in education and psychology has shown that EI correlates with trajectories more stable jobs and healthier personal lives. In different samples of managers and retired athletes, it was observed that the components of EI explained a very significant proportion of the <strong>success</strong> and psychosocial adjustment. These findings reinforce the convenience of training it from the childhood.
Practical recommendations For mothers and fathers, useful from an early age:
- Allow to feel: Do not silence crying or sadness; accompany and explore it. cause.
- Measure intensity: uses scales (“little, medium, a lot”) to calibrate the state emotional.
- generate empathy: share your own emotional experiences tailored to your edad.
- Reinforce self-esteem: encouragement, recognition of the progress and unconditional affection.
- Encourage decisions: age-appropriate options and responsibilities that build autonomy.
How to Teach EI at Home and School: A Step-by-Step Plan
In addition to the 4 keys, you can follow this practical and progressive approach:
- Self-Knowledge: that they learn to identify emotions with their name ("anger", "sadness", "jealousy") and to explain the why.
- Self-regulation of anger and frustration: think before acting; pauses, breathing and time out with sense.
- Self motivation: recognize achievements, manage failures and persevere with support.
- To play To learn: draw faces with emotions, look for images and ask what they feel; method playful and effective.
- Empathy Applied: put yourself in the other's shoes, analyze gestures, silences and the context.
- Reflection on past reactions: assess when you acted constructively and what can be improved.
- Formulate strategies new: agree on concrete alternatives to challenges frequent (noise, anger, turns).
- Help Opportunities: small solidarity tasks in family or community to train the consideration By others.
Long-term and adult benefits
Acquiring emotional competencies from childhood fosters key skills for the future: teamwork, management of the frustration, tolerance, commitment to medium and long-term projects, better relaciones personal and strategies assertive to solve problems. As adults, there is still room for improvement:
- Recognizing emotions mixed in each situation and accept their complexity.
- Be aware of the repercussions of not regulating ourselves (screams, words that hurt).
- practice a emotional language clear and respectful.
- Respect other people's emotions even if we don't share them.
- Improving communication receptive and expressive: listening accurately and responding with empathy as well as.
Common mistakes to avoid
There are frequent setbacks that sabotage emotional learning and that we can prevent:
- Invalidate emotions (“don't cry”, “it's not that bad”): it reduces security and makes it difficult self knowledge.
- Punish to express: teaches to hide, not to regular.
- Overprotect: prevents experiencing consequences natural and learn.
- Praise results only: devalues the proceedings and the effort.
- Incoherence Adult: Model by example what you want to see in your children.
- Absence of limits: without a clear framework, security and regulation they resent.
Promote an emotion-based education in your children from the very beginning and at every moment of their lives. With this, you will contribute to forming more autonomous and empathetic adults, capable of building healthy relationships and taking care of themselves and others. To achieve this, remember that your example It is the most powerful tool: also educate your own Emotional Intelligence and you will see how it multiplies in your children.
